Scarlett is developing some odd little ways. She has been stashing an old tube of kiddie toothpaste that has run out and I had told her to throw away when I bought a new tube a couple of weeks ago. She’s also started to claim to be scared of going into certain rooms on her own – this is totally inconsistent and generally seems to be as a way of avoiding doing something (getting pjs on to go to bed, cleaning teeth, putting toys away) but is accompanied by genuine tears and looks of real fear as though she is able to talk herself into something scary really existing to back up her desire not to do something.
Ady has tended to pander to this rather – when I told her to throw the toothpaste tube on the fire he would have let her either keep it or done the whole getting rid of it without her realising – I am much keener that she not only knows it’s gone, but that she’s been the one to dispose of it. He will also go into rooms with her when she claims to be scared whereas I’m more inclined to talk her through what’s worrying her and encourage (ok shout at her!) to get on with it on the basis that if I believed there was anything for her to be scared of then I promise I wouldn’t let her do something.
At this stage it all seems harmless enough and I recall fretting about Davies tics and twitches at almost the identical age (why do so many things seem to follow like this? I’m so glad I blog so much and can go back and check such things). He still does little things when tired or stressed but as his natural state of being seems to be tired he’d overcomming that and he so rarely gets stressed it doesn’t seem to notice. I often think that he would have been potentially a rather odd child if we’d not handled everything in the way he have along the way (formal learning, school, leaving him anywhere before he was ready etc.) but I wanted to record it in the same was as I did with Davies just because it is something we are dealing with daily at the moment and I am rather perplexed by it.
I’m sure the biggest part is avoidance techniques about certain things, next comes possibly a bit of attention seeking mixed in with watching things like Primeval and Doctor Who that I certainly wouldn’t have had Davies watching as young as she does, so exposure to more wildly scary things to set her imagination off. I do think that many phobias have their roots in minor events in childhood though and I’m keen to ensure we don’t allow unwarranted fright to develop into more than it should be.
Ooops! I commented on that old post about Davies because someone (mentioning no names, Dani) had minimised the browser on it and I came along and assumed it was current! Sorry…
Comment by Allie — 25 February 2008 @ 10:26 pm
C went through a phase of being afraid to go to half the house after dark (even with the lights on) but she’s OK about it now, although when she’s stressed about something she does still have irrational anxieties (unconnected to the thing which is stressful). I sometimes think she would be labelled a ‘strange child’ if she was in school, and that might dent her confidence badly, so I’m glad we can avoid that.
Comment by Jan — 25 February 2008 @ 11:11 pm
😆 @ Allie, that explains it, I did wonder! I think you could be right Jan, chances are this little phase with S is nothing to do with being scared of anything in any of the rooms – will ponder further and see what else might the root of it, although I suspect it is as basic as the couple of times last week she was left without me and the fact she is anxious about her first Rainbows without me staying later this week…
Comment by Nic — 27 February 2008 @ 4:04 pm