One word? When seven would do…

Yesterday – Ady spent most of the day cutting vast swathes of the croft with the SNH machine. I walked down to the village in the morning, bought some bits from the post office and picked brambles. In the afternoon I made jam including the 300th full size jar (and the 140th mini jar) which brings me to done with jam making for this year I think. I had about 5kg of brambles from last year in the freezer this year which got added to the tally so any more we pick in the next week or so will be frozen for next year. Scarlett and I watched some animal documentaries and a couple of episodes of Junior Bake off.

Today – In the morning Ady and I walked down to the village, put a wash on, picked some brambles, collected yesterdays post, got some stuff from the freezer and put some stuff in there. We came home for lunch and then Ady went out to rake up all the cut stuff from yesterday while I did baking. Scarlett helped me and we made 2 loaves, 8 rolls, chocolate chip cookies, ginger cookies, cup cakes – chocolate, chocolate orange, lemon, and ginger. We had no eggs so found an egg less recipe. The oven thermostat has broken so it only has one heat now – super hot! which as we mostly bake bread is not too much of a problem but does mean we can only cook things like cakes at the very bottom and therefore everything takes ages. I finished the rainbow bag and made a start on a glasses / phone case.

Ady and I spent some time talking about future plans. Not really ready to share them just yet but good to feel we have a proper plan again. I’d been feeling a bit drift-y.

Yesterday morning I picked some brambles while Ady did stuff with pig fencing and then we went down to the pier. I dropped Ady at Deb’s to start helping load up their removal van and headed to the pier to collect a few deliveries before going back to help too. We got it all loaded pretty quickly – Fliss, Clare and Dan were there helping too. We picked a few more brambles and then came home. I made jam and made dinner and we watched Everest on dvd.

Today – I woke to a reply to an email I had sent which has irritated me all day. I am currently not replying but have ranted all over the island with friends about it. I’ve settled instead for mentally composing a reply rather than actually typing it out and sending it.

We went to the SNH office to collect a cutter – a sort of overgrown lawnmower type machine which cuts through the reeds and rushes on the croft and we have on loan for a couple of weeks. We stayed awhile chatting with Lesley, David and Ross and then headed back to the croft. I picked brambles as I went so got left behind Ady walking at the fast pace of the self propelled machine. I also got caught chatting to Fliss along the way and then some  visitors who had seen the TV show last year and wanted to chat so I was quite a long way behind him. We had lunch and while I had intentions of getting back out and picking some more I never made it as it was wild and windy with showers for the rest of the day, so I crocheted and listened to the radio instead. Ady has cut vast swathes of the croft with the machine and it looks amazing. The plan is to cut quite a bit and then let the sheep and geese graze it so that it comes back as grass. The cut stuff will be used as a mulch for the raised beds over winter.

I had worked myself up and was not actually hungry by the time I made dinner so I didn’t really eat but I will enjoy my stir fry for lunch tomorrow and fully intend much bramble picking then.

The winds were pretty wild on Thursday and Friday nights. Autumn is definitely here.

Friday we did get a boat, despite us all speculating we might not. We went to wave Mike off – he gave us a card with some lovely things written inside, amusingly much of it similar to what I had written in his. We will not miss him as such and I think it is for his own best interests that he has moved on but it’s sad to see yet another person come – filled with hope, energy and optimism for their life on Rum – and go, not having made quite what they planned of their time here. What a very strange place to be this is…

Most of our deliveries came – mostly amazon, mostly non exciting stuff to be honest –  sack of rice, two boxes of noddles, two sacks of flour, kilos and kilos of sugar, instant coffee, bulk orders of teabags, oatcakes and corncakes, tins of yeast, a sack of cat food, stock cubes, 5 litres of olive oil, 5 litres of washing up liquid, 48 rolls of loo roll. A sort of months worth of boring supermarket shopping really I suppose. Essential and rather life changing if it is not here but not worthy of excited unpacking. My jam jars came though which while also not exciting was pleasing! We loaded it all from the Jeep into the Rangerover and managed to drive all the way up the croft which was fab as it was a very full car loads worth.

An afternoon of jam making followed. About 80 jars worth if I recall correctly, having taken all of the previously picked stash from the freezer. Pizza for dinner.

Saturday morning I was working at post office and Ady at the hostel. I did my shift which mostly entailed chatting to Jed, walked around to meet Ady and picked some brambles along the way. Home for a late lunch and some more jam making for me in  the afternoon. It was community bring and share meal with a Mexican theme. Davies and Scarlett are at various stages of a cold and don’t like Mexican food anyway so we had already decided the day before they wouldn’t come down and I had made extra pizzas for them to reheat. Ady and I went down and it was a nice evening although we finished pretty early and were home by 11pm.

I think if we don’t have music at these events they always seem to fizzle out quite early.

Today – it’s been very showery with some really heavy rain at times. I did an hour or so bramble picking around the croft in the morning and later this afternoon Ady, Scarlett and I walked down to the village and picked some more. I made jam (another 30 jars) when we got home and Ady cooked a lovely roast dinner.

Yesterday – the boat was cancelled although actually the morning was quite fine and I latterly regretted not having got outside while it was ok but instead I started a new bag and did some online stuff. I made wraps for lunch and we watched some stuff online. It was quite a lazy day really. In the afternoon we listened to loads of Desert Island discs and sat infront of the fire.

At 6 ish we all headed down to the village to pop to the shop before going along to Bayview for Mike’s leaving party. It was not terribly well attended but those who were there had a nice enough time. I got to do singing which always makes for a good evening in my view 🙂 The kids left around 930pm and got a lift part of the way with Fliss, we left around 11 and were home around 113opm.

Today the weather was nice this morning so after Popmaster and a failed attempt at a seeded loaf I went and picked brambles for a couple of hours while Ady did some stuff with the electric pig fence. I picked loads in and around the croft – fingers crossed my jam jars arrive tomorrow as I have a real stash of brambles to make jam with and want to get that done. We had lunch and then Ady and I went down to the pier to meet the boat, putting a load of washing on en route. Some of our expected stuff came off the boat but not all. I did manage a chat with Lesley who came down and and Fliss and we picked up a gas bottle as they arrived on the boat. We came back, reloaded all the stuff into the Rangerover and drove back to the croft. We unloaded everything, put an empty gas bottle into the car to take back down and had a cup of tea before heading back down again to return the car. We walked into the village to check for post, put the washing into the tumble drier and grab some bits from the shop.

We fed the pigs when we got back and it started to rain just as we came in and hasn’t stopped yet – definitely the best of the weather enjoyed today!

I rang my parents. We had a mishmash of dinner tonight – there is another Great Potato Crisis of 2016 with none to be had at the shop so Ady dug out a packet of Smash for Scarlett and we found some frozen roast potatoes at the shop for the rest of us. Ady made cauliflower cheese for the other three and I made steak pie for everyone. We watched Bill which arrived in the post and was pretty good. We’ve been really enjoying series 1 and 2 of Yonderland from Lovefilm – if you’ve not seen it already I highly recommend. It’s written and stars lots of the Horrible Histories cast and this film, Bill also stars many of the same actors and tells the story of Shakespeare. Very good.

It’s blowing a hooley out there tonight, rain lashing at the windows and supposed to pretty much carry on this way until about Wednesday next week. Autumn has definitely arrived.

which may or may not be the correct line to that poem and I cannot be bothered to go check. I think Tuesday’s child is either fair of face or full of grace actually and it is Thursday’s child who works hard for a living but never mind…

Ady was off at the crack of dawn feeding the animals and heading down to the village to saddle up ponies and go ghillieing. I was woken by him heading off but read my book in bed for an hour or so. It’s quite a good read, one of those spanning generations type books. I seem to keep ending up with harrowing reads as amazon suggests things based on previous reads and either goes down the very frothy chick lit or the thriller type books, neither of which are actually my favourite reads but are always at 99p which is definitely my favourite price.

There was a mountain of washing up – I had cooked potato gratin, pork chops, four types of vegetables and a creamy whisky sauce for dinner last night which was delicious but involved using every pan and dish in the house so dealing with that took nearly an hour. Plus we are out of washing up liquid (arrives on Friday’s boat fingers crossed, Mum & Dad being here meant certain things ran out quicker than usual, loo roll and washing up liquid being cases in point) so I was using handwash which is an almost but not quite acceptable substitute, particularly on a greasy or stuck up task like this was. I couldn’t even listen to the radio as it was Popmaster.

I drank my tea, finished the silver and grey bag, played with Bonnie and stroked Kira and then headed down the hill to do a castle tour and pick some brambles along the way. Two of the three sheep were out of their pen, still on the croft and only close by their pen grazing. I debated trying to get them back in but decided they were unlikely to roam much and I would be better doing it with help when I got back. I picked brambles for an hour which is always excellent head space and makes me think of all sorts of things as I let my mind wander. I had just one taker for the castle tour, a nice bloke who has been to Rum – and on the tour – before so he didn’t really need the full spiel. That worked well as we just wandered around the castle chatting and with me pointing out my favourite things and him asking questions. He was so interested that I took him behind the scenes and showed him part of the old hotel and hostel too. He loved it and gave me a tenner tip when I’d finished! 🙂 Result!

I dropped the brambles I’d picked off at the freezer and came home. Davies and Scarlett helped me herd the sheep back in their pen, I fixed the gap and Scarlett made me some late lunch of soup and bread. We chatted for a while and then Scarlett fed the birds while I fed and watered the pigs and I walked back down to the village for a few bits of shopping. There was only Jinty, Trudi and Jed at the shop so I stopped for a beer with them which was nice, before coming back home.

I got dinner on and had a shower while the kids got stuff ready for the generator and put it on. Poor Ady didn’t get home til 8pm, out for over 12 hours. He will sleep very well tonight. We had dinner, watched some HIMYM and I think everyone, except Davies, will be asleep early.

Not sure it’s relief but certainly an exhaling.

It’s been gloriously sunny all day. Midges are gone (although the wasps are out for their last hurrah) and there is a satisfying chill in the air.

Our oven appears to be broken. It seems to be the thermocouple / thermostat. I think it is within our scope of DIY to fix but may or may not prove expensive. At the moment it all works but runs at just the one level of heat – pretty darn hot. Not the end of the world but sufficient to have Ady pleased to have something to fret over.

This morning we walked down to the post office as I had a box of jams to post, a crochet bag to post, birthday cards for Jack and Maisie to post, Lovefilm to return and some SNH employee surveys to send back. Hurrah for the jam and bag sales, had no idea we would actually be able to sell stuff mail order, makes something of a mockery of us feeling it is our remote location which serves us well in sales… I had an email ordering 5 loaves of bread, 4 pies and a couple of jars of jam for next week too.

We bumped into Clare and Dan on the way to the post office who confirmed the rumours we had already heard circulating that they are leaving Rum. This is Big News – another two people leaving joining the two who announced they were leaving a couple of weeks ago and the one who already left. That puts us at under 20 adults now. Interesting times…

We had a chat in the sunshine sitting on the bench in the village with Clare and Dan and were joined by Neil and baby Dougal. Then we left to go and have a training session in using a super mower type machine that SNH are happy to loan us for cutting grass and rushes on the croft. It will be amazing and means we can actually start to clear some of the wilder parts of the croft. A funny old mix of progression and positives tinged with an odd feeling of something unexplainable when folk announce they are leaving.

Home for lunch – bread I had baked before we went and chicken soup from yesterdays roast which Ady had left simmering with Scarlett watching over. A nice lunch 🙂 Then Davies stayed behind while the other three of us headed to the village for bramble picking. Ady drove us to the pier and he spent some time taking a thermocouple off an old cooker down there (it is not compatible with ours) while Scarlett and I walked back to the village picking as we went. Debs caught us as we walked past her house and she joined me walking to the campsite and picking there which is where Ady caught up with us. Scarlett had made her way to the village. We put a good 5kg or more of brambles into the freezer for when the jars arrive.

Tomorrow Ady is ghillying while I intend picking more brambles and have agreed to do the castle tour should anyone arrive to attend. I am hoping no one does and I can just pick more brambles in the forecast sunshine.

The first stags are roaring.

Hmmm, where to start?

A visit from my parents. This brings every emotion going really. Guilt at not being there where they are most of the time. Relief, at not being where they are. Nostalgia for times gone by, whimsy for things which might have been. Rage at my mother for oh, so many things, acceptance, again mostly directed towards my mother. Frustration – albeit a mostly vicarious emotion at them for not appreciating what they have, for not making proper choices while they still had time. A bit of rage, for the injustice – mostly now on Scarlett’s behalf as Davies is once again feted as king of the world while she is sidelined so blatantly. Tenderness for them with their faults and foibles and failings and for being merely human, no more, no less. For being the people who made me and therefore all of us, for what they have given and continue to give.

Wish she’d listened to me and bought more fruit and vegetables with them though…

Davies was 16. This feels huge, so huge I have not yet properly digested it. I have written over on the other blog. I intend writing more.

Ady and I celebrated 17 years as Mr and Mrs. The world around us feels filled with many less compatible life partners. I am unsure as to whether to feel smug, fortunate or an uncomfortable combination.

News of another couple I didn’t really know but was aware of parting. This both rocks and steadies my world.

Our new car arrived. Everything crossed this car will take me and the kids all the way south next month having taken all four of us further north and west the week previously, pushing the geographical boundaries of the UK ever further. It will offer freedom, a taste of the mainland and a further step back towards our old lives. Is this the first step back? The first step towards moderation? I don’t know.

Not Back to School and the start of the final school year for Davies’ peers has niggled at me in some unspoken way I am unable to articulate. My Mum asked me this week what I would have changed about Davies and Scarlett’s education if I’d known then what I know now. My reply was instant and without consideration. Having pondered further since it remains the same.

Anyway, all of that. I am not sleeping well. I am desperate for our holiday in three weeks, convinced it will not run to plan. I said to Ady earlier than in a weird way I almost want it to be over and done with so that I can stop stressing about whether it will all go smoothly. Surely that defies the very definition of a holiday?

Don’t recall the specific days this week and not even going to try. But things that happened included:

Bramble picking – a fair bit of and the first jam making sessions of the year. A full jam stocktake of what we had left in the shed including some relabelling and pricing of some of the jars which had gotten a bit damp in the shed and had faded labels.

Firewood processing – Ady collected some wood from the castle where no one lives anymore so we’ve been chopping that up. The grenade log splitter which I properly love has disappeared so I ordered another one but in the meantime Ady finished chopping it with brute strength (and an axe 😉 )

Reading – learning about mulching and feeding plants and soil improvement – definitely my autumn project for the raised beds now we have it all caged. Feeling very positive ab0ut crops for next year.

Practical shit – I did some weeding, set up one water butt with a sack of comfrey suspended inside to make feed and organised a second larger bin with a sack of cut comfrey ready. The tap broke on that one while setting it up and it needs properly securing but we’ve made a start – a suitable small pallet appeared off the ferry yesterday to create a stand so it just needs an hour or so finishing off and then that is set up too. I cut all the grass and weeds growing under the mini greenhouses and laid down some black plastic under them to stop it all growing back.

Bag making – the purple one is almost finished and is already sold! A facebook friend (not someone I actually know in real life, she found me through my writing for Barefoot Diaries) has pre-bought it for her daughter as it’s her daughters favourite colours. I hope when my kids are grown up I am both thoughtful enough and have cash to be able to see things, think of them and buy them in such a lovely way.

Lots of online stuff – sorting car insurance, writing a couple of pieces – an autumn article for Barefoot and a piece on the heritage of Rum for Calmac’s winter on board magazine. Massive amounts of logistical stuff for organising the sheep getting here.

Ady dismantled a pig house and has spent way too much time wrangling them back in. Waddles the little pig who was not supposed to be here really had two piglets. They died, which was very sad but actually she appears to be a rubbish mother and it is a very bad time of year to try and bring on piglets anyway so despite a loss of potential livestock being sad it is also for the best. It has made her really unsettled though and Barbara has been being mean to her (presume she has a smell or coming of age type thing going on which Barbara is objecting to) so she has been getting out and Bob the boar has been getting out too. Sigh.

We set up the sheep pen with some plastic fencing and metal posts which arrived yesterday. It looks pretty good but obviously it is only when sheep are installed and stay in that you get to claim it is actually done. Today I spent 11 hours on the Calmac doing the round all the islands one way and then back the other way trip. Tedious beyond belief and pretty choppy so not very pleasant either. I am anticipating still feeling the swaying motion when I lie down to go to sleep. It was to collect the three sheep from Muck. The first call at Muck was iffy with us circling for ages before finally heading in to their harbour and so the sheep were loaded on the first boat which meant I had to stay on board for the duration. I did get to chat to loads of folk – Sue from Eigg was on when I got on, Gerry, Denise and Stuart got on at Canna, Lawrence and Toby got on at Muck and they all got off at Eigg for the AGM of the Small Isles Community Council. I headed back to Mallaig, popping down to check on the sheep every so often. More folk got on at various points in the afternoon so I chatted to them but also read my kindle and did some crochet, had some chips and spent some time outside when I started to need some fresh air. For someone who sat on a boat for hours I feel utterly exhausted!

Lots of visitors to the croft this week, which has helped with me missing mainland life a little. Not Back to School feels like a time to be with fellow HEors and a facebook message about a couple of friends being together singing made me miss those sort of get togethers. Fortunately Sarah who visited last week emailed me a picture of a traffic jam she was stuck in heading back south after their Scottish adventure which actually helped quite a bit!