Ady and Scarlett went off to a car boot sale this morning. I was awake before they went and debated calling down to them to wait for me and I’d go with them and then I remembered that actually I don’t really like car boot sales. So I didn’t.
Instead I had two cups of tea, did some moping, painted the remaining twiddly bits of the shed, had another cup of tea, moped a bit more and played bejeweled while the paint dried, had another brief mope and then went outside to complete the shed.
Ady and Scarlett returned while I was hammering in the beading to keep the glazing in. The chickens were really pissed off at the whole business. Last night they were mildy annoyed about the the banging on the patio, slightly riled at being put away early and faintly cross about the continued banging after we’d put them to bed. Today they went further through the spectrum beginning with low level outrage at the appearance of a shed in their area overnight (that’d explain the banging) and then I continued to do further noisy stuff with tools. Eventually by the time Ady had spent all afternoon in there removing all their old hutches, installing the shed on paving slabs and we’d put them all away in the new shed under protest they were forming a committee, signing a petition about chickens rights, emailing Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall and planning a bubble blowing flashmob event during a one week egg strike (bubbles – symbol of freedom and liberty you know ;)).
Shed construction was my end of the deal, Ady had to do all the actual siting the shed, setting it up and clearing up around it. Scarlett helped and I spent most of the day played bejeweled, cooking a roast dinner and a bit more light moping. Oh and I made brownies too.
At about 3pm I decided to write to Davies and did a quick note then nipped out to try and find one of the postboxes that has a Sunday collection. Except there aren’t any 🙁 I tried the main ;post office in Lancing which has Saturday midday as it’s last time. So I drove into Worthing which also has Saturday lunchtime. Ah well, I tried.
I had to pull over while driving though to take a phone call from Ady who was ringing to say Davies had rung home and was talking to Scarlett. I was too far away to get home so said I’d ring Davies back shortly and did so. He was really buoyant and happy, very upbeat, telling me all about what he’d had for dinner (chicken curry and rice – would NEVER have tried that at home), the names of all the other boys in his tent, a night walk they’d been on last night followed by hot chocolate, that he’d not slept well as they are straight on the tent floor rather than on air beds, that he’d had a huge breakfast, nice lunch and bought sweets from the tuck shop. He told me about the activties they’d been doing today and various other stuff and was very happy. I felt about a million times better and came home to find Ady feeling the same.
We had dinner and sat and chatted about leaving home and growing up and other landmark stuff. Scarlett had a shower and I had just poured a glass of wine and was halfway through taking my nail varnish off and repainting my nails before reading Scarlett a story when the phone rang. It was Davies and his voice broke as he said ‘hello’. He said ‘Mummy I want you…’ I asked if he wanted me to come and get him and he said ‘yes’ so I said I’d be there in 20 minutes, hung up and grabbed the car keys. All a total overreaction of course and I should have handed the phone to Ady so he could carry on talking to him while I drove, except of course deep down I was only too happy to go and get him.
Ady rang me on the way so I pulled over and he said the camp leader had rung straight back to say don’t come, he’ll be fine but if you come he’ll only want to come home. That of course made me even more determined to go to him so I carried on driving. I arrived to be greeted at the gate by two leaders who really, really didn’t want me to go in at all. They said it would cause problems with all the other homesick children who they’d not let ring home and Davies had only been allowed to ring because they thought he was fine. I insisted that I had full intentions of persuading him to stay but I needed to see him as I’d promised if he rang and said he wanted me I’d be there.
Reluctantly they let me in and brought him out to me. Their aim was for him to have a quick cuddle and then go back in, they had no intention of letting me talk to him alone and I could feel the vibes of ‘come on, sod off home again!’ coming off them. They did start to lead him off again after a brief cuddle but I called him back as I was not happy he wasn’t just doing as he felt he was under pressure to do so we had another huge cuddle and he sobbed on my shoulder. I asked him in a low voice if anything had happened or he needed to tell me anything and he said no. He looked incredibly tired. I explained, as much for the leaders’ benefit as his that it was his call; if he wanted to come home now that was fine and I’d take him home but if he wanted to stay that was also fine but it was 100% his decision. He said he wanted to do both so I said that wasn’t possible and he tearfully but firmly decided he wanted to stay. He perked up, we agreed that tomorrow I wouldnt be able to come to him but Daddy would and that he’d ring me tomorrow after canoeing. Eventually, a lot happier he headed back for hot chocolate and bedtime.
I stood for nearly another hour chatting to the overall leader. She said she’d been really impressed with Davies today; he’d been really interested and participating in everything. She said he’d been great with a couple of the homesick children, so much so that one of them had requested to sleep in Davies’ tent and they’d moved him in so he could be with Davies. She couldn’t believe I’d let him make the decision about staying or the thought process he’d gone through to decide to stay. I said that was always the way we did things and decisions like that should always be his and he should always be listened to. I agreed his phonecall had probably been a wobble and a knee jerk moment rather than a considered and thought out decision but that I would always trust him to know better than anyone else what was best for him and what he wanted.
We chatted at length about Home Ed which she was very interested in and hopefully she will respect any further things Davies does or says. She rang me shortly after I got home to tell me he was fast asleep and that either they or he would ring me tomorrow afternoon for an update. I’m very hopeful it will be Davies who rings.
I suspect that will be his sole wobble. He needed to know I was true to my word – if he asked me to come, I would come and of course I did. One of the reasons we were all okay (ish) about this camp was that it was just down the road so that if he needed to do this he could. I’m glad it happened; I’m glad he did miss me and home as it made me feel like he was still being Davies rather than some strange child who suddenly had stacks of bravado, I hope it bolstered his resolve that he is in the place he wants to be through active choice and of course it did mean I got a cuddle!
It’s all being a bit of a rollercoaster and I’m utterly exhausted.
Hmmm slightly cross about the camp leaders but so very proud of davies for getting through his wobble and sticking it out. hope he enjoys the rest of his adventure 🙂
*liza secretly hopes her child never ever goes away to camp or leaves home or stays out overnight or grows up*
Comment by Liza — 17 August 2009 @ 12:42 am
Glad you went (like you say you have to be true to what you said you’d do), but also very glad he made the call to stay – how gutted would he be if he hadn’t?
So hard to separate tiredness from what you might feel ify ou weren’t so tired, sometimes. Good for him, anyway.
Comment by Sarah — 17 August 2009 @ 7:04 am
You had a feeling he might have a wobble early on didn’t you? I feel pretty much what Liza said – think it’s a shame that what D was able to do is seen as exceptional. Hope he has a lovely rest of camp.
Comment by Ali — 17 August 2009 @ 8:21 am
Sounds like D handled that wobble wonderfully well. I do have some sympathy for the leaders as I can imagine a mass crumbling and night of chaos may ensue if they don’t handle homesickness carefully. But, it is, indeed, rather sad if it is so exceptional for children to be given the option to work through their feelings with support! Hope the week flies by for you. Our P has been away to camps fairly often but when she went to Norway – last month – I was pretty tense all week. Going abroad really upped the stakes.
I dread to think how it’ll be when they are off backpacking around South America or living off takeaways in some bedsit in Hull or whatever… I guess you do get used to it but it is rather hard to imagine.
Comment by Allie — 17 August 2009 @ 10:21 am
Norway? Holy crap! and I was panicking about a kid (who isn’t even mine!!) at a 20minute away campsite.
*rushes off to lock A in the cupboard under the stairs*
Comment by Liza — 17 August 2009 @ 11:11 am
“…..all the other homesick kids they hadn’t allowed to call home…”!!!!!! WTF???? Jeez, that makes me so angry. We had to go and see H at her first camp as well, and we took her out for lunch, then she decided she’d go back. (I thought she would, which was why we’d had lunch rather than hightailed it along the Mway.) I think she was testing us a bit, to ensure we would come if she wanted us too, and having had that proven to herself, was happy to stay. I just hate the way these people think kids need to be toughed up – it will happen developmentally anyway, and (senior moment coming on), I never had a night away from home till I was 15, and that was only to a sleepover. A year later I’d left for good, and never lived there again. And while I hope Hannah doesn’t do that, I think it did demonstrate then when kids are ready, they can cut the strings no problem.
Comment by Joyce — 17 August 2009 @ 3:02 pm