First slight bit of work related fall out with the children today. Entirely my own fault unfortunately although of course Ady pointing that out was rather unwelcome! 😆
I got up later than I’d meant to which meant I only really had time to get dressed, gulp down a mug of tea, gather together some clothes for the kids and spent maybe 10 minutes with them. The last time I really worked was pre-children and I was never out of bed any earlier than half an hour before I needed to leave the house. I can’t be doing with sitting around waiting to go to work, I’d far rather have just enough time to get ready (and make up and getting dressed takes 10 minutes at the most), have a cup of tea and go. But I clearly need to rethink that a little and do a bit of spending time with the children before heading off. Despite the fact I am a permanent fixture – or maybe because of it – when I suddenly become a sort of limited period only type offer I have small people clinging to my ankles, blocking the front door and sobbing with grief at my abandonment – Ady never has such troubles!
I did make the grave error of a bit of emotional blackmail to try and get them dressed before I left for work which utterly backfired and was what pushed them both into wobbly lip, tear streaked faces. But in much the same way I suspect – no actually I know, that they were employing the self same emotional blackmail tactics right back at me. I left them composed, if wobbly and went to collect Lucy, Richard and Rebecca while Ady stayed behind with them, spent the whole time talking at Lucy rather than asking about her training last night and arrived at work flustered having feared I was cutting it fine time-wise but actually arriving in plenty of time.
To give the above the happy ending, I had promised to come home for lunch if they wanted me to, rang and chatted to both children on my tea break and been assured they were both fine and didn’t need me to come home and then rang again during my lunch break and again chatted to them both. Very odd talking to your children on the phone. I’m sure it will be something I get used to but having never done much of it it is very strange to hear how grown up and mature they both sound. 🙂
So, work :). I covered lots more training-y bits and pieces. I adore the order of the procedures there – the whole numerical order for reference books, alphabetical order for fiction filing on shelves, the paperwork heavy working practises but above all I am utterly loving the people watching opportunities. In colleagues, customers and the whole community in general I am seeing constant examples of people and my fingers are itching to type all about every one of them. I have at least three potential subjects for a book I’ve always dreamed of writing, access to some of the most fascinating characters I’ve met so far in life and frankly sod the money, the having a bit of a break from the children, the lunchtime reapplication of lipgloss and the ‘nipping to the supermarket during my lunchbreak for a few bits’, you can keep the name badge, the need for grown up work clothes and even all the no more library fines or charges perks of the job, what I am loving most of all is being someone none of you lot know, someone even Ady doesn’t know let alone the children, I am being Nic At Work and it’s quite some while since I saw her in any mirrors. I’m enjoying watching my colleagues faces as they realise that not only am I likely to be pretty good at all the (let’s face it fairly mundane) work tasks they set me but actually used to be someone in a career a million years ago and that period of exploring and learning about who the new girl is. I am loving dealing with customers again, getting to know the regular faces, learn a few names, exchange banter and become a face people associate with a certain place. Of course the children are in the back of my mind – when I was tidying up the children’s books today I was browsing and gathered up a couple of books for them to bring home with me, today I ‘came out’ as a Home Educator to another 2 workmates and discussed NC with another one and of course I rang and spoke to them twice, but I am not aching for them in the way I fretted I might, I am confident that they are fine and are getting as much out of not being in my continual company as I am.
I’m feeling liberated and although I had tears rolling down my face this morning when Davies was crying and Scarlett’s bottom lip was all wobbly, I learnt a lesson about managing this whole new era properly and I’m confident that this is all going to work out really rather well for all of us. 🙂 All due respect to Lucy for her massive part in this of course. I can’t think of many people I would be quite so happy about leaving them in the care of – infact I could probably list on one hand the people who I would not only feel confident in the ability to be with my children with but actually feel like they are gaining something from being in the company of. 🙂 Hopefully my parents are going to gradually work up to spending more time with the children as a result of all this too. Dad has done two afternoons with them but he tend to take on the role of supervisory adult rather than actively doing stuff with them. It remains to be seen whether my Mum steps up to the challenge of actually doing any of the childcare – I hope she does although I think it will indeed be a challenge, but I think that she will come to regret the very small amount of time she has spent with them in their early years as time goes by if she doesn’t make the effort now.
I arrived home with a big pile of books (I have the entire catalogue of Jodi Picoult that I’d not already read 🙂 ) including several for the children so we sat and read three of those, with a further couple for bedtime reading. I think Ady is planning to bring them to the library on Saturday afternoon while I’m working to choose some films and books. Whilst I don’t want them to be a menace while I’m working the library is already somewhere they are very familiar with and I want them to get to know it as my workplace too over time. Lots of cuddles and declarations of love from them both tonight, which was lovely. 🙂
And now, because of course there is indeed a downside to working I am exhausted, a good two hours before I normally consider it bedtime, my feet ache from total lack of standing up in faintly unsuitable shoes all day, I am planning to go to bed.
Oh and I am also pondering on this years Christmas blog. Two years ago it was my nativity, last year I bottled out and this year I am debating a panto featuring blogring characters or going the whole hog and creating a Stars In Their Eyes Christmas Special with everyone singing rewritten customised lyrics to popular songs. 🙂
Oh please do do the blog! I missed it last year.
I yearn to be Roslyn the worker and the confident (working) person I once was. It’s a whole different person to whom I am now. I work my arse off every single day and go to bed shattered but it’s so very different to going out to work minus children and just being Roslyn.
Comment by Roslyn — 14 December 2006 @ 11:31 pm
Glad things are going well at work. I like being someone else at work – it uses different energy to being with the kids.
Comment by Allie — 15 December 2006 @ 12:26 am
yeah, I think the fatal mistake I’ve made with work is that I’m still just Steve’s wife whenever I’m there, not just me.
I knew you’d love it – really glad to hear it 🙂 And I guess it’s a learning curve for all of you wrt you leaving the children, isn’t it.
Comment by Sarah — 15 December 2006 @ 7:23 am
I HATE being called ‘The Bosses Wife’. FFS! I own half the flippin’ business.
Comment by Roslyn — 15 December 2006 @ 7:54 am
Oh, i am really glad you are enjoying it. I wish my work didn’t come with all the juggling it does. No, i don’t really i suppose, but just occasionally it would be nice!
Comment by Merry — 15 December 2006 @ 8:15 am
Yeah, although I am often envious of the whole WAHM thing in reality it just wouldn’t work for me. I like the whole leave the house, wearing grown up clothes and go where noone calls me mummy part of it most of all. 🙂
Comment by Nic — 15 December 2006 @ 8:21 am
Lol – i did quite like it for a while when Maddy was small, but i must admit the novelty wore off when getting up in the cold and dark became a reality!
Comment by Merry — 15 December 2006 @ 6:28 pm
It sounds wonderful. I also enjoy people watching and getting to be someone else for a few hours. Not sure I’m quite as wonderful with your children as you think. I don’t really do stuff with them, instead I just play my own games and sometimes they join in.
Comment by Lucy — 15 December 2006 @ 9:06 pm
sounds far better than wilfully neglecting them while I sit with a laptop all day like what they get in my care 😉
Comment by Nic — 15 December 2006 @ 9:20 pm
Lucy don’t sell yourself short, you’re wonderful with yours so I would imagine you’re wonderful with Nic’s too.
I’m so glad it’s being such a positive experience so far for you. And as this is my first Christmas in the company of Nics Blog, I’m looking forward to a whole new standard of christmas blogpost!
Oh and there is no way I could be a WAHM. Not for any more than very part time (I mean i did spend what seemed like an eternity, but was actually about 4 hours, stuffing envelopes and sticking them down for not very much money once). If you’re gonna spend time working, I think you at least need to bonuses of going to a workplace.
Comment by Em — 15 December 2006 @ 9:29 pm
Here is the previous offering for your reading pleasure Em
http://www.goddardstuff.co.uk/blog/?p=500
I have a bit of a plan for this years but will have to work on it. 🙂
Comment by Nic — 15 December 2006 @ 10:37 pm