here on my blog. I know, I can’t quite get my head round it either!
Been thinking on the whole educational thing, mainly being in the company of other families doing it last week at Melrose, then of course there was Katy’s show at the weekend and a further in depth chat with my Mum the day after.
The thing that struck me most at Melrose, educationally speaking was that everyone seemed to have found their way. Some of us were whole-hog curriculum followers, others were autonomous, others pick and choose a little of both. Some of us stress over it all by nature, others although they don’t care less than the stressers seem to take it more in their stride. Sometimes it’s only when you are put on the spot a bit and forced to articulate your position and opinion that you really realise you have one and believe it it enough to convince others 🙂
I spent a fair bit of time looking at all the various curriculum things on offer last week and have reached a definite conclusion that that is not the path for us. There is something inherantly rebellious about me which responds badly to being told step by step how to do stuff. That takes nothing away from the people who do follow them, very successfully, or the curriculum itself, I just know that it would not suit me, nor do I think it would really suit Davies (not sure about Scarlett yet but if she continues her ‘just like her mother’ characteristics then I guess that will rule her out too!). I am inclined to not follow them, then deal with guilt about not following them, then try and force routine on the children, who also don’t like it much and we end up stressed and learning very little other than how to push each others’ buttons.
My Mum was questionning me about autonomous hands off approaches and whether that was simply people who could not be bothered to send their kids to school and whether the kids would ever learn anything. I surprised myself by not only sticking up for and supporting that route, but actually feeling like it really might be a way forward. My example was potty/toilet training which I never pushed Davies into but he did cos he wanted to and actually told us when he was ready. He was not particularly late in being dry at 2 and a half (infact he may well beat Scarlett!) but there was pressure from friends who started their children on their second birthdays and dealt with many more accidents, stressful situations and unhappy children than me. My other example to my Mum was of Davies’ schooled friend E who learnt (under a bit of sufference) to write his name during the summer ready to start school. Davies sat last week at Melrose and very happily wrote his name on his lapbook – it was neat and recognisable and he was very very proud of himself – a direct contrast I thought.
As I explained to my Mum I don’t know how long into the future I will continue to be this laid back about all things educational – it does help having a September born baby who would not be starting school at all until later this year. I overheard someone saying last week that they dislike the whole ‘cooking is maths and science’ style of HE and I can see their point – I don’t want the kids to have huge skill gaps in their teens cos I have spun educational categories into our everyday lives – I think there is a definite place for good old fashioned learning from books, completing projects or set work and so on – but long into the future at the moment. I overheard another person talking about how they value play, play, play above all else. I think that is where I stand at the moment.
Today I have been practising Melrose at home – by which I mean I have largely ignored the kids most of the day 🙂 I got them dressed – although they have since undressed themselves in favour of fancy dress, I have ensured they are provided with a steady stream of food and drink, I helped put one lot of toys away so they could have floor space for something else and they have both been popping in and out of the playroom where I have been all day to spend a few minutes with me, tell me about their game or just appear for a cuddle.
Their games have involved getting all the toy animals out and putting them into some sort of categorisation (not sure what – if I ask it seems to spoil it, but it was definitely happening!) Davies sat for ages counting all the legs on the different insects and spiders,, taking all the sofa cushions off and leaping about on them, being Peter Pan and Tinkerbell / Jane with all sorts of imaginative play going on there, they watched and appreciated Peter and the Wolf at their request and sat listening to and identifying the different instruments, they watched Dora and knew the spanish words for ‘open’ and ‘thankyou’ before they came on the show and have acted like, well children really, all day long.
I have been equally productive in tidying the playroom/office, getting some of the washing mountain moved further along its wash/dry/fold up/outaway procession and spent nearly an hour on the phone to Karen. It would be very easy to feel guilty about being lazy / neglectful / failing in my quest to be providing an education for them, but you know what? Today I think I have been a successful member of a home educating family – and later I will be getting my fix of ensuring some real learning is happening with 100EL so we’re all fine and happy here!
In my mind, one of the benefits of HE is that I don’t need to worry about finding ‘my’ way, our ‘philosophy’ changes as we and the kids do and they can be as often as monthly. Alison and I are who we are, that will clearly constrain the way we think but I don’t think we feel we have found our way or necessary that we ever will or actually need to.
Comment by Chris — 15 February 2005 @ 5:29 pm
Your paragraph about curricula could have been written by me – i don’t use Miquon because i feel rebellious about the instructor manual, i bought getty dubay the other week and didn’t buy the manual. I like my “tools” but i don’t want to be held to a timetable. I also like ot be able to change. One thing i have faound though is that working my own little niche into a comfortable perch has made me relaxed about how i do it- i think everyone needs to find their way, even if they use a set curriculum. Everyone has an individuality.
I follow the Slimming World approach – falling off for a day or week or month doesn’t ruin anything forever, you can always climb back on tomorrow.
Comment by Merry — 15 February 2005 @ 6:23 pm
Perhaps I didn’t phrase that correctly – or perhpas as usual you and A are just more comfortable with yourselves than most 😉 But it was not meant to read as though I had been wandering the wilderness all this time and have suddenly found my way, more that I am simply feeling better about what appears to be the natural way for us to be doing this – for now and sometimes it takes you answering someone’s questions about it, or even looking at stuff and just being quite happy with the fact you know it wouldn’t suit you and leaving it there instead of worrying about why it wouldn’t suit you.
Anyway, whatever – i’m happy with it all for today, so celebrate with me on that one!
Comment by Nic — 15 February 2005 @ 6:26 pm
Sounds like there was a thought provoking convo or two held at Melrose. I am still bumbling along trying to find something that fits with us. I can do the loose curriculum I have set up with Ambleside, in fact we haven’t done any for around 2 weeks now and don’t feel guilty about it, well not very. I don’t feel guilty about that as such, but rather the amount of time my children have had to manage without me in the past fortnight.
Comment by Jules — 15 February 2005 @ 6:56 pm
we have also done a fair bit of thinking at melrose, its led to me starting to write a list of resources, subject headings, and now am going to think of different topics, what we have on them and what excursions etc, ……………….
this turned out to be getting so long, I will blog it on mine!!
Comment by helen and chris F — 15 February 2005 @ 7:32 pm
I seem to have spent nearly a year trying to find an approach and despite thinking that MA was going to be the be all and end all i’ve done what I’ve done with everything else, taken the bits I wanted and ditched the rest. K&C have had the disadvantage of being schooled so its taken ages to get out of those thoughts and expectations but it is happening. As you’ve already worked out, its what works for you and your children thats important there isn’t a right or wrong way.
Comment by Jenny — 15 February 2005 @ 8:09 pm
But C, one could argue that what you described is indeed our way 😉
Comment by Alison — 15 February 2005 @ 9:09 pm
Wow Nic – that’s probably what I have been trying to formulate in my head except I veer more towards a little routine – not a lot just a little to keep LC on the straight and narrow. That was beautifully written – I keep telling you to write that book LOL You ought to put a chapter away for every year or six months you HE – how, what and why you are doing what you are doing – then when you get to the children being say 8 (not set in stone) write the first book. Then write a second LOL HE Live and Practical LOL Well done and I do celebrate with you for being comfortable in what you are doing and who you are as these times don’t happen too often!
Comment by Karen b — 15 February 2005 @ 9:28 pm
Yep, I agree with you Alison!
Comment by Sarah — 15 February 2005 @ 10:32 pm
Thanks Alison 😉
Comment by Nic — 16 February 2005 @ 9:09 am