One word? When seven would do…

The house is pretty much finished 🙂

Dad came round this morning and has painted all the walls magnolia – ah the benefits of a small house and a builder & decorator for a father :). Everything is suitably blanked out and smelling of fresh emulsion. He’s back tomorrow to white out the rest.

Ady finally got to do the garden which is what he’s been itching to get at since we came home. Trimmed hedges, mowed lawns, raked various dead debris, moved the big barbecue into the garage, cleared the garage out, loaded the car up ready for the final run to the tip.

I baked bread – did the mixing and kneading and put it in for the first prove in the grill after having it on to make Tarly some toast for breakfast, then knocked it back and let it do second rise while the oven was pre heating to cook it. I made two loaves which will see us through til Friday, although everyone eats far more home made bread than shop bought, so it may not last that long…

Then I headed out to do some painting. The wall which faces onto the main road has three large panels which were a very chipped and tired white and look awful both in the photo online and when driving by and looking at the house. It only took less than an hour and makes such a difference. I also painted out a small patch of brickwork on the back of the house where a coal bunker once stood so had never been painted and was on the list of ‘always meant to get round to’ stuff for years. It tried to snow while I was out there and I stopped feeling my toes after about half an hour. It did strike me today that this was fairly similar to how life will be though as I made bread, worked outside for a bit, dealt with the chickens and spent some time with the kids.

Just before lunch one of Ady’s ex work colleagues came round. He’s been someone we stayed in touch with all year but is in a bad place just now. He had a really nasty accident at work within a few weeks of us leaving and his foot got caught in a machine and nearly severed. Eight days in hospital, skin grafts and foot rebuilding and he is still on crutches nearly a year later with regular hospital sessions, counselling for the post traumatic stress (along with being generally a bit fucked up), can’t drive his beloved landrover without expensive modifications being done and still has his lower leg and foot in a plastic support as regular shoes don’t fit. His quote for the specially made shoes he will need is £1000 a pair!! 😯

He stayed for a coffee and a chat – he’s very supportive of our crazy plans and offered to come and spend time helping. He won’t be much use physically but is an engineer and very clever so may well be a useful person to sit on a chair and point at people and tell them what to do! It was great to see him if rather sad to realise what a massive impact a chance accident has had on his whole life 🙁

He left and we had lunch with Dad – fresh out the oven bread :). Dad left, promising to return tomorrow to finish off and also keep an eye on the kids for the morning so they can stay here rather than come along with us all day to the fencing at the Not Swingers (I’ll nip back and collect them at lunchtime). Ady went back outside to do some more in the garden and I stayed in to clear the kitchen up and spend an hour with the kids.

Davies and I have decided we’ll do some reading together every day. He has been doing a fair bit on his own but wants the practise that reading aloud to someone else will provide. He read me two books (picture books, The Gruffalo and another similar style). He was still a little slow and faltering but I know plenty of adults who never read that well. Given he is keen to improve and has his own plan (with my support) to do so I think I can now officially consider him a reader. This is HUGE 🙂 When we embarked on Home Education all those years ago if someone had told me my son would be past 11 by the time he was competantly reading I think I would have panicked and sent him off to school. It has been a real leap of faith to continue on this path when all around have dropped off. I don’t actually know anyone else IRL who has seen this approach through all the way, most have either had early readers, or they have learnt at school before being HE or they have used reading schemes or workbooks or something structured. I know it’s not the right path for everyone, maybe not even for Scarlett but for Davies I am delighted that he has got to this point and that all important standard of being able to read has been passed which qualifies Home Education by our rather different methods as a pass for Davies 🙂 🙂

Scarlett was upset today agonising over what to do with Humphrey while we’re away. We’re gone for just over 2 weeks and our trip involves 1200 miles driving, three ferry crossings, 6 nights in three different hotels none of which accept pets, a 10 day WWOOFing in a wood burner warmed byre stint and encounters with all sorts of people and animals. I have extensively googled and read about travel with hamsters and I think we could manage with a smaller cage with sufficient room for his wheel and time each day outside the cage but it would need disgusing and smuggling into the hostels and it would be a stressful experience for Humphrey. I’d talked to Tarly about this at length and we had a Humphrey sitter lined up, someone who has already spent time with him, handled him lovingly, will care for him and adore him and do a great job. Scarlett was okay with it and then wobbled. So today we discussed various options ; bring him and risk it being really stressful for him and us, leave him with the Humprey sitter or me go on my own to the interview and crofting course so Scarlett can stay behind with Ady and Davies or even see if we could just leave Scarlett and Humphrey behind. Clearly none of these was any sort of happy or easy choice so there was much discussion about options and whether it had been the right thing to get him in the first place. There were tears 🙁 She talked and reasoned it all through and finally made what I consider the right decision of leaving him with the Humphrey sitter. I am prepared for this to change again yet but I think she has made her peace with it and knows it’s the right choice.

Further talk with Scarlett about reading. I think what Michelle suggested is definitely a big factor here – I have in the past used the lure of ‘wouldn’t it be good not to need me to read to you and for you to be able to read to yourself? If I am busy or tired or not able to read you can just read yourself. At the end of a chapter at bedtime you could take the book to bed with you and carry on to see what happens next.’ This worked for Davies who agrees that yes it would be good not to have to rely on someone else to read for you. For Scarlett, who is always going to be my baby and has always been adamant that when she grows up she is still going to live with me forever the very suggestion that reading may be tied in with not needing me is enough for her to decide if she never learns to read she’ll never not need me. I think there is slightly more to it aswell although fear of failure and unwillingness to put effort in are not characteristics she really possesses so I doubt it to be that. Seeing Davies and I snuggled up reading together with him getting undivided attention may well assist in making the learning process an attractive looking one if the end result isn’t going to drive her. She does know more letters and words than she credits herself with so I do think continuing to read to her while the page is openly on display for her to glance at too will help and I have noticed an increased willingness to write and label things so I guess it’s all moving in the right direction too. The difference is with Davies if you’d asked me even four or five years ago if I thought he’d reach adulthood illiterate I could confidently say ‘of course not’, with Scarlett she is fairly determined to do just that! Threatening, removing control, bribing (doesn’t work with her anyway, never has) etc are all hugely at odd with my parenting style, educational approach and personality and I really don’t want to go against everything I believe in and start turning literacy into a battle at this stage anyway. Scarlett does do things in her own time, I remember agonising over whether she’d ever give up her dummy and sure enough at about six years old she just did. It’s been the same with the Humphrey decision really, tears, hysterics and total lack of rational discussion followed by a very mature, considered and at peace with it all decision on her part. I need to trust she will do the same with reading and just give her both the space and the support to do it. The worst thing to do to Scarlett is make it impossible for her to climb down without losing face over something. Whether I have missed a window or not with reading clearly the window is not there now so it’s right to back off again at this time and try again in weeks, months or (eek) years time.

We did another tip run and then Ady and I worked on a rough outline of start up costs for the croft. We’ve gone down the route of pricing up livestock – shelter, fencing for enclosures, feed containers and one years feed plus cost of buying animals. Crops – polytunnel and greenhouse, tools, seeds etc, housing of static, generator and first years diesel, septic tank, water containers for rainwater harvest and freshwater supply (either filtered or otherwise treated rainwater or spring), bottled gas and food for us. We’ll then be left with a sizable chunk to invest in a house build once we know the lay of the land properly – either a traditional conventional build (unlikely) or something like an earthship or hobbit house style dwelling (far more likely). It all looks nicely achievable and will allow us to get set up, have a waterproof, warm home which will be useful for holiday let / WWOOFing accommodation / place for friends and visitors to stay, get our second years self sufficient food supply up and running and have our energy and sewage already sorted out. I’ll type it up properly and email it across tomorrow along with information I’ve gathered about kit houses, quotes for building and delivery of those and info about the earthship with a note to say we are attending a tour of one on Sunday and planning to go to Ecobuild in March for ideas.

Ady and Scarlett went off bargain hunting at CoOp and Sainsburys and picked up some cheap food to keep us going – Ady had read a tip about checking freezer sections for end of line products and picked up two packs of burgers and some frozen fish for 25p each. Davies and I tended the fire and I had a bath and I finished a book – Before I Go To Sleep – S J Watson which I quite enjoyed.

This evening’s film choice was Bedknobs and Broomsticks – we know the granddaughter (and great grandsons) of Mary Norton who wrote the book which always makes it that bit more special to watch.