First of all the smiling – huge CONGRATULATIONS to everyone at Stepping off the Path 🙂 And hurrah for another blue recruit to Mudpud to even up with all the pink ones from last year!
The laughing – well Davies had me roaring within a few minutes of waking up this morning. Both kids had got up with Ady at 6am ish and when he left at 7 I was still in bed trying to face the day – Scarlett came up to ‘visit you Mummy’ climbed into bed and promptly fell asleep 🙂 She stayed there ’til I woke her at nearly 10am, but Davies followed her up a while later and woke me up by sitting on me and stroking my knee. We then had a very odd conversation about generations before us. We covered who was my brother and my Mummy and Daddy, who was Ady’s brother, who was Granny and Grandad’s mummy and Daddy and so on. Then we got onto Ady’s parents – which we have touched on before but never really gone into much detail over – we talked about the fact that Ady’s Mummy is still alive and lives fairly nearby but we don’t see her as she wasn’t a very good Mummy. That she had not been a very good mummy partially because she was mentally ill and that she went on to have another son after Daddy and Uncle Chris who she does seem to be a better Mummy to. He then asked about Ady’s Daddy and was told again that he had died about 6 years ago because his body stopped working properly;
D: did his heart stop pumping blood round his body then?
M; (quite impressed!) yes it did
D: so then he died?
M: yes that’s right
D: that’s quite sad isn’t it Mummy?
M: Yes it is sad when someone dies
D: Oh well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles!
M: pmsl 🙂
turns out he had heard the expression on Maggie and the Ferocious Beast in a slighly different context. I probably won’t encourage him to use it in such a way again, neither do I think this bodes well for future careers in the undertaking business or writing copy for ‘in deepest sympathy’ cards but I did find it amusing.
Rachel came round this morning with baby A and we had a good old chat – talked about HE as usual but it felt a bit more of a comfortable conversation this time. I said that I thought school was actually doing E some good and she agreed, whilst at the same time agreeing that for Davies school would be wrong in many ways – I’m glad that was said as I think we have both been edging round it a bit worrying that each other was judging the other’s choices, which I know we weren’t.
Kids have graized on food all day – mainly fruit which means they are not hungry but have probably not eaten enough really. Def had their five a day today though!
Out to group when Rachel left after a frantic preparing of stuff to take with me (pens and crayons and paper, glue, a sheet with tasks of measuring each other, tape measures) and getting there early to collect a key and set the stuff up. It was sadly a bit of a replica of the situation last week that Jenny blogged about last night with kids from two specific families running amok on the lawned area, fighting, chucking water about, throwing sticks and generally being really unruly 🙁 It’s quite hard because both the mums are lovely but seem to find it preferable to sit on their arses drinking tea while their kids tear the place apart, make it less than ideal for the younger kids (i.e. mine!) and largely ignore all the tasks we work hard to lay on for them.
Davies stayed in a corner kicking his heels as no one wanted to play with him – they were not deliberatly excluding him but he didn’t want to join in with rough play and no one else wanted to opt out of it to play something with him, Scarlett kept wandering off by herself and said ‘people’s not nice to me, people’s pinch me’ which I am not sure I believe but as both my kids were fairly miserable about being there and I spent my time either telling the other kids to stop behaving the way they were, collecting together the pens and crayons I had brought which we scattered everywhere including outside and huddling in the kitchen with Jenny muttering about the others!
There were plusses – another new lady came (although she left early anyway so missed the worst of the chaos), the venue really is ideal, I spoke to the users of the adjoining rooms to ensure we were not being disruptive to whatever they were doing and they were all really interested in and supportive of HE – they work with excluded children in other areas so were fine.
I had to say something or stew on it by the end so as we were leaving I made a general announcement to the effect that this was not acceptable behaviour in this group. The whole idea of the group was that Jenny and I had set it up as an alternative to the other local groups where there is lots of running around letting off steam – I have no issue with such things but would not choose to go there myself, nor do I think my 4 and 2 year old need to be there. I said that I am not coming along to groups to spend my time shouting at other people’s kids, my two were not happy, this was not an environment they are used to, nor one I wish for them to get used to and as such unless we all really made an effort to stick to the clearly laid out group ethos next time perhaps it would be better for it not to progress from here. Frankly unless it was a group I was running I would have left and nto returned. I accept that this is normal healthy behaviour in children, and indeed fully expect my own children to demonstrate it when they are older (they are more than capable of running around screaming when required) but there is a time and a place and I also expect them to know when to modify their behaviour accordingly – and would place that same expectation on any children who are attending a venue which has MY name down as the contact. I am doing this group for purely selfish reasons – I want me and the kids to have a group which fulfils our HE needs on a once a week basis, to skill swap with other parents on crafty / arty / creative things and to give them some time spent in a group situation and equip them to deal with all the dynamics it offers. I am not giving of my time, headspace and energy for something which I would not choose to be part of. I *think* it went in – as one of them suggested an excellent activity for next week and the other said she didn’t want her kids in such an environment either (!) . We have some really nice families who come along and I know share the vision of Jenny and I – we can’t let the odd one or two spoil it for the rest of us. There, I’ve put my foot down and it feels good!
Anyway rant over 🙂
Our caterpillars arrived last Friday as part of the butterfly kit Sarah linked to a while ago and are currently wriggling and growing at an amazing pace which is fascinating the kids – must get them into some related type activities. The last couple of weeks have been mad with hardly any time spent at home – next week is looking fairly empty which will probably be a blessing as it will give us some time to reconvene and do some educational stuff at home. Davies has woken with a cold, which I imagine Scarlett will get so that might tie in well too.
Right off to get them to bed, they could both do with an early night.
ROFL, ROFL, ROFL at Davies 🙂 🙂 🙂
Hope that solves the HE meet up bother.
Comment by Heather — 27 April 2005 @ 5:51 pm
Yes, I hope it sorts it out for you. Especially as you are the ones doing all the legwork, I think you do then get to lay out the ground rules. Difficult though.
Comment by jax — 27 April 2005 @ 5:55 pm
Hugs you were very brave. I did feel today was mostly fuelled by A’s kids who were just completely out of control. Lol about Davies and the cookie crumbles!
Comment by Jenny — 27 April 2005 @ 6:03 pm
yeah I agree. and as much as I like A I think we will reach a point whereby her kids are either outnumbered by ones who are behaving and start to take part in group stuff or they get diluted by more attendees. It just worries me that new people will come along, decide we are not offering what we set out to do and don’t come back. Feel better for saying it though (not brave really, more very pissed off!!) so let’s see what impact it does have on next week’s session. (have realised I’ll be missing two weeks with HESFes and then the Mary Rose trip anyway!)
Comment by Nic — 27 April 2005 @ 6:12 pm
Oh well done Nic 🙂
I was quite impressed with our lot last week – running around in a *completely* empty hall obviously wasn’t as appealing as running around building forts with chairs and so on, and they actually organised themselves and played games for a lot of the time, some started by me, some started by the kids.
Hope things settle down next week – I guess a large part of it is that they just haven’t been before to a group like that, so all they know or expect to do is run around shouting and fighting. I’m sure as they realise there are more interesting activities on offer, they’ll join in 🙂
Comment by Alison — 27 April 2005 @ 6:33 pm
At Shinies the kids can run around and let off steam. I am about the only one who ever shouts at them! None of the regular kids have ever done anything that I haven’t liked other than get a bit noisy. I tend to round em up and get them to do something. We have this joke that I force them to make or do something ANYTHING beofre they can go off again LOL! I think you did right. HE groups are different and should be respected for that. I think there is a difference in running around as part of a game, building something with chairs and tables and the other side of just being destructive and annoying to everyone else.
Comment by Roslyn — 27 April 2005 @ 7:17 pm
so that’s it then, I’ll send ’em to shinies for that stuff and just invite them back when they are all run around out and ready to sit down and produce works of art and wonderful creative stuff 🙂
I think you are all right, and hopefully by saying it the relevant people will either sort it out and fit in or decide we are not the group for them. They took my mini-rant well anyway which is always a pleasant surprise!
Comment by Nic — 27 April 2005 @ 11:07 pm
LOL at the cookie. Hannah went through a rather obsessive phase when she was about four of asking speculativly in all sorts of public places “if that erpson died RIGHT NOW. MUMMY MUUMY – THAT ONE THERE WITH THE RED COAT – would you say they would have had a good innings, or would it be a tradgy?”, till I used to feel like gagging her. Wait till the gropu behaves like that in your HOUSE. I iwsh I could persuade ours into a hall.
Comment by Joyce — 28 April 2005 @ 9:40 am
And I’m not even drunk. What a mess.
Comment by Joyce — 28 April 2005 @ 9:42 am