A couple of events for HEors were posted up on the local facebook group recently at the Weald and Downland Museum. Every event we’ve been to there before has been excellent with passionate, enthusiastic and knowledgable volunteers staffing the museum who are only too happy to chat to interested children and adults. I didn’t know the woman (another HEor) who was organising the events and I did think her methods of planning an event were a little haphazard but put Davies and Scarlett’s names down for todays flour and breadmaking and a later one in May for Medieval Gardening. As we are members so don’t pay admission I though the price of £3 each was pretty good.
There was some messing about with splitting the groups as initially they were to be over 10 and under 10. She then seemed to be struggling to fill the older group and asked if any ‘nearly 10s’ would be prepared to go into the older group. I replied that Davies is 9.5 and would be happy to go into the older group as long as it was okay to have me not present at one or other child’s session. She then split the ages again and listed them as foundation / KS1 and KS2/KS3 at which point I contacted her to say Scarlett is KS2 so she could also move up to the older group. She checked her date of birth with me and put her in the younger group calling it foundation / KS1 / under 8s. I was slight concerned at the time as I don’t really like splitting D&S when I know they are about the same level for most things which would mean either D would be over his head or S would be bored. I was even more worried when I met up with some HEors a few weeks ago with much younger children who were all in Scarlett’s group. So I emailed her again asking if there was any way Scarlett could go into the older group as I felt I wanted her to get the most value out of the workshop and felt she would be a bit fed up if she was with a load of 5 year olds. I got a fairly terse reply to say the numbers had been submitted, she’d be fine as there were 4 six year olds in her group and actually my older child was one of the youngest in the older group anyway. At which point I considered myself told to shut up ;).
So today we arrived and joined the group of HE folk gathered outside. I was told she’d miscalculated on the prices and actually it would be £3 per child per session (morning and afternoon) so it was a further £3 each. I’d already paid for the Medieval Gardening so she said she’d just take the money out of that. At this point I started to feel a bit pissed off at just how messed about the whole thing had been. Davies and I had fallen out over him not putting his DS on charge last night so it would be ready for this morning and him then being sulky about it being flat so he was not happy about going off into his session without me and I was getting quite horrified at the idea that all the ‘peers’ Scarlett knows from Book Club and was playing with were all being shipped off to the bigger group while she was staying with what looked like a preschool group. 3 OF THE KIDS IN HER GROUP WERE IN PUSHCHAIRS!!!
So Davies went off, looking like a boy on his way to the gallows, Davies and Scarlett were both looking wistfully at each other and Tarly and I joined the little kids for a session on sowing, growing and harvesting grain for flour. Most of the kids were far too little to be listening with any level of concentration and it was soooo dumbed down ‘can anybody tell me what the white powder we use to cook with is called?’ Scarlett did really well but was a full head taller than the next oldest child, kept getting overlooked when she put her hand up to answer questions with an obvious ‘let the little children have a turn’ mentality and just looked HUGE. The group was taken to look at the barn where the threshing would happen so I said I’d meet her at the mill and went to peek at Davies. He was doing fine in his breadmaking session so I went to catch up with Scarlett.
I didn’t need to ‘help her with the stairs’ up into the mill so instead I stood outside and seethed. Then it was lunchtime. Davies’ group didn’t get back to us til nearly 20 past 12 despite the next sesssion starting at 1pm but the kids went off to watch the ducks and play with friends. I had a bit of a chat with some of the mums but was feeling that odd ‘what the hell am I doing here?’ thing I sometimes get with local HEors.
Then it was time for the afternoon session so Davies went off to do the flailing and threshing and winnowing, in much better spirits now he’d bonded with some of the kids in his group, while Tarly and I joined the pushchairs for breadmaking. First they were shown some grain and got to turn some millstones to crush it. I got really fed up with the way the woman was talking to the children in one voice and a totally different tone for the adults when she addressed us and in listening to one of the mothers with 2 small children saying things like ‘excellent turn taking’ ‘great grinding’ and ‘fabulous breathing’ to her children. Scarlett was thirsty so I went back to get her a drink from the rucksack which I’d left in the classroom and by the time I got back they’d moved into the tudor kitchen to make bread and cook it on the fire. The two children with the overpraising mother were squabbling at one end of the table, various other children were paying no attention at all and the woman leading the session had grown even more patronising and squeaky while I was gone so I passed Tarly the water and went and sat outside in the sunshine. I sat with Elaine, who was equally indignant on my behalf about Scarlett being in the younger group.
When the session ended and Tarly emerged with her bread I spoke to the women who’d organised the sessions about the age split for the gardening and said I wanted to move Scarlett into the older group. She was quite arsey and said that both groups had covered the exact same thing and I agreed they may well have done but it would have been pitched differently depending on the age of the group. (Davies later confirmed that his group had been spoken to in a normal voice, while Scarlett said the woman had talked to her group like they were all stupid). I said it was totally inappropriate that my 7 year old had been in a group with children so young they were in pushchairs, I felt she had not got the full experience she could have had from the sessions and that I wanted her moved to the older group. She said she would look and I said that if there was not space for Scarlett in the older group then I wanted to take both children out of the gardening which really seemed to surprise her.
I later learnt she was a teacher and thinks her brand of Home Ed (for her 2 and 4 year olds!) is some sort of model version. I would never presume to be telling someone with Home Ed teens how they should be doing stuff so I was really pissed off at her ignoring me twice previously about which group Tarly should be in. I did raise my voice and I was pretty cross so I imagine my name in that particular circle will be even more damned than before but I was really fed up with the whole thing and came away once again feeling that these sorts of things are a waste of time, which is a shame because we have had some great group trips -admittedly mostly one’s I’ve organised myself ;). The kids did enjoy the day but I doubt either of them learnt anything really new and I’m not sure it justified the petrol to drive over and the stress I felt. Am very tempted to contact W&D about workshops available and organise some myself though.
Elaine had invited us back for a cup of tea / play in the garden / meet their new kittens so although it had been our plan to go to a street dance group this afternoon that Davies and Scarlett are thinking of going to each week we decided to meet the kittens instead. The kids and I had a really interesting conversation about parenting styles, why some adults treat children like they’re stupid and why that is wrong, how Davies and Scarlett think they might parent if they have children and other such fascinating stuff. Love those sorts of chats with them :).
Elaine lives in the same road as Chris and Julie and Davies and Scarlett had been to their house before once when Julie was looking after them and had been dog sitting for Elaine. Another HEor came along too with her two girls so we did some kitten admiring and then the kids went out to play on the trampoline. Their garden has one border of trees beyond which is a drainage ditch, then an area of wasteland before some greenhouses. Davies and Scarlett led Elaine’s girls in a game of creating a bridge across the ditch to get to the wasteland. Elaine thought this was fab and of course Davies and Scarlett were in their element 🙂 I had to prise them away after nearly 2 hours as I didn’t want to hit all the rush hour traffic.
In the end we arrived home within minutes of Ady and I quick phonecall to Ali meant I headed off over to collect her so we could get some bits from her Mum’s. Nice to see her Mum for myself and see how well she is doing 🙂 Also very lovely to have a good couple of hours uninterupted chat and catch up with Ali :).
Back home again Davies and Scarlett were still awake so I had some cuddles with them before they went to sleep – Scarlett had managed to fall off the arm of the sofa and had a really nasty cut on her back 🙁 I cooked myself some pasta, had a brief overlap with Ady before he went to bed.
Thanks so much for taking me over and down to cashpoint for mum too
Comment by Ali — 20 April 2010 @ 12:26 am
Oh dear, did laugh at the pushchairs! S is only KS1 though ;-P
Comment by Alison — 20 April 2010 @ 7:14 am
History is changing next term. It will be interesting seeing how it pans out as I have my reservations about C being in younger (more disruptive children) group. I have already emailed asking if she could be in the older group but was told no. To a certain degree I understand but think she’s tricky to place as she’s a younger age but more focussed than most of the children (from both age groups). She struggles with the noise as it is and is worried it will be worse “stuck with the noisy children”.
Comment by Michelle — 20 April 2010 @ 8:25 am
My pleasure 🙂
Is she Alison? I thought KS2 was 7-11 year olds, shows what I know 😉 🙂
Comment by Nic — 20 April 2010 @ 9:27 am
Well, as a school mum 😉 I know these things, lol! She’s Y2 because she (like Lulah) was 6 on 1st September, which is KS1, KS2 is year 3 to year 6. Now please forget that!
I find it really *really* annoying when HE things have age limits. (And even more annoying when HEors use key stages!) There will be some people who will try to take the piss I guess, but I would bet there are more children who will be disadvantaged because of it.
What age is the older history group, Michelle?
Comment by Alison — 20 April 2010 @ 9:41 am
I lied about Lulah’s age when booking Safety Day this year, because she really didn’t want to be in the little kids’ group, with one child in particular. So she will be in the middle group with Elijah.
Comment by Alison — 20 April 2010 @ 9:43 am
Already put it out of my head!
I got an email asking if S would prefer to be in the older group or the younger group – I said the older one, if I’d realised I’d have lied about her age already too – glad they asked, she’d have been *really* hacked off if it’d happened again at Safety Day and Davies went off with Lije and Lulah while she got left with pushchairs again!
Quite aside from my hatred of people trying to force educational workshops on their toddlers anyway I also hate it when HEors are so rigid in their groups. I am so not a pushy mother but I do know my kids and having D&S in the same group would have made both of them happier, there is nothing D could do that S couldn’t AND it would have meant I could have stayed with just one group and maybe learnt something too rather than darting about between the two. And there’s lots of gushing on facebook from people about how great the workshops were and comemnts like ‘a big thumbs up from me and my kids’ which I am probably irrationally reading as a dig at the mad shouty woman who kicked off at the poor organiser 🙂
Comment by Nic — 20 April 2010 @ 9:48 am
Ah, the joys of home ed outings! Sounds very annoying. It’s always a bit tricky with age limited things isn’t it? Blurred boundaries seems to be the most sensible way to go. But, in woman’s defence (I have no idea who she is!) it can be tricky when lower limits get stretched too far. D was quite anxious when arranging some on-road cycle training recently and the over tens limit got lowered for someone. Mind you, bread making isn’t really so hazardous!
Comment by Allie — 20 April 2010 @ 6:17 pm
‘good breathing’ ROFLMAO. I used to hate it when HE outings were full of 2 year olds. Younger siblings weren’t an issue, as I always felt these parents were the pig in the bacon and eggs; but I loathed it when I’d take a 8 year old giant Hannah to something and everyone else would be in a push-chair. I know that it’s good to have support systems in place, but 99 per cent of these people ended up in P1, so I always felt it was just another bloody NCT outing for most of them.
Comment by Joyce — 21 April 2010 @ 4:58 pm
I’m sure there is an influx of pre-schoolers into our localish home ed area, I remember feeling a bit silly circulating with home educators when mine were four and two but now there’s loads of them. It was great seeing you by the way.
Comment by Lucy — 21 April 2010 @ 10:29 pm
lol nic! i can rely on you to write in such a way that you cheer up my day – lol!! but it does sound dreadful! [well, the attitude and group – though i am def guilty of saying good sharing to bb, as it is such a miracle moment if she does it without total strop!!] i would enjoy threshing/winnowing and breadmaking, so if you organised an outing with enough notice… [ot gardening, as really, i can do that. maybe oil paiting, as i can’t do that! or making potions and lotions with herbs would be fun…]
Comment by HelenHaricot — 21 April 2010 @ 10:37 pm
Alison – history is being split ks2 and ks3 and as the oldest child is 14 I can sympathise as if I were the parent of a 14 yo I wouldn’t want a 9yo in same group. And I believe C is mid ks2.
However, most will be 11/12 in that older group. And C will be nearly 10. One older child at least has been told she has choice (as attention span limited anyway) and is opting for younger group. Other than Rubes and Nat, the other younger children are all “noisy” ones that can be disruptive. We will just wait and see. I don’t know whether we’ll be en familling or not yet next academic year so am trying to relax about it but C is not happy. Hope her fears won’t be realised.
Comment by Michelle — 22 April 2010 @ 10:47 am