One word? When seven would do…

Davies and his dragon (will get the St George one next time) and Tarly in her totsandtoddlers Dora outfit. She looked a-Dora-ble in it 🙂
Taken with our old and ancient first digital camera which felt like a brick and probably has some sort of collectable value on ebay now!
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Loads more Dr Seuss here today – this morning I re-read the treasury load to them and we have been to the library (and the bookshop, shh!) to get some more to keep up going. They appeal to all three of us so are well worth going overboard with IMO! Infact after only two readings of Green Eggs and Ham Davies is already able to recite quite a bit of it so I’m impressed 🙂

Another bad night with smallest Goddard last night – grr! I really thought we would have broken the back of this by now, we’ve been at this new routine for at least 2 weeks and although she no longer is in our bed (which is nice) she seems to be routinely awake for at least 2 hours during the middle of the night now 🙁 . She stays in her bed, but is full of beans and wide awake. We either sit next to her bed on the floor (me with my laptop if it’s my turn 🙂 ) or in the lounge going back in to her room if she calls. TBH I don’t think she is really fussed whether we are there or not (although she is very insistant that it is me who comes to her NOT YOU DADDY!) and don’t really know what to do as phase two. It would be impossible to keep her up later in the evening as she is asleep on her feet by 7 at the latest, and even a daytime nap with a later bedtime seems to make no difference. Guess we just have a non sleeper who we will need to be non-sleeping with until she is old enough to entertain herself by reading in the middle of the night or something 🙁 Still I guess it is still a better situation to have one parent up with her instead of both parents and potentially Davies too disturbed by her in our bed.

Whilst up with her I did some pondering on behaviour and stuff. I am still convinced that for us a fairly autonomous approach is going to pan our best, but I am starting to think that perhaps a little more structure to each day would help. On the days that we have stuff arranged we seem to function better than on the ‘see where the wind blows us’ type days. My plan (which I will work on more in the middle of tonight) is to be a bit more directorial about what they are playing – either by putting out a planned selection of toys or engaging them in a specific activity or challenge. The Dr Seuss lends itself well to a few spin off activities – in a FIAR type way so maybe me choosing a book to read to them each morning then setting them a play type challenge related to it would work – yes need to think more on this as as I type I am thinking of lots of ideas which I need to get written down properly – more on that later then… (and of course it justifies buying books this morning too 🙂 )

Today has already been a calmer one as I spent about half an hour reading to them before we went out so they are not feeling attention starved. Davies has been getting more and more boisterous of late. I feel he has enough going on extra-curricularly to keep him going and really don’t want to run the risk of putting on too much – he is loving TT1 and TT2, we do soft play once a week and I am quite happy for them to have their mad half hours running around the house, or dancing to Tiny Pop turned up really loud. But he does seem to be suffering ‘Boy syndrome’ where he feels the need to call me ‘silly’, be mean to Tarly for no apparant reason, be unable to be quiet and stand still even when the situation really calls for him to do and he knows it, and he is just getting a bit well silly really. My Dad is of the firm belief that he needs to be letting off steam and playing with other boys and while I am not at all sure about this being a boy thing or particularly happy to pander to it if it is I would welcome any pearls of wisdom… His games are quite destructive and violent although he does recognise them as games and pretend and is very loving and affectionate to everyone I just wonder whether he is lacking the right environment to get such things out of his system?

So I am hopeful that the idea of a bit of structure will either calm him down or make it blatantly apparant that he needs something he is not getting and then try to find out what that is. Also Scarlett really benefits from some of the quiet time that doing something structured can offer. We sat looking at books together yesterday and I was again amazed at how big her vocabulary is – she could correctly identify stuff like running, jumping, eating, drinking, crying from some of the pictures in the books, was excellent at opposites and is slowly catching up to Davies’ level in many things (which I guess is inevitable, not worrying from my point of view about him as I think that between 3 & 5 there does not seem to be much obvious difference in many milestones – then suddenly when stuff like reading and writing kicks in the gulf opens up again, but once basic spoken communication starts in earnest – which it has with Tarly – it seems like small steps again for a while). I am thinking that this would also benefit me in having some time to get on with some work in a set timeframe – I can easily sit with them using my laptop while they do something engaging. As I work better myself under pressure knowing that I have until they complete x might spur me on a bit too.

Also at the library I explained that I really had turned the house upside down looking for the one last lost book and could not find it. They had another look there in the library then I had to speak to the senior librarian who after pushing some buttons on her computer (very reminscent of that sketch in Little Britain with the building society worked who then says ‘computer says no’ and coughs in their faces!) that as it was an old and tatty book (it was!) they would mark it as missing from the library and take it off Scarlett’s card – the relief! 🙂

Also nipped in Woolworths while we were in Lancing and they had a few decent special offers it would have seemed rude not to take advantage of 🙂 Buy one get one half price on their dressing up clothes – and just in were St George style knights and excellent dragons. So as both were only a tenner each anyway that was two more really good costumes for the dressing up box for just £15 🙂 Also plan to do something round them – planning a St Georges Day type information imparting session (see how I avoided the word lesson there!) – should probably do something on St Patricks too, but may have left it too late to do more than a cursory nod to that – guess we could all wear green on Thursday 🙂 and I know Ady is planning on drinking Guinness 🙂

Also in their sale was Polly Pocket at half price. Now I do have something of an aversion to Barbie and co but Karen’s LC has quite a lot of PP stuff and both kids were really into it when we stayed overnight there – particularly Scarlett who really likes little fiddly things to keep her fingers busy. Sure enough she remembered that ‘LC has this’ and has been playing with it and chattering away to the ‘girl’ about ‘wear this today’ ‘orange trousers’ and so on 🙂

Davies is playing a variety of games – he started with the megabloks first thing and built Humpty Dumpty and a rhino (not at all sure the two were linked, or if so how?) and then moved onto some game with his toy cars. He then built a small town with the megabloks and when Bob the Builder came on TV he went and got all his Bob toys (we’ve got Scoop, Muck and Dizzy and Roly too, Lofty and Wendy join the crew, Bob, Spud and Pilchard as well.), turned the town into Bob’s building yard and began playing that instead.

Right, off to peruse the book case for books on festivals and occassions, may be back with some planning later…

I shook my sillies out 🙂

After the last entry I went into the lounge with the express intention of ending the day on a high note – and I pulled it off 🙂

Davies was creating a ‘Dora world’ (his words) using various bits of construction paper, tissue paper and so on while Tarly and I had a mammoth book reading session. Davies was listening and joining in with the books which he was shocked to realise he remembered being read to him when he was that age (lift the flap board book types), then I got out the Dr Seuss treasury that came in the last Book People order. I seem to only vaguely recall reading Cat in the hat when I was a child and I have never read any to the kids but they were both enthralled by it and I read all five ‘books’ within the books to them. Towards the end I was leaving out some of the words for them to fill in which was nice. I do really enjoy reading aloud, particularly when the reading is in verse or has a nice rhythm to it.

Then, total shock – I had bought up Asda’s entire range of balanced cardboard ready meals for kids on the basis that I would be less emotionally involved in them eating or not eating stuff and if I discovered something they liked I would then make it for them myself. I cooked some garlic bread to go with it and dished up pasta twists with tuna, chopped tomatoes and cheesy sauce. Scarlett flatly refused to even have the bowl on her table but Davies, once persuaded to try it pronounced it ‘deeee-licious’ and proceeded to eat the lot 🙂 🙂 🙂 So pleased on so many levels – better food, the fact he tried it, the fact that having tried it he liked it which will encourage him to try stuff again and that I had anticipated him being the harder of the two to persuade into variety and better food. Baby steps, certainly, but in the right direction – Jamie would be proud 🙂

And that was that. Surprised Ady by voluntarily cooking dinner for the second night running – the idea is that we take it in turns but he invariably cooks more often than me. Had a chat about the whole Kessingland thing and feel a bit better about it all, aided by Joyce and Karen and a couple of others going alone aswell.

Tomorrow I am going to sort out a proper job list for myself of all the things I have committed to do for various people and start getting some of them done. I know that will make me feel better.

Also just got the feedback on the last assignment of my first half of my course – and it was ‘an excellent pass’ so I’m dead chuffed about that too 🙂

About to go and turn the day around by doing something constructive and nice with the children. But before I do let me get off my chest the grr moments of the day so I can be a positive and happy wife and mother for the duration of the day 🙂

Had another truly crap nights sleep last night – Scarlett woke at 10pm while I was watching catch up on E4 of Desperate Housewives – seem to have totally missed at least one episode somehow – must get back on track on Wednesday :-). I went to bed at 11 and Ady came to wake me at 12.30am. I sat with her for an hour and a half until 2am reading blogs on my laptop and commenting on odd ones here and there. Then could not get back to sleep for ages (bizarrely thinking about my list of people I would have a free pass for if ever I met them IRL!) before getting up again before 7am as both kids were already up and about and Ady was leaving for work. 🙁 So am in a semi-fog today anyway with a whole ‘I really can’t be arsed’ attitude to pretty much everything.

Had to get some food shopping so we went over to Asda (Davies’ choice) where they were both irritating rather than badly behaved but as I had picked an unsteerable trolley, Scarlett wanted to hug me the whole time and Davies (who sits in the main bit of the trolley for his own protection as he does not look where he is walking and is always getting in the way of other shoppers and will be lucky to see his fifth birthday due to risk of serious trolley related injuries) kept standing up and poking her 🙁

Seemed to take forever to buy not a lot (expensive not a lot too by the total!) and then just as we were about to load it into our car I spied some friends walking towards us across the carpark. I was dressed in my scruffiest, don’t usually leave the house in clothes, hair unbrushed, minimal make up, huge under eye bags, desperate for a wee and with two children who were DEMANDING their sweets at high volume. In complete constrast, of course, Julia looked stunning – she’s lost weight, had her hair all streaky and choppy cut, was wearing flattering and high fashion clothes and accompanied by her very very attractive husband (I saw very very attractive cos he is – totally not my type, and very aware of his own attractiveness and cocky with it). We stopped and chatted, exchanged phone numbers, did the brief HE chat (when does Davies start school? Oh he wouldn’t start til September (not lying but also not telling the truth either, invaluable for those times when you really can’t be doing with the whole conversation!) which school (bugger, forgot they live near enough to have their daughter at the school he probably would go to) erm, well actually he’s not going, I’m going to HE them. Cue is that legal? How do you know what to teach etc etc etc) before I chucked the kids and the shopping in the car, drove home bouncing in my seat and dashed in to the loo as soon as we got home. Well after seeing the postman with two parcels for me!

We listened to Baroque for Babies on the way – again a real hit with both of them. Scarlett likes to bounce around doing car seat dancing and Davies likes to know what the song is called, tell me what sort of emotion he feels from listening to it and try to identify some of the instruments. Good buy those cds 🙂

The parcels were a bundle from Jules including the Dora outfit and some pjs for Tarly. Sadly she had just woken up from a five minute sleep in the car and was in a very cross frame of mind so not overly appreciative of it – will photo her in it tomorrow. The other one was the last bit of an amazon order and was this book bought to make up the delivery to get free p&p and tie in with his questions about evolution. It is actually excellent and has already been read to them once.

Put the shopping away, did lunch and have randomly shouted at them, tried to read and play with them but got annoyed with them for not sitting still or listening and come to hide in here! Have also spent time getting very pissed off with my own lack of knowledge and ability on all things techie – helped loads by Jax in her usual patient, unpatronising way (thanks again 😉 ) but so frustrating to have to ask for help at every stage and be literally spoonfed each bit of it.

Have also been taking phonecalls from Miranda to whom I emailed across a four week plan of what I propose to do for my money this month, she has approved and has been trying to set me up an email address for her business. So more internet related angst going on there 🙁

Right, enough wallowing! Off to gather those children onto my knee and read some stories to them. May or may not be back later 🙂

he’s been reading a while anyway 😉 Just as well I don’t often say anything negative about him eh?!

An OK day today – after the 2 hour middle of the night getting Scarlett to sleep / monoblogue I slept in ’til nearly 10am and was woken with tea and bacon butties 🙂

We debated what to do today for a bit and ended up going into Worthing town centre. The plan was for a walk along the prom, along the pier, early tea at McDs for the kids and maybe a wander round the shops. The walk along the beach bit was fine – Davies walked along with Ady and Scarlett and I lagged behind a bit. She is fascinated with stones anyway so the concept of the pebble beach at Worthing had her in raptures. I was laughing my head off by the time we caught up with Ady and Davies as she walked along a beach made entirely of stones, then every few steps stopped, gasped, bent down and selected a stone with careful and considered precision, proclaimed ‘wow stone, look Mummy’ showed me, then walked a few more steps before dropping that one and begining again 🙂

Davies was behaving badly again today and finally lost his McDonalds by jumping in a puddle despite having been told not to. He is really playing up at the moment which is somehow harder to deal with in such a previously easy and well behaved child 🙁 It seemed like he didn’t really care but Mum and Dad arrived just after he went to bed and when they went up to say goodnight he told Dad that he had lost his McDonalds because he had been naughty so perhaps it did sink in….

We went in and out a few shops after deciding the pier was way too cold and blowy to do more than walk up one side and down the other stopping to peer at the sea below through the cracks. The kids were both playing up by not walking nicely alongside us, ‘I want’ – ing at everything in every shop so after about an hour we called time on the whole exercise and went home to eat chocolate cake and watch Bedknobs and Broomsticks. I made some playdough which they played with infront of the TV and that kept them occupied for the afternoon in a peaceful and calm manner 🙂 We listened to Mozart again in the car which they both la-ed along to which was nice. Ady and I managed to have some chatting time while they were playing and I presented him with my blog on my laptop only to be told he had been reading for a while actually 🙂 And he had read all the comments from yesterdays posts on email before I got up this morning 😀

Davies made some Zoombinis using his playdough and the ELC crazy creatures – I do have photos which I will blog tomorrow, but they were very accurate and impressive, and he then spent ages recreating some of the Zoombini challenged including the allergic cliffs which he hates on the computer but rigged so he got across them in his recreation game 🙂 Funny how much you think goes right over their heads only to realise later how much it actually sank in.

We did one and a half lessons from 100el tonight and considering it is a good three weeks since we did any he did very well.

Mum and Dad arrived while I was in the bath and only stayed for an hour or so – both very excited about their trip which will do them the world of good on many levels. Mum was hilarious talking about them travelling business class – they did that on both their previous trips so it is nothing new, and unlikely to impress either me or Ady but she does like to ensure everyone knows about it 🙂

And that was probably about it for today really – a better one than yesterday. I booked a static for MP Kessingland camp which I am equally excited and nervous about – me and Ady are not so good at being apart so although we have a test run at HESFes I am still a bit twitchy about the idea of deliberately booking nights away from each other.

The main reason why I blogged about the Ady thing – I have been saying to him for a while, and more so since Melrose, that he should get in on the whole blogging thing. Not necessarily by posting but certainly by reading them.

So if you make it here Babe, welcome & perhaps this will start to make sense 🙂

I think this was a going to be a bit of a round in circles type conversation really – part of it was me saying he does not ‘get’ what I am trying to do either with the kids HE or with my own life goals and balance, and part of it was him asking how he was supposed to when I spend all my time blogging about it instead of telling him.

The thing is, I so don’t want to be one of those wives who bores their husband rigid with every single detail of their day – aside from anything else it would be boring for me to go over it again – as we all know I am the queen of the monologue – monoblog hey new word phrase for me ‘monoblogue’ 🙂 which does not sit well with a real life conversation.

But perhaps I have neglected to tell a little too much. Maybe I do a bit too much of my musing and working through stuff here and not quite enough with Ady. He is 100% supportive, behind me and in agreement with HE. He and I share opinions on why it will be the best thing for the children – and for us as a family. I just don’t think he has grasped quite how it is going to work. I don’t think he is aware (and I guess why would he be if I don’t tell him) that our week is a carefully constructed range of stuff meticulously planned by me to meet as many of mine and the childrens’ needs as possible.

To the casual observer – and even the husband who comes home after a long day at work and asks what we have done today I am far more likley to summarise (see Chris, I can do it 😉 with ‘went food shopping, had lunch, kids played up, I shouted, Davies read a sentence’ which is possibly more about getting my needs met in terms of an ‘oh darling, have a cuddle’ than about feeding back what happened educationally. I am more likely to blog about the fact that during that food shopping trip we spent 15 minutes in the fruit and veg section with Davies and Scarlett naming as many different types as they could.

So, Ade, if you get here, this is how our weeks are arranged:
Monday – food shopping – used as an educational opportunity from the planning and discussion about which supermarket to go to and the benefits and drawbacks of each; discussion and negotition about whether Davies will sit in the trolley or walk, persuading Scarlett to sit in the trolley, listening to some stimulating music in the car there and back, talking about what we are buying, what the other products are, deaing with requests from the kids for different foods, talking about stuff like why they shouldn’t touch the raw meat, why the peas are frozen, why it is so important to pack the bags correctly and so on 😉
Monday afternoon – schooled friends come over after school for playtime and communcal fish finger and smiley face eating / chucking about – chance for kids to eat with other kids which they miss out on by not being schooled, chance for them to see how school effects kids and talk to them about their different sort of day to their own, chance to play and socialise and interact etc.

Tuesday – our nothing planned day. Often a day for going to the library, round the shops, doing other errands or staying in and doing not a lot. Again always something with educational value happening though.

Wednesday – our local Home Ed group. Set up with the kids future as HE children in mind on my part. Also gives me a chance to mix with other HE parents IRL.

Thursday – meet up with Julie and the twins so covers socialisation and family time at once. Usually at soft play venue so allows kids to have some exercise, meet and make friends with other children, test and challenge themselves on the play equipment. Usually involves having lunch out so again eating in company, choosing from a menu and so on.

Friday – TT1 TT2 – both structured, organised groups helping to deal with socialising, PE, music and movement, taking turns, being with a larger group, being part of a team and so on.

Actually got bored myself with that, hence it tailed off a bit but you get the idea. It is not all random and slapdash. It is the end result of me analysing, planning and working on getting the balance right and providing as many opportunities for autonomy to happen as possible. It strikes the balance between boring the kids with mundane day to day crap and some fun kiddy orientated stuff, it exposes them to a range of other children in small and large groups, it covers plenty of stimulating possibilities for spin offs and is constantly being monitored by me to ensure it is still appropriate and worthwhile for all 3 of us.

In the background I am working on my online learning course, trying to make a real go of the local group, blogging 🙂 , starting the prep work of being an EO Local Contact shared with 2 other people, working on at least 2 business ideas, chatting with friends and also still trying to be me.

It is now 4.20am, I am up cos Scarlett was awake, she has now been asleep for about 15 minutes but if I hadn’t blogged this it would still be spinning in my head. I will now go back to sleep and hopefully this post will make sense in the morning 🙂

Hmmm.

A mixed bag really, so lets start with the ranty whingey stuff shall we?

First of all a post or a thread really on a list I am on (and expect most of you are too) which just really fucked me off. It was a whole I am leaving now and will not be coming back due to all these reasons type thing. Maybe I read it wrong, maybe I just have little or no patience for these things and that is why I have read every reply but managed to stop myself from posting anything. BUT I am first of all convinced that the person who posted it has left not only that list at least once before but also at least one other list I am on – for a variety of ‘oh poor me, I have to go, don’t try and stop me, I really am going now, I am’ type reasons. It just so reminds me of several dramatic scene stealing people I know and really irrritates me. If you are going then bloody go quietly and shut the door on your way out!!! Also stop putting your needs on other people and take some responsibility for them yourself. And frankly I could be way off here and could not be bothered to check whether I am right or not but I don’t recall seeing that posted replying to loads of other people’s posts simpering, praising, showing interest or offering help and support so why should everyone else run around and do the same thing eh? EH!? EH! Like I said, probably best I kept that one for here and not anywhere else really! 🙂

Ady and I have also had a falling out today – nearly 2 weeks ago I printed off all the stuff I blogged recently about my planned HE approach and asked him to read it and then we could talk about it. He had not read it, despite several promptings and when I tackled him about it (mid rant about something else) said that it would have been better if I’d spoken to him about it instead of handing it to him as a sheaf of papers – as he doesn’t hand me a memo about his day when he gets home and expect me to read it. Good point, well made. BUT as I said it was not for my benefit – it was something I had put a fair bit of thought into wrt our kids’ future and as such I thought it to be a good starting point for debate and discussion. He did read it and his only comment was that if someone came along and interviewed me how would I demonstrate that I would stick with it as I don’t tend to stick with stuff generally!!!!

In his defense this is true to a point – I have never stayed in one job for more than about 18 months, but each new job was a move upwards, since having the kids I have come up with at least 10 millionaire making schemes for stay at home careers, started them with varying levels of enthusiasm and followed through with none of them. BUT this is not one of my fads, this is not something I am likely to tire of and decide not to bother anymore. There is this perception of me within my family – which has grown to include Ady that I am confident enough to withstand any critcism levelled at me, take it on the chin and deal with it – which is true to a point, but I think that it does require a bit of ‘well done, you are excellent at that’ to balance it. I am quite capable of trumpet blowing on my own behalf and that is more important imho than the approval or praise of others, however it is still nice to hear.

This then moved onto what I know is the concern of everyone who knows me well and has heard me say for years that I was never going to have children and was not maternal. How can it be when I moan about the kids driving me mad all day and he comes home to a house of three pissed off with each other people ready for some serious time off from each other by about Thursday each week that we are going to manage without them being packed off to school asap? Answered two ways really 1) that last few hours of the day is crap. if they were at school then that is all i would have with them and the scene at the end of a long day is not reflective or representational of the whole day 2) frustrations with the kids would still exist whether or not I HE them – infact that is a totally seperate issue and far more to do with me and early years age children than my ability to be a sucessful HEers 3) he still does not really grasp where I am coming from with my whole approach to HE – which is not so surprising given that it has taken me two years to come to this approach and manage to articulate it at all, let alone manage to explain it to someone who not only does not spend all day every day with small children and is still totally entrenched in the school mentality and keeps referring to my role as ‘teacher’. Think we made some headway with that one in the end.

Finally we had the patented Clarke discussion about me spending too much time plugged in and not enough time talking – I do believe he won’t want to be talking again for a while given the level of tears, defensive point making and general stroppiness I have exhibited but we’ll see.

So that was that..

Some good stuff then? First thing Davies and Ady did some gardening and Scarlett and I did some baking (triple chocolate cakes) which necessitated a trip round the shop for chocolate. Scarlett happened to be playing with a magnifying glass so she brought it with us 🙂 We then looked at pretty much everything along the way, stopped to listen to stuff ‘I hear birds Mummy’ and did the sort of chatting you can only do with a 2 year old 🙂 On the way back we did a variety of different walks including giant steps, baby steps, hopping, jumping, not walking on the cracks and going faster and slower. Very nice to spend some time alone with her, I forget how exciting that age can be in terms of discovery, awe and wonder at everything around.

Cakes cooked, Davies came in just in time to lick the bowl clean :-), I made cheese toasties for lunch and then Chris and Julie and the twins arrived. They stayed for a couple of hours. After they left and we had our discussions I cut Davies’ hair and Ady bathed the kids.

We watched some old home videos tonight – we have a massive box of them and three were unlabelled – they were all around the time of Tarly’s birth – she is currently pretty much the exact age that Davies was when she was born so it was very odd to see Davies at the age that she is now and compare how different and similar they are. His speech was far better than I had remembered – we have been thinking that Tarly is way more advanced than he had been but actually they are about level. He comes across as far more grown up than she is and that prompted speculation as to whether it is easier or harder to be a sibling goingf through toddlerhood…

No plans for tomorrow as yet – a few ideas been tossed around of what we could do but none decided, will probably end up seeing Mum and Dad as they go off for three weeks holiday next Saturday (Thailand, Hong Kong and Dubai) over Easter.

So calm restored, stressed unstressed and tears wiped away. Tomorrow will be better and we will both try harder to communicate more about stuff that pisses us off or is important.

TT1 – same as usual, pretty good, fairly unorganised but kids enjoyed it just the same. They have started a monthly newsletter which announces the splitting of the group into age bands – 0-2.5years and 2.5-5 years. Which obviously would be an issue if they had not told me today that they feel Scarlett is better suited to the older group despite being a few months adrift of 2.5 yet. Not sure if that is cos they know it would pose a problem to split the two of them, or if I should be ashamed that she would obviously be disruptive with the younger ones or just to be proud of my advanced child 🙂 Whatever, it would not work if I had to split them so I’m glad, and if it means they get to be loud, play rougher games and I don’t have to keep shrieking ‘mind the babies’ at them when they play ‘ready steady chase round the room screaming’ then I’m happy 🙂 Not sure who else out of the group will be over 2.5 tbh – infact a quick scan round the room today revealed at most one other candidate, so we either get the place to ourselves next week or we all get the chance to meet some new friends 🙂

TT2 was also good – we were late due to this going on in the building opposite and there being nowhere to park for emergency services vehicles and police taping off the area. So Davies had to run in as the session had already started – which he did quite happily 🙂 Scarlett and I did a Dora puzzle, read two Dora books and one on creepy crawlies then went in to watch the end of Davies’ session. She also did a bit of running around and fell over. She allowed me to cuddle her but amusingly cried for Davies – some half an hour later when he finished his TT2 and came over with his sticker she told him all about it, he kissed her hurt finger better and have her a cuddle, elicting ‘awws’ from all around 🙂

Both of them behaved really badly when we got home – but tbh I think it was me and Ady shouting at them while trying to do other things that was at fault rather than them 🙁 They did enjoy a very happy half hour playing with their bubble machine which I bought a while back (after seeing Karen’s at Melrose and the kids loved the one at TT1).

Davies had another maths breakthrough today – he was playing with some wooden numbers with pegs (can’t find a link – basically 20cm high wooden die cut numbers 0-9 with the relevant number of removable pegs on each) we got from someone on MP ages ago. He brought in 0, 6, 7 & 9 and managed to put them in order, then brought in the rest and fitted them in the right places 🙂 🙂 🙂 Then we put the 1 and the 0 together to make 10, moving up to 20 and then up to 29 – he really seemed to grasp the concept of that so must, must, must do more and follow it up. It was time to go to TT2 so we couldn’t do anything further at that point.

We have been listening to this in the car for the last couple of days and Scarlett totally loves it (although track 2 sends her to sleep – note for next retail splurge a cd player for her room to be used during those 2am wake up calls! Ooh forgot to mention she slept through again last night 🙂 ) and Davies is enjoying deciding what emotion the music triggers in him and what instruments are playing. I have a couple of charity shop kids guides to instruments books which I really must dig out and look at with him too. Grr even our autonomous approach is requiring me to get off my arse 😉

Think that’s about it – and I am on very full glass number 3 of wine so although I am sure they was stacks more I had full intentions of blogging in the interests of me spending some time with Ady, Chris getting back to his life and me airing my drunken silliness in the privacy of my own home as opposed to the relative privacy of my passworded blog I will bid you all goodnight. Goodnight xxx

Prompted by dual incidents of us both reading the same magazine article about near death experiences and me singing the theme tune from Antiques Roadshow (don’t ask!) we have been discussing what would be a ‘fun’ song to have at your funeral.
We both have a list of songs we would like cos they mean something, songs we have heard at other funerals and have been particularly poignant or really meant something about the person who’s life we are mourning the passing of and so on.

But what would just be a bit of a laugh?

Another one bites the dust – Queen
The drum bit for the cliffhanger at the end of Eastenders

…

A pretty good day today – see how much of a better mother I am when I get a bit of time off from it!

Went to soft play and met up with Julie and the twins. Davies and Scarlett had a great time running around and playing. Davies joined in with the running around of a couple of similar aged boys there which was nice to see. Scarlett had a two year old moment but seemed to get over it pretty quick and we had lunch there which both children behaved impecably during (no dancing on tables or anything 😉 ).

We came home via the local cheapy shop outlet place and I picked up a couple of bits including a measuring game which has a tape measure, a map and a card with lots of questions on it asking how far certain things are away from each other etc – not bad for a quid! Also got a pattern kit with 40 odd coloured plastic shapes and some cards to place them on to make patterns which Scarlett played with for ages very happily.

Davies was not really sure what he wanted to do – he asked for geomags, zoombinis and various dvds, but mostly he wanted cuddles. He did play zoombinis for about an hour or so and finally seemed to grasp the concept of the logic puzzles. I did them with him by prompting him but he really was working at reasoning and elimination so I felt that was a bit of a breakthrough. We have not done any 100 EL for a week or so and I had intended to pick them back up tonight but as he ended up falling asleep in my arms infront of the tv we never did. He has been watching class TV each morning though and is starting to talk about sounds and letters so although I do want to proceed with it I am not too worried about not keeping up with the reading. Its so nice to have the numbers and maths stuff finally coming together. I also ordered a couple of the other maths type games Alison recommended (yes please to borrowing Maths Blaster though, they didn’t have that available).

Meanwhile Tarly was doing some drawing and said she’d draw me. No real shapes as such but she did pick out orange and scribbled saying that was ‘Mummy’s hair’ then pink for my top (correct) and blue for my trousers (also correct) so that was quite impressive 🙂

They have both been not themselves most of this week and I have been waiting to see whether they were infact going down with something or just being horrid and it would seem they both have some sort of lurgy. Snotty noses, coughs and a slight temperature 🙁 I gave them both medicine before bedtime and they both fell asleep in my arms infront of the TV (Ady late home from work as he had a big important day – which went very well 🙂 ).

Tomorrow is TT1 and TT2 day so another busy one, and I have a big long job list of stuff I really should be doing too.

Otherwise known as Nic’s Big Day Out in The Smoke!

Well it went very well actually, but that would be a very unsufficient description of a whole 8 hours away from home – after all this is my blog you are reading and I’m guessing you expect a bit more than a sentence or two eh?

Caught the 11.08 train, having walked into Lancing leaving children in the tender and loving care of their grandad. For once they were both quite happy to be left and Davies was playing with his Peter Pan island while Tarly was happily installed on Grandad’s lap with a big pile of books beside them ready to read. I realised within about 100 steps that wearing my heeled boots was probably an error but had no time to go back and change so clip-clopped along regardless. It struck me walking through the alleyways (you remember the skanky ones where Tarly fell last week!) that I felt very vulnerable without the children – funny how I use them as a sort of suit of armour. I am so rarely without them that I actually felt almost naked without them. Okay so I also felt a bit carefree and reckless too, but it was odd to walk at grown up pace, have no one to say ‘mind that dog poo’ to and some headspace to think. Which of course I used to dream up weird and wonderful worries about being all alone walking through alleyways and kept looking back over my shoulder to ensure I was not being followed by a shadowy figure in a raincoat.

I am not sure whether being a woman walking alone in broad daylight makes you more or less likely to be attacked than a woman with a small child in a pushchair and another walking alongside her. I would imagine you are slightly more vulnerable alone somehow – for one thing you do not have the opportunity to demonstrate that you are a woman not to be messed with by the way you are talking to and being assertive with your children. Like it or not I am defined to strangers by the way I interact with the kids. Or perhaps the idea of an attack one get two free type deal would appeal more to your average broad daylight alley attack weirdo – who knows?!

Of course having come out the other side of the skanky alleyway intact with bag, clothing and shreads of sanity – not to mention the beginning of a blister from the heeled boots I imediately transfered my paranoia to ‘something happening to me on the train’ type dread. Trains do tend to attract weirdos though don’t they. And launderettes! (thats launderettes also attracting weirdos, not trains attracting launderettes!).

It was one of the nice shiny new trains which always puzzles me – every time I have been to London (yes all four of them in the last few months) we have caught a non-rush hour train up there and it has been hi-tech and shiny new. Every train home again during rush hour has been of the skanky old, fifteen types of urine traces secreted within the lurid blue seat covers variety. Dad believes this is cos they save the newer ones for during the day when they are less likely to get all icky! So I chose a seat, made some notes in my new notebook with my new pen and then got bored of that and settled down to read my book and eavesdrop on the conversation of a couple of blokes sitting a few seats down.

One bloke – quite Pete Waterman-esque in appearance without the northern accent, but wearing a black polo neck under his suit so clearly a creative type was already sitting down when I got on, and another bloke came on at the station after me and they knew each other from years ago. Very funny listening to them as one clearly remembered the others’ name while the other one didn’t, then the Pete Waterman one who was doing most of the talking – loudly and infact inviting me to eavesdrop really got asked what he did for a living in that ‘and you do…..?’ way which suggests you do know and just want to check instead of admitting ‘I would have walked past you if you hadn’t called me over, I can’t remember your name and I’m buggered if I know what you do for a living’ type way. And Pete Waterman bloke was a record producer!! Well that’s what he said anyway but I began to have doubts when I realised he was travelling to London on the train not in a chauffeur driven tinted windowed car, and he wasn’t even in first class! Then shortly after the other bloke got off the train (conversation got all boring after that as they spent the next 20 minutes talking about people they might mutually know and what they were doing now ‘remember Sarah? she’s still there’ ‘really? James left though didn’t he’) his mobile rang and his ringtone was ‘eye of the tiger’. Record producer hah!?

So I read some more of my book and then this very odd chap came and stood beside the door – I assumed, given the trains half empty state that this was because he was getting off at the next stop but after he had been standing there through the next two stops I realised that there was a horrid smell drifting through the carriage which must be coming from him, and snuck a peek at him to do him doing some odd sort of leering facial thing. Clearly either a total weirdo or high on something. Another bloke had sat in the seat infront of me and I started to convince myself that the two of them were in cahoots and making signals to each other. I was now sat in the middle of them, which I was not overly comfortable with and Pete had already gotten off by then. The final straw was bloke sitting infront of me getting some sweets out of his bag and proceeding to eat them very noisily INDEED! I packed up my book and moved!

The next carriage was much busier and I sat infront of a bloke who made three calls on his mobile – one to his wife / boyfriend / other type of life partner, one to arrange a business lunch and another to a mate – the different array of voices and language he used was amazing – clearly he was either an impressionist or living some sort of split personality type existance. I guarantee that if his life partner had overheard him on the phone to his mate she/he/they would not have recognised him as the same person they shared their life with!

Arrived at Victoria and got a cab to Peter Jones, Sloane Square where I was meeting Miranda. The cab driver did not want to talk so I sat looking out of the window feeling very small (an unusual and unfamiliar feeling to me!), very conservative and very unadventurous for never having lived in London and worn dreadlocks and smoked drugs. London always does that to me – I feel quite comfortable and at home in my day to day life but going up there makes me feel old, boring and like a suburbian housewife who has dusted the playdough from her hair, wiped the snot from her jeans and swapped heeled boots for her hush puppies in a sad little attempt to fit it! Miranda rang to say she had already arrived and was waiting when the cab pulled up.

After an awkward double cheek kiss thing – very posh is Miranda – I tend to do either massive full on hugs, or nothing! We walked across the road to a posh place for lunch. The women all wore pashminas and kitten heels (and other clothes too obviously!) and the men all wore stripey shirts and had round glasses and not much hair. I’m sure there are more balding men around now than ever before. Is it the stress of modern life, is it a genetic evolution thing (in 200 years from now all babies will be born bald and stay that way) or is it due to the contraceptive pill in our drinking water diluting mens testosterone levels and making all their masculine lion like manes of hair fall out?

The tables were all very close together which meant every one had to talk loudly to hear each other which meant that in a lull of your own conversation you picked up bits of other peoples (non deliberate eavesdropping in contrast to the very deliberate style I had indulged in on the train!). When the two blokes next to us left they actually asked us what we were meeting to discuss 🙂 I had announced as we sat down that I was feeling naked without the children and then they had obviously heard various other snatched of conversation related to pyjama parties, vibrators and home education!

The food was nice enough but expensive and small portions – which meant the wine was all the more potent of course! Miranda paid for everything and also refunded my train fare so my black cabs both ways totally a tenner was my entire expense of the day 🙂

We thrashed out all of the business stuff over lunch, I was impressed with myself on several levels. I got what I wanted in terms of money, I set the hours to work at a level which she already thinks she will want to up (I do too, but I’d rather be in demand that demanding!) and if I say so myself I really did know what I was talking about when we discussed the business side of things. It has been a long time since I sat with someone talking stuff like that and it is the sort of conversation that has to be face to face. I came up with a couple of inspired ideas which she loved and I felt all glowy and proud that after 8 months not working and fretting about stuff like whether Bob the Builder is gay and why Max and Ruby don’t have parents my brain can be turned to something with potential to make money 🙂

We then went for a walk around some shops – scary places like Petit Bateau and The Little White Company where nighties for Tarly cost 25 quid and a nice little top for her to wear in the garden was £65! Think they will stay in the pages of Junior magazine 🙂 We then walked down (bloody miles in my heeled boots!) to Harvey Nichols for a hot chocolate before I got a cab back to Victoria.

Sure enough it was a skanky old train home again which I had to stand on ’til we changed (about an hour’s stand – in the heeled boots 🙁 ) and then about 20 minutes on the next train where I got a seat. Dad picked me up from the station and I was home by about 7.30pm. I had spoken to the kids twice on the phone and Davies had waited up for me, so I read him a story, washed all the train and London grime off in a bath, we had a takeaway to thank Dad for babysitting (which he paid for! 🙂 ) and then an early night.

Off now to Fun Junction soft play to meet up with Julie and the twins. Back later 🙂

A blah sort of day really. Nothing awful, nothing amazing.

Davies did some more Zoombinis but eventually by mutual agreement he gave it up. He also went on the Cbeebies website which he does quite often and was equally unable to manage things he has done with ease before so it is clearly some hopeless helpless male testosterone related ailment he has going on at the moment as opposed to me placing unrealistic expectations on him.

Scarlett slept through ’til 5.30am – which probably still sounds horrific (and infact I didn’t get up – Ady did!) but it is such a vast improvement from where we were that I am feeling very positive about it. Next step sorting out the kids eating habits but one step at a time eh? 🙂

Went shopping this morning and got a few new clothes for me and a World Book Day book each for the kids (went to the local rough town where no one can read so the bookshop still has full stock of all titles 😉 )

And that’s about it really. Had an email this morning which gave me a readybrek glow for several reasons – it came from someone who I really think a lot of and it had a lovely sentiment and message to it too (you know who you are!) and tomorrow I am getting a few positive hits in one – a day away from the kids up to London, meeting up with Boss Lady to discuss some proper work again (which I really think had been my biggest problem over the last few months – I have never not worked for such a long period of time and I think I just need to work in some capacity to feel like I have something for me) and ooh just imagine nearly three hours of train journeys with no small children interupting me reading a book 🙂

Will miss them terribly though…

Another pretty good day here today. Scarlett woke for under an hour at around 4am – which is pretty horrid but a vast improvement on what we have been living with so I am feeling positive about the action we are taking in that respect.

Zoombinis arrived in the post from amazon this morning – very impressive I only ordered it on Friday night 🙂 I had been reading on various blogs about it and decided that as Davies has been getting into some of the educational computer games we have and I have been fretting about maths it would be a wise investment. I installed him straight on it and he spent a good couple of hours there on and off. He is definitely not himself at the moment – I am waiting for him to show other syptoms of coming down with something as he is just so irrational about things – and this was one of them. He could do quite a lot of it, but he just wanted me to sit next to him the whole time, or do it for him, or just get him past a certain level. I struggle with that really as I feel there is little value to me doing it for him only to get onto a harder level which he still won’t be able to do – and also that he gives up so easily and insists he can’t do something which frankly is really not that beyond a child as bright as he can be. Anyway having asked on list it would appear that one of the other discs is slightly less challenging so I have said we will have a go at that one tomorrow. Quite impressed with it on the whole though 🙂

Had to go to Sainsburys today also (and posted your parcel Helen – you should get it tomorrow 🙂 ) so we did that next and the kids were amazingly well behaved really. They did insist on opening and eating a dairylee lunchables thingy each as we went round which did keep them quiet but was also tweaking at my bad mother in public antenna as Jamie called them rubbish last week! Spent loads as Ady had sent me a text earlier to say he has got a bonus coming in June 🙂 (not anywhere near enough to make even a small dent in the debts so we might as well enjoy it and spent it! Thinking about Disney for later in the year – if you are going to go bust why not do it in style 😉 ). Scarlett got a Dora magazine, Davies got Mary Poppins on dvd (probably our most watched video so worth getting on dvd IMO!). Then home for more Zoombinis for Davies and some colouring for Tarly.

Finally persuaded Davies he should come off the computer as it was making him too upset so we all sat and watched Mary Poppins and ate lunch – kids then played until Mel arrived with L and L to play. The four of them played really nicely as usual (if noisily and messily!) with the boys making a train track and the girls playing with the crafty stuff. None of them ate much but they enjoyed the idea of sitting together having tea! Mel and I seemed to find more to chat about this time – it’s been a few weeks (since before Melrose) which probably helped. She asked a bit about HE and I think she sort of got a bit more of what it’s about and why I’m doing it. She said she’d thought about me the other day when L asked something about volcanos and she couldn’t answer so we talked a bit about that.

Just as they were all leaving Ady arrived home so he was able to chuck the kids in the bath while I tidied up all the debris of four kids playing. I was upstairs sorting out a puzzle which Tarly had emptied over Davies’ bedroom floor when I heard Davies screaming and came down to find he had been running around with a towel on him, tripped over it and whacked his head on the foot of the sofa. Huge purpple bruise offset by his very grey face 🙁 Ady was cuddling him while telling him off for not listening when he had told him to stop running about and Davies was choking and saying ‘I sob can’t sob stop sob crying’. On the verge of hysteria. Managed to calm him down (thought he was gonna throw up actually) and then got the kids to bed while Ady got dinner on (roast beef to make up for not having Sunday roast last night!).

Ady is working from home most of the day tomorrow, Davies wants to play the other Zoombinis, Scarlett probably plans making a mess and I have at least three areas of the house requiring urgent attention (bathroom full of toiletries clutter, Scarlett’s room become a dumping ground and the craft stuff is totally scattered around the playroom and needs putting back into some sort of order ready for doing some actual activties with instead of random scattering!) and of course preparing myself for my solo trip to London on Wednesday 🙂

And it was. Actually!

Have plenty of photos (obviously) and as the password thing seems to have cocked up flickr’s abilty to email pics to blog I will enter them into the post as I go along.

Probably the best Mothers Day gift I could have had was a decent night’s sleep and I got one 🙂 I was in bed before 10pm last night, asleep shortly afterwards and all four of us slept throught the night 🙂 🙂 🙂 under no illusions that we might have cracked Scarlett and her sleeping but nice to have the sleep anyway!

Davies woke me by leaping on the bed and kissing me whispering ‘Happy Mothers Day Mummy, I love you’ then disappearing again at about 7am. The combination of a decent nights sleep and being woken meant I didn’t go back to sleep but enjoyed lazing in bed in peace reading a book anyway. The kids had been excitedly wanting to come upstairs and give me the cards they had written yesterday

and were very proud of!

So by about 8am they were all on the bed with me offering gifts of flowers, chocolates, a goody bag, a dvd (Bridget Jones Edge of Reason) and a box of decorated fairy cakes!

We had arranged to meet Mum, Dad, Frazer and Great Granny at the restuarant at midday so as we were all up and about so early we went over to Brighton to have a walk round the marina first

The restuarant was running all sorts of fun and games in honour of Mothers Day and their 10th birthday so all the staff were in fancy dress, they were collecting money for Children in Need and they were running various competitions and face painting and so on. The kids both entered the ‘draw your mummy’ competition

and I was particularly impressed with Davies’ effort which was totally colour correct on my hair, eyes, top and skirt. He had progressed from stick people to drawing massive hands and sausage fingers and is actually quite good – I really should make more effort with letting him to arty stuff.

The food and service was absolutely excellent – typical italian food (I had spaghetti carbonara) and even the kids menu was nice food instead of crap. Scarlett drank too much of my wine and was flushed and giggly 🙂

The kids were very excited by the special guest appearance of Pudsey. They both for some reason are really attached to him despite him only really appearing once a year at Children in Need and even Tarly recognised him instantly. My Mum asked the waitress to send him over so they could see him and so over he came…

Closely followed by a newspaper photographer who spent about ten minutes getting them to pose for shots and getting Ady to sign release forms and checking he had the spelling of their names correctly written down. He came back over again later and said he was really pleased with the shots and one would definitely be in the local paper and might even make it into one of the nationals if the story was picked up (ooh!) so that made us all glowy and proud of our beautiful children 🙂

I had been poised waiting for the comments about my weight and even had a little speech planned to deflect them but they never came! The combination of dreading the things that could go wrong swiftly followed by the relief that nothing seemed to be going wrong meant the wine went down very quickly and straight to my head! But for the record here is the picture showing those four generations of females I was describing in yesterdays post

The kids took full advantage of being admired and loved by all around them and loved the general atmosphere of the place which was very busy and noisy and happy and as the music they play in there is all big band swing style they were in their element at one point standing on their chairs dancing and singing along to Moondance!
Just as we were getting ready to leave and the table had been cleared I made some comment about Scarlett being merry and dancing on the table – and erm, up she got 🙂 We let her stay up there long enough for me to pull myself together from my hysterics and Ady to get a couple of photos 🙂

I suppose I should be glad she didn’t try to take her top off 😉

We all went back to my parents house which I don’t think had been their intention (in fact I know it hadn’t – they had been anticipating coming back to ours!) for a couple of hours before coming home. Kids were both asleep by 7.30pm and we have been eating cheese toasties for tea 🙂

Davies has had a really really bad day 🙁 I genuinely think he has not been able to help himself but he has been yelled at so many times today, wound both me and Ady up and really struggled to do anything right bless him. He’s just been behaving really stupidly, doing really unthought-through stunts like throwing scissors and frankly it is probably some sort of minor miracle that all four of us are still here and largely sane!

Ady and Davies went out this morning to Tescos to join the many many other fathers and children frantically buying up flowers and trinkets such as socks, mugs and picture frames with ‘worlds best mum’ emblazoned on them. Scarlett had a lovely tantrum while they were gone which came out of quite quickly and said sorry for so that was entertaining! They got back in time for lunch and have been doing various bits and pieces in between all the being silly. Davies wrote in the card to my Mum for tomorrow so badly that we binned it – he has been able to write a recognisable version of his own name for the best part of a year now and what he produced today was frankly crap. Ady lost it with him too and took him off into another room with a big pile of paper and a pen to sit there until they nailed it. And it did work actually 🙂 So they made a replacement card which he had written in much better.

I have done a bit of reading to Scarlett, a bit of puzzles and that’s about it really. I have been working on my laptop ploughing through the second half of my online course which has suddenly leapt from easy and a bit boring to hugely challenging and interesting. The current asssessment involves getting my head round HTML and the euphoria of getting three paragraphs of text in different colours and different font sizes was a joy to achieve 🙂 I’m not at all sure whether I am giving enough to the assessments I have completed today – I have done little more than bare minimum but similarly I don’t want to go turning in pages and pages of work when a couple of lines is sufficient. Will have to wait and see what the feedback is like when it’s been marked.

I nipped out this afternoon with the intention of getting an hour or so to myself but could not really summon up the energy to do so. I ended up taking a video and book back to the library but not bothering to get anything else out, posting a few bits but not the parcel I have for Helen as the post office shuts at lunchtime and not getting anything with the World book day vouchers the kids have as the shop didn’t have the special books and I would rather let the kids choose their own if we are going to redeem them against something.

My friend Vicky appeared for ten minutes this afternoon too – have not seen her since we moved back home, prior to that the last time we saw her was at our wedding. She had a little girl last summer who I have yet to meet. She is going back to work soon and looking forward to it – her baby is booked to start the nursery attached to the local primary school and she is pretty desperate to get back to her old life I think. She said she’d ring for a proper chat soon and arrange to get together but I do think that instead of her being a mother now too bringing us closer together again it will actually only serve to give us less in common in our attitudes to the whole motherhood approach. Ah well!

And that was about it really. Tomorrow we have a big family lunch at Frankie and Bennys in Brighton. One opened near to us in Manchester and we had several very nice meals there so I am hopeful that the food will be good and the service good too the same as the one up there. Mum, Dad, Frazer and Granny are coming too – so lunch for 8. There are a myriad of things which could go horribly wrong when you add in four generations of females (one bitter old woman who has issues with her daughter’s choice of husband, her grand-daughters weight and her great grand-daughters attitude, one fighting middle age tooth and nail woman who hates her mother, tries really hard to mend bridges with her daughter and cannot find any common ground with her grand-daughter so fawns all over her grandson instead, a two year old who will be on top form with such an audience and me 🙂 ) and then the male half of the party – two son in laws both dining out with their mother in laws, my Dad who will probably make the most of the situation by winding up everyone, my brother who will sink into the background given half a chance and Davies who is either coming down with something or is undergoing a personality transplant into a candidate for ‘Brat Camp goes pre-school’. I have no expectations 🙂 But it would make a good sitcom 😉

My turn to do the night shift with Tarly so I may well be up for chatting around 2am 🙂 anybody? 🙂

And finally -incase I am not around tomorrow HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to you all – you are wonderful mothers and deserve to celebrate that well 🙂 xxx

A good day 🙂 At last!

Had done a mammoth blog but was chatting to Leandra and checked out her profile (which I urge you all to do to see the beautiful pic of her and Tony on it) and lost the lot 🙁 Nice chat though so worth it 🙂

So will try to remember as much as I can but am now far more inebriated and likely to start taking my top off and dancing on the table so do excuse me if I start won’t you!

Another crap night in the Get Scarlett Sleeping Campaign (anyone want to sponsor us? all proceeds to comic relief!) – she woke at 9.30 and I finally crawled into bed at about 2am but she stayed in her room and fuss was minimal. She has really really bad bum and bits nappy rash and did 2 dirty nappies during that time which may have been a contributing factor too. TMI? Sorry!

Out to Twinkle tots for 10am which went well again. Davies is by far the oldest and biggest and I had to pull rank with him accordingly a couple of times but they both enjoyed it so I’m glad we signed up. I didn’t really speak to any of the other mums which I know if not the point but I will make the effort next week as they seem a friendly enough bunch. Scarlett made her first ever independent friend which was so cute to watch. She and this other little girl had been eyeing each other (both dressed all in pink) up all shyly all the time and at the end when we do getting up and joining in songs like Hokey Cokey and Ring o Roses they joined hands and pranced around together – very cute and awww-worthy 🙂

We had debated whether to go home inbetween Twinkletots and Tumbletots (hence forth refered to as TT1 and TT2 in chronolgical order) or to go into town for a few bits of shopping and lunch at McDs and decided to see whether it was raining or not when we left TT1. It was not so off into town we went.

We did a bit of shopping to end my week of misery followed by medicinal spending cycle before lunching at McDs. Oh okay more details about the shopping you say? ELC for a spot of already earmarked bits – a bubble machine for better weather, a Dora puzzle for Tarly, a The Incredibles Leap pad book for Davies, a GB map puzzle to give at least a nod to the HE resources thing for me and some playdough crazy creatures to send on to the oldest French Bean offspring. Two pairs of bargain sale trousers from Dotty Ps for me (jeans and cords) and some bits from Boots for my Mum’s mothers day pressies.

McDs was my Mothers Day treat to the children. If it was not for them I would not be a mother and despite my bitch from hell impression this week I love them dearly and adore being their mother so it was lovely to just do something nice with them on my own. I could not bring myself to eat a McDonalds mind you so made do with half a chocolate muffin and a cup of tea.

We then processioned through town back to the car with the twin badges of bad motherdom of feeding her kids both crappy nutritional value food and bribery and brand recognition and indentifying junk food as a treat in the shape of Happy Meal plastic (rip off transformer for D and a my (very very) little pony for S) and two balloons on sticks which got blustered about by the wind and had to be held by me so they could wallop and bash each other with them all the way home in the back of the car!

TT2 went well for Davies again. He has made firm friends with D who is a twin. They run about in the 10 minutes or so before the session starts shouting in much the same manner as D and Barbara’s B did at Melrose. D’s twin, J is defintely special needs in some way and I think D is too, to a lesser degree. He is very very tactile with the other kids and not always in a postive gentle way. I noticed him grabbing at Davies’ top quite a bit and Davies not really being too happy about it so I called him over and quietly said that he should tell D, nicely, if he did not want him to do it and ask him to stop. A few minutes later I watched, without being able to hear as Davies put his hand on D’s arm and said something I imagine along the lines of ‘D, old chap. Could you possibly be so kind as to refrain from handling one’s apparal in such a brutish manner. It really does put one in such bad sorts!’. Well anyway, however he phrased it – it worked! D continued pulling at the other kids but seemed to look at Davies with a new found respect which Davies took full advantage of by being the one to decide whether they ran their circles in clockwise or anti clockwise direction and at what point they changed from a run to a knee skid across the floor 🙂 They were called in to start the session shortly afterwards and I noticed (from my vantage point of peeking through a crack in the door) that they had been split up into different groups. Now I know Davies is not going to school and I don’t need to give head space to the whole Bully / bullied dilema I can almost be proud of him being disruptive with his mates enough to be split up from them!

Scarlett and I did some of the puzzles I had taken with me then drifted over to where a lady was doing an Usborne books thingy. We sat together and read about 10 of the books and I noticed the lady watching me out of the corner of my eye. Eventually she said to me ‘The way you read to your daughter is so lovely’ I thanked her (very good at accepting a compliment me, after reading once as a teen in Jackie how it is an attractive trait!) and she went on to say about how I was talking to Tarly about what was in the pictures and not just reading the words to her, bringing the book alive and making it an interactive activity for Tarly instead of a passive one (my words not hers but you get the gist!). I have a real passion for books – from the earliest age and still now nothing beats the anticipation of opening the cover of a brand new book and waiting to see what adventure it is going to take you on. I love the fact that you get inside the book and go beyond the words that are written on the pages and int your own imagination. If I can convey that joy to the children then I will be a very happy Home educator!

She also commended me on my skill at reading upside down! I said I had been doing that to a group of children recently and found it really hard so she asked if I was a teacher. I explained I HE and that I had been reading at a HE group and she excitedly took my details and said she knew of at least two other local HEers who were feeling isolated and would love to be put in contact with me! 🙂

Home and Mum and Dad arrived here just ahead of Ady which was nice. Tarly played with her new puzzle, Davies played with his leappad and they both ran around lots before both falling asleep early.

Ady and I have had a chat-ette about HE and his feelings on it. He is totally behind it and committed to what we are doing and has two main concerns a) he would love to be more involved and wishes he could be and also has concerns that he is not academically strong enough to feel confident on helping the kids if they should need it and b) that he hates having to tell people about it. He believes but does not want to talk about it and justify it and explain it and answer the same bloody questions we all field every day about it all. I have printed him off the stuff I blogged recently about my plans and ideas and asked him to read it, understand it and question it. Melrose really helped to clarify it all for him and I am so glad he was able to come along. (Even if he didn’t win camp husband!)

And finally I have to confess my guilty viewing secret – I am loving Comic Relief does Fame Academy 🙂 I have never watched normal FA but I watched the last CR one and rooted for Will Mellor (obviously!) and am now equally as hooked – who is that Nick bloke then? Ady thinks he does some sort of DIY sos type show on daytime TV – is he right? If so Class TV may well be off limits 🙂

Just asked Davies if he wanted to do some of the exeter maths book – met with a complete no 🙁 He informed me that what he does want to do is play his Thomas game on the computer so that is what he is doing. It is way too easy and unchallenging for him now but he is not easily persuaded to do anything harder. Don’t quite know how to get round the maths thing – I know it is not something we need to be fretting over as yet but I need to find a way of bringing it to life more than the pages of a book. Ideas anyone?

I have just had a burst of activity and sorted out all the kitchen cupboards – they had reached the level of fullness where you stand back as you open one for fear of what might tumble out and get you 🙂 I actually chucked out very little but putting it back in a more organised fashion means they have an appearance more akin to the cupboards of Monica in Friends and less the cupboards of Waynetta Slob! Watched that Jamie’s Dinners thing last night and that has inspired me once again to try and sort out the kids’ diets a bit. They do tend to live on tinned pasta shapes, chicken nuggets, fish fingers and smiley faces – not sure where to start exactly so might dig out the kids recipe books we have and see if they can be persuaded to try anything if they have a hand in cooking it themselves. A task for next week that one.

Scarlett has been being very 2 this week (unsurprising given my cheery state 😉 ) but I feel I am handling her well as she rarely tantrums for too long and always comes and says sorry and gives cuddles afterwards. She did it this morning when Rachel was here and just took herself off to her room, yelled for a bit then came back for a cuddle. So sleeping aside so far two is not quite as bad as I had feared it might be with her 🙂

What else? Already starting to worry about the kids next week being left with my Dad for the day, infact I have decided that if what Boss Lady and I propose as regular paid work is enough to cover it I will re-register with the same agency that found us Lynda when we were in Manchester and try and source some decent, paid childcare. They operate on a pay a membership fee and they will find you a ‘primary sitter’ who you meet first and decide if they are suitable for you. If they are ever not available then they have a back up carer locally also. Then you ring the agency as and when you need childcare and they arrange it for you and bill you accordingly. Once we had been doing it a while I ended up paying the agency off and paying Lynda directly but they did all the hard work in advertising, interviewing and reference checking her etc. In an ideal world I would love to have a nearby friend or relative who is able and willing to have them for the odd day / afternoon / hour but I don’t. And if I had the option of paying someone 30 quid to come in for a few hours earlier this week so I could escape for a bit I would have happily done so, so I think it’s something we need to get sorted as back up for the future again.

And finally, someone who will remain nameless has passworded their blog and despite me emailing to ask for a password I don’t have one 🙁 wah!

It’s a funny thing how friendships really do need something in common to remain healthy. I have got a school friend who I see very occassionally and our lives are so far apart now all we seem to do is reminice about school which can only fill a finite period of time before we go our seperate ways and back to exchanging Christmas cards with annual updates on where our lives are at the time.

Rachel has been here this morning and there have been a few instances of not really having much to talk about with each other. We met at baby clinic when Davies was about a week old and saw each other weekly ’til we moved away, stayed in fairly regular contact while we were away and seemed to pick back up where we left off when we came home last year – she was pregnant and I had already had number 2 baby so we had plenty to talk about there. She had also considered HE so that was a popular topic until she made the final decision not to and E started school.

Today is the first time we’ve met up since pre Melrose – we’ve not seen E for weeks and weeks and last week he started school full time. So now she is a woman with one child in school and a 4 month old baby. I am a woman with no kids in school and a noisy, messy, attitudey toddler. For some reason we struggled to find topics which were safe – I felt like my enquiring about E and how he was finding school sounded judgemental (which it so isn’t!) and she obviously felt she couldn’t slate school or mention her worries in too much depth incase I try and ‘convert’ her to HE, and it just feels like forever ago since I had a baby and was thinking about stuff like weaning, were they about to roll over and so on – an alien and long since left behind world. Just an odd morning really – hopefully next time we meet it will click back to normal.

Davies sat and watched class TV again this morning – he does really well with the Look and Read stuff and it is reinforcing the sounds stuff we have done with 100EL. He also watched something on one of the maths programmes about green bottles hanging on the wall type subtraction and recreated it with ‘five white glue spreaders having on the oil filled radiator’ – highly educational 🙂

They have played with sticklebricks, wooden blocks, duplo and other building – y stuff this morning. Davies built a Drusillas (zoo), a pirate ship, a Captain Hook, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, a village and some other elaborate structures – all very recogniseable actually but they have been destroyed before I had a chance to take photos. He is now watching a dinosaur film on dvd – his choice – while sitting on the floor with Scarlett having a conversation about the colour of their skin. Not the greatest of films ever made but it does have some cool music and some good triumphs over evil type moral ending!

Scarlett has looked at pictures of herself as a baby, eaten the last of the Christmas chocolates (dark chocolate covered gingers!) and alternately annoyed and played with Davies in his games. And cooed and oohed and ahhed over baby A 🙂

Got a letter this morning from the church hall to say they would only charge me £28 instead of £45 for the forgotten cancellation 🙂 So glad I refrained from my anti religion rant 😉 Also arrived in the post this morning our Harry Hill tickets, which although is not until October reminds me that I do have times planned ahead with no kids 🙂 Now just need to get my Richard Herring tickets booked (the venue is not selling tickets yet although it is advertised) and I will feel as though we have a social life again!

Scarlett woke last night but Ady dealt with it and she did not leave her room. She had a bit of a tantrum about it but was not awake for too long so I am feeling more positive about life in general 🙂 Also the sun is shining 🙂 Ordered some books from Book People online too which always make me feel sunny!

And that’s about it from here. More later, probably.

This morning Ady was trying to get ready for work but Scarlett wanted to sit on his lap to drink her milk. Davies offered to give it to her and amazingly she agreed

And one of the four cousins having ten minutes playing in the bitter cold at the weekend – I had to put the kids hands in my armpits to get the blood running back into them again afterwards but they had a great time 🙂
note my hard Manchester born girlie with no hat on!