A good day – despite the heat 🙂
 
Spent the morning trying to do some hama beads for the Bead Merrily competition. Monster had started off quite fired up about doing something associated with jungles. He decided straight away to do something about rainforests – the dinosaur place we go to has a scene of a rainforest with assorted plants and animals and he is quite taken with it. Decided to set him to some research and gave him the three children’s encyclopedias and one atlas we have collected from charity shop trawls and told him to find me some pictures of rainforesty stuff. Teeny was still playing the ‘if he’s got it then I want it and I’m gonna have’ game so riled him a bit but he did find a small amount of rainforesty jungly type stuff. We decided to do a  snake so I got all the beads and boards out, allowed Teeny to just mess about with a pile and got him to start. He was really whingey and kept saying he needed me to help him. I lost it a bit and after we had established that ‘yes he could pick the beads up himself,’ and ‘yes he could then place them on the boards himself’ even he was at a loss as to how exactly he required help. He decided to make a ‘colourful’ car instead of a snake so he played with the beads for a bit, Teeny scattered beads throughout the house for a bit and then we made a game of putting them all away again.

I then decided as they were both busy muching through a large bag of grapes sat side by side on the sofa watching ‘cheeky monkeys on Pop’ to print off the numbers to go up the stairs. We have had a couple of attempts at this since seeing the idea on someones blog and deciding it was a great one. The first numbers were just too big and the second ones were a bit too cartoony as I had drawn them and let the kids colour them in, which is fine in itself but not so good for them to learn ‘standard’ numbers script. So I used comic sans wordart in bright colours, and set to laminating them. We were all sat on the hall floor, hunched over the strange sound producing laminator when Ady arrived home for lunch. He had been working locally so popped home which was lovely. I escaped with Monster round to the shop to post some letters and buy a cake for the afternoon while Teeny spent a happy fifteen minutes in the garden watering with Daddy, I then finished the numbers, cut them out and blue tacked them to the stairs while Ady made us all lunch. The laminator is truly poorly, Ady says he’s going to take it apart and look at it (like he’ some sort of real bloke with tools or something – rofl!) but I think in the interests of being real HEers we need to invest in a new one!

In retrospect I’m not sure if the numbers on the stairs are a wise and cunning plan or totally mad! Teeny has spent all afternoon on the stairs picking them off and gathering them into small piles before running off to hide the blue tack somewhere – given her history of accidents and general lack of grace on the stairs it is probably not such a clever mummy plan to give her activities to do on the stairs, however it does mean the numbers need putting back in the right places at least fourteen times an hour, which if Monster is tasked with doing will either mean he learns the numbers super quick, or I will have both children in A&E with stair related injuries!

Kerry had rung to say they wouldn’t be coming today as baby K had had her first set of jabs and had just settled to sleep so she didn’t want to wake her to come out. Which meant it was just Rachel and E. As soon as they arrived it was apparant that E was a different child! He was so much calmer, nicer to everyone, more respect for Rachel, played nicely with Monster and Teeny and was almost a joy to have in the house! He had his moments, but then so did my two and there was just a nice atmosphere for the whole afternoon. They played mainly with the dressing up stuff, taking it in turns to be Buzz, Woody, a reindeer, a wizzard and a spaceman. E got a bit rowdy towards the end and when I commented to Rachel about him being so much calmer she rolled her eyes and said ‘yeah, well he’s not been at school for over a week, what do you expect?!’ well, she said it! and there was me prepared to give full credit to Dr Chris Green and his toddler taming theories 🙂

Ady was home early enough to bath the kids while I did some prep work for the H&S training Ady is doing next week and ordered all the signage we need, really don’t want to go up north this weekend, although it will be nice to see Boss Lady and Lynda both of whom we’ll visit, but it does feel like we’ve been robbed of our weekend! So no blogging after tomorrow till Wednesday when we get back

Tomorrow we are off to a drama session in the morning with Activeo then I might take the small people to the beach in the afternoon if we are home early enough, or spend some time in the garden with the sandpit and paddling pool – we’ll see!

aaaaaand relax…
 
well a day of many grrrs! the small people played up, didn’t want to stay in and play nicely, didn’t want to go out and about. Went into town and got them a pair of sandals each – both half price. Monster’s were from Mothercare reduced to a fiver, he’s never had open toes before but the doodles are on their fourth wash and are failing fast so new summery shoes were a necessity! Teeny has such obvious strap marks from her (again much washed) doodles that it looks like she has some odd foot disorder so got her a pair of pretty sandals from Woolies reduced to £1.99 – bargain! Also got them both a half price leap pad book each – Monster chose Lion King and Teeny winnie the pooh –  and a backpack / carry case thingy for Teenys as both have been crammed into one and a couple of reduced T shirts for me too, oh and a book from the cheapy bookstore called 365 activities for kids which on first glimpse seems to have some good suggestions to fire the old imagination on crafty type stuff.

We then came home and had the visitor as detailed in the post below, then we somehow managed to muddle through until teatime. Teeny had a small tantrum as I sat them down early to tea and DeDore (Dora) wasn’t on yet – they always watch Dora while they have their tea apparantly! She got highly arsey with Bob the Builder who was quite innocently on before Dora and turned the TV off on him twice! She finally relented and started to eat once Dora started, was mopped up, jama’d, milked and asleep by 6pm. Monster took a bit longer and insisted on playing with my hair till he’d gone to sleep at about 8pm. Am now sat down halfway into a large glass of white, have blogged the photos I’ve been meaning to do since the weekend, am devastated that Super Nanny doesn’t appear to be on, and can’t believe its Thursday again already tomorrow!

Tomorrow Rachel, Kerry and offspring are coming to our house. Am trying to decide whether to lay on some stuff for the small people to do or whether to let them find their own fun – playdough is quite tempting but I don’ think it will hold their attention for long before it gets trodden into the carpet, anything  messier is totally out of the question and our garden just isn’t suitable for that many children to charge about in without serious injuried to one or other of them. The cake decorating worked well last time but the older three tend to get distracted by Teeny if they try anything too complicated so its not worth doing anything requiring too much attention. Think I might just restrict access to the playroom again and remove some of the toys or lay some out to minimise quarrels as best I can. Friday we are supposed to be going to a drama session with Activeo but I need to find out a bit more about the venue – I have a hunch it is a bit of a hike to get there and it starts at 10am but feel I should make the effort as I seem to be moany about not meeting anyone then not actually getting out there when the opportunities present themselves.

And then, can’t quite believe it but its the weekend again! 

well I’ve just given a ‘nice young man’ his horror story to tell down the pub tonight!
 
Kids have been quite horrorish today, in the house both full of energy and rushing round emptying every toy box and shouting and screaming and squabbling, but the twice we have popped out – once round to the local shop and once into town for half an hour they have both been all whingy about that too.

We have been home about an hour and they have sort of settled into playing a bit by themselves aside from the incident which has just happened…

We were sitting in the (admittedly totally chaotic, can’t find a spot of carpet for sea of toys, crap, magazines, half a made puzzle, half put away train set etc) front room when there was a knock at the door, I answered it (being elbowed out of the way as I did by both short people) to find a young, slightly nervous, spanish or french ‘lad’ wearing a too big for him Southern Electric uniform and carrying a clip board. Over the din of both kids he somehow managed to seek out the right english words to tell me that I am paying too much for my gas and electric and should sign up for the joint one – which would normally have me shutting the door in his face but as we have had all manner of odd combinations of suppliers since we moved out and three lots of tennants moved in and I still have not heard from anyone who supplies our gas it made sense to go with what he said… so then he asks if he can come in and show me the spangly presentation thing in his clipboard – in he comes, stepping over the great big pile of shoes in the hall, over the puzzle in the lounge and sits into the very hastily cleared corner of sofa next to a pile of post, magazines, estate agents details on about six hours. The kids then completely ran riot round him, clambering all over him and his clipboard, asking him questions, grabbing his pen while he tried to fill out the form, constantly trying to climb on my lap and disappearing upstairs while he used the phone to call through the details from the form. Monster came downstairs to tell me Teeny was ‘in trouble’ and had my makeup… sure enough she appeared back downstairs with a mascara wand, trailing mascara down the wallpaper as she came.

The ‘lad’ then said he had to check the meter readings, so I cleared the pile of shoes from infront of the meter cupboard, invited him to step over the wet patch where the cat had coughed up a fur ball (cleaned but not dried!), where he jotted down his readings and escaped, clearly glad to be leaving… the funniest thing is all the way through I was waiting for him to show his true colours as a serial loony who was really after the family silver, particularly when he asked for a glass of water (well they always do that don’t they, to prepare their voice for the menacing tones!), but frankly unless the poor bloke was here legitimately trying to get me to sign up for gas and electric he would clearly have done a runner at the first sign of my two loony kids!

They have both been berated for their behaviour but despite having to clean up all the make up, and wondering why the same two children who shy away from one other child at a party can be so bold to a strange man the whole incident was so funny I kept having to pinch myself to stop from laughing – I was on the brink of hysteria for the whole time he was here, and I think he probably was too….whatever small commission he earned for getting me to sign up was the hardest one he worked for today I’m sure!

a lovely summers day…

 
reminiscent of the endless, long hot six weeks summer holidays as a child we did garden and beach stuff all day long today. The children have been bathed however they are still sandy and sunkissed, everywhere is full of sand – shoes, clothes, handbags, the car….

I had a bad day yesterday for a variety of reasons – I was feeling pretty ‘got at’ from a couple of sources, the body on the train tracks disturbed me a lot (word is it was a 15 year old suicide although I can’t find any official news on it – going to Beachy Head on Sunday and then seeing that yesterday has made me feel very sad and contemplative about what life can chuck at people – and lucky to have all I do), and I had tried to do some work only to be continually dragged away from the computer by the kids and accused of ‘never playing with me anymore’ – unfair, not true but guilt provoking just the same!

Gloom and doom everywhere you looked yesterday including the terror advice leaflets reported in the press. At the dentists waiting room this morning Ady and I giggled at the summary in one of the broadsheets costing out your survival pack – it included a blanket and a tin opener – hmmm just as well we’ve already got both items in our home – we’ve saved ourselves a fortune not needing to go and buy them! As I said to Ady this leaflet will not have been knocked up and got out in a couple of days in response to a phonecall tipping them off about an attack next week – it will have taken months of research, consultation with various experts, proof reading and so on. I am inclined to believe it has been produced to meet public demand for information and a need for reassurance, although I am sure it does contain useful and relevant information too but don’t feel it is to be taken as a sign that something is about to happen. I think we are a big target for a terrorist attack and it is sensible to be informed about what to do in the event of one but life is too short to be worrying about what might happen, particularly things I would have no control over.

So drawing a firm line under the day and all its crap, including the dreadful night with Teeny who was in our bed from about 1am – at 3am I gave up and came to sleep on the sofa, at 3.30am Ady came to say he had got her to sleep and put her back into her cot so to come to bed again – I agreed, then woke back up at 6am still on the sofa to her crying again! Ady got up with her and I went back to bed for a couple of hours. Ady, bless him had been all lovely about all the crappy stuff yesterday and not only got both kids up and done all the morning tidying, breakfast etc routine he had also packed our picnic for us to take to the beach today.

First stop was the dentist for a check up on last weeks fillings then Ady headed off to work and me and the kids went off to Chris and Julie’s. I arrived to find Julie not there – still out buying picnic fayre, so had a chat with Chris while the four kids ran madly round the garden, then Julie returned then off we set. Arrived at the beach for about 11am, changed the kids into their sunsuits (really need to get a pic of Teeny next time she is in hers -its bright pink and blue and with her mad blonde hair and suntan she looks for all the world like a surfer chick who has lost her board!), handed them their fishing nets and released them! Had a great time, the kids loved digging in the sand, dredging up shrimps, crabs and little fish from the rock pools, getting totally covered in sand and Monster loved the novelty of a wee in the sea! We fought the wasps over the picnic and we would have probably stayed all day but the twins were grouchy and ready for their naps – if you thought I was routine-lady, you have not met Julie! With twins she has got her whole day and week planned to the minute which must be the only way to cope with two littlies going through all the same stuff at the same time, so at abotu 1.30pm we waved goodbye. 

My two were still geared up for outdoorsy stuff so we got home, got changed into swimming costumes and T shirts, blew up the paddling pool, took the cover off the sandpit, grabbed a couple of mags for me to read and we spent the rest of the afternoon in the garden. The kids are both looking much healthier for being outdoors for a few days, Monster has a really cute sprinkling of freckles across his nose and cheeks and Teeny is just all bronzed and blonde, they have been eating really well – and aside from last night – sleeping better.  No real plans for tomorrow – would like to get some work done if the kids allow, have some phonecalls to make and depending on the weather would be nice to spend some time outdoors too.

wouldn’t have nothing if i didn’t have you…
 
Monster is sitting playing with Bob the Builder toys and sticklebricks enthralled in some very complicated game and singing the Monsters Inc song as he plays, which reminds me of something I have been meaning to post for a bit.

Both the children have a real appreciation of music which I am trying to grow. It is all pretty basic stuff, they love listening to POP (TV music channel) and we always have music playing somewhere in the house, but their biggest thing is soundtracks to the films they watch. We have Monsters Inc, Toy Story, Peter Pan etc, and since I bought Peter and the Wolf mini classic on video they love to listen to the actual piece of music too. The soundtracks are largely instrumental with perhaps two or three songs with words, the rest being the incidental music from the film. Teeny is too small and just loves dancing along to the songs and maybe doing her own version of the singing but Monster is really into a game we play where he has to tell me what is happening in the film – he knows the films very well and is able to retell the stories along with the music. We have expanded that to talking about how music can represent feelings and how it can actually make you feel a certain way. Today we were talking about how music can make you feel happy. I have also gotten him to *play* me happy, sad, angry music before on my parents piano and on out little keyboard and he is good at getting things like volume, tempo, high or low notes to depict what mood the music is creating. The kids also like music like swing / big band and Monster often announces whether its a sad song or a happy song without even really listening to the words, just the mood of the music.

His singing is good, he is able to hold a tune well and can go quite high and low, I was in the choir (both school choir and West Sussex County Youth Choir) as a child – although I am no great singer now! and really enjoyed it I am wondering about an instrument for him or maybe some sort of music group.

can’t be botheredness has taken me over…
 
Feel very Monday morningish today. Can’t seem to get motivated to get on with stuff, think I’ll head off and make a cup of tea and a job list for the week to try and sort myself out a bit.

Out very early this morning – by about 9.30am and off to Toys R Us on the hunt for fishing nets. Having talked about getting some little fishing nets for my two and the twins for the beach tomorrow we spent all weekend trying to find some and failing – we also only have one bucket, spade etc which is bound to cause tiffs on the beach so wanted to get another set. Finally after driving all around this morning I found some in the local town centre! For a £1.00 each, although they will likely be too long handled for Teeny and the twins so might get Ady to shorten the handles later, also got another bucket and spade set, and bargain! a half price sunsuit for Teeny in Boots – so all prepared for tomorrow and just hope it doesn’t rain!

Whilst we were in Lancing about 8 police cars and ambulances went screaming past, and when we went to drive through the town over the level crossing we discovered why, the gates were down with police cars blocking the road and crowds of people looking over the walls onto the track. Not sure why I did it but there was a parking space right there so I pulled over and leapt out to have a peep too. And look away now squeamish people – there was a big lump of body on the track – not really identifiable what bit and as there were crowds looking further up and down the track I assume the rest of it was scattered all across the tracks. Got back in the car quickly and came home. On the radio they have said there was an accident and someone had died but there was no further information as yet. Horrible. I then overheard someone else talking about the hairstyle so clearly that bit was around somewhere and some teenagers saying they just hoped it was no one they knew – whether it was suicide or and accident it all puts everything into perpective doesn’t it?

Beachy Head today – but  for good reasons!
 
Another nice day again today, and all on a shoestring budget! A bad night, partially due to my single very sunburnt shoulder. Don’t know quite how it happened (well obviously I do – the very strong sunshine we were out in all day yesterday shone down on it and created bright red, very tight, very sore skin as a result, but…) as I put sun block on twice – I am very fair and quite sensible about sunscreen, but I must have missed this spot with the second application or wiped it off or something as by the time we got home last night it was glowing, throbbing and tightening. Which meant not many positions were comfotable for sleeping in – not on that side, or my back which left the other side which doesn’t feel right or my front – which was fine till Teeny woke and came into our bed at about 4am which meant as she lies inbetween us it was right next to her when she started her usual routine of sleeping on me, stroking me (quite roughly) and generally pawing at me. At about 5.30am I gave up, shouted at her and came downstairs with a pillow and blanket and went back to sleep till about 8.30am when Monster came downstairs.

Picnic packed, all present, correct and very well sunscreened off we set for Beachy Head. We parked up, grabbed the emergency use only coats from the car as every one else had coats and we hadn’t even thought about it and set off. Ady and Teeny took the disabled pushchair friendly route but Monster was all adventurous and led me on a steep and windy path with amazing views. I have decided to let him find and explore his own boundaries a bit more, I feel part of his timidness and cautiousness is my own fears and worries being passed onto him and have surprised myself with how much more laid back I have been with Teeny (not uncommon I believe for first and second children) so am trying to avoid always being there ready to catch him and saying ‘be careful’ 80 times a day, as a) he needs to find his own comfort levels and b) it really is unnecessary as he is probably more careful than most adults anyway! The path apparantly looked even scarier from Ady’s vantage point above us, it looked like sheer drops straight off the side, which it wasn’t but we did have to plough through thistles and nettles and were totally surrounded by butterflies, bees, listening to crickets and grasshoppers and totally immersed in nature and the best views of the sussex coastline ever – you really have a panoramic view of the sea, with all the reflections of the clouds and different colours laid out beneath you.  Monster then had a go with the telescope before we found a good spot for our picnic.

The kids both ate well and ran around loads, Teeny particularly enjoys the elements – she loves wind, rain and other such drama – she would love to go to Niagara Falls and do the Maids of the Mist trip which we did when I was 6 months pregnant with Monster. Monster overheard me and Ady saying this and butted in with ‘I really like the elephants too – can I come?’. Then we drove down into Eastbourne as I had come out without Monsters travel sickness pills and he had looked a bit green on the way there with all the twists, turns and hills on the road and didn’t want to risk the journey home without them. By the time we had negotiated our way into the carpark and I had wandered round trying to find Boots Teeny had fallen asleep so we abandoned out plans to go down to the beach and drove to my parents to collect Ady’s car instead.

Teeny failed to fall asleep till 9pm as a result of this little nap so my evening has been limited to watching BB and eating dinner with a brief bath to sting the hell out of my shoulder. Nothing planned for tomorrow although there is a newish HE group meeting in Brighton every Monday which I keep meaning to get along to and failing – if the weather is nice enough we might do that, if not we might have a day in the garden with the sandpit and paddling pool.

oh we do like to be beside the seaside…
 
Another nice day again today. Got a bit of a lie in, although Monster slept in our bed from midnight till about 6.30 am when we got up – but as he just snuggles down and goes straight to sleep I don’t mind him in the bed. Ady is great at getting up and all but not so good at preventing the kids from coming up every five minutes and the noise levels downstairs prevent a decent lie in!

So we drove into town and after much prevaricting about the best place to park we ended up out of the paying zone which was quite a hike but free! I had packed everything we could possibly need for the day planned but had been sure that Teeny had got a swimsuit from last years sales to fit her this year, but its age 2-3 so will fit next year and slipped off her shoulders when she tried it on. Monster has swimming trunks but when I tried on his sunsuit from last year it still fitted fine so he was set. Had a look round town to find Teeny a sunsuit but none anywhere in her size so we got her a bargain £1.99 swimming costume from Wilkinsons which she wore with her T shirt over the top to protect her from the sun. I am very fair (being a ginge!) and both the kids are fairly pale although Teeny has a better skin tone that me and has a nice tan really so I am very cautious of them being out without quite a bit of cover as well as sun cream – they also both have quite a lot of moles which makes me nervous about sun damage too.

While on the sunsuit trail Monster saw the little kiddie ride in town and declared ‘look, the carousel, that means we must be near Magnotdonalds (McDonalds – don’t know where it got its extra syllable from I’m sure!) I’m hungry, can I have chicken and chips?’ so impressed at his observation Ady took him there for a happy meal while I continued the search! We then picked up a sandwich each for me and Ady and went off to the outdoor paddling pool.

We stayed for about three hours and had a great time, me and Ady took it in turns to go and splash in the water with them, although they did spent a while out there just the two of them splashing each other and giggling. Ady had not thought the day through and was wearing his jeans – he tried rolling them up but they still got wet so he gave up – will post some pics later – spot him as the odd looking one standing in the water fully clothed! I had predicted being dragged in so wore a skirt which I could hitch up. The kids loved every minute of it and were so excited when I went off to buy us all ice creams and came back with cornettos and an inflatable boat. It was only small but they both fitted inside and were happily pulled round the pool by Daddy for ages.

We then got the kids dressed again and walked back along the seafront through the now set up market and fair. There was a continental market which sold all sorts of lovely french and italian foods – we succumbed to a couple of sticks of french bread which is Monster’s current food fad and sampled all sorts of cheeses, olive oils etc along the way. All very educational too talking about how different countries eat different foods and there was a discernable snatch of french conversations too which fascinated Monster. Then we had a couple of go’s on the fairground rides, the kids went on a merry-go-round lorry and I took Monster on the carousel.

Then we walked along the pier, Ady and Monster stayed on while Teeny led me off and we walked right down to the sea, Ady and Monster eventually joined us and we sat for about half an hour throwing stones into the sea and watching the tide come in (more educational stuff on listening – one of the sense I do try hard to ensure we cover whenever there are several sounds to be heard somewhere that are specific to that location I get Monster to listen and tell me what he can hear – a bit like Zingalong but without the crap song, rubbish animation, that scary eyed blonde child and SSSSSo eeee the annoying presenter (who is actually called Marie Clare or something anyway!) – so we listened to waves breaking and then the sound of the sea pulling the smaller stones back in again as the tide receeded.). We finished off by walking all the way back to the car through the rest of the market, most of which was cheap tat but it was so nice to be by the sea we didn’t mind. Got back into the car to find that all day long when I kept saying it felt so much later than it was it had been as mysteriously my watch was nearly an hour slow, back for some tea which the kids didn’t eat on account of all the french bread and a bath to wash off all the paddling pool gunk before they fell into bed exhausted. Our friend who moved to Ireland popped round for an hour and now Ady is asleep on the sofa and I am about to retire for the evening.

Monster has been quite trying today a couple of times. The last few days he has started doing something he did for a while once before which is to throw small tantrums when he is told off or doesn’t want to do something. The problem with them is that he is too old, he never threw tantrums even when he was classic tantrum throwing age and they just come across as too contrived. I am putting it down to tiredness as he wanted to be carried a lot today – admittedly there was a lot of walking and with the splashing about he has no doubt gotten pretty worn out, he has also had some late nights followed by early mornings so I am excusing the behaviour on those grounds. As I was buckling him into the car to come home I said to him ‘you’ve been really good today darling, I’m very proud of you,have you had a nice day? his reply ‘ yes, I liked it cos E wasn’t there’ – not at all sure where that came from but we’ll see if any further references to him come up – I am going to have another chat with Rachel about whether or not it is doing either of them any good to force them on each other every week if they really don’t want to be with each other – will see what Monster says when we talk about meeting up with them next week.

Tomorrow we are planning a trip along the coast to Hastings, Eastbourne, Beachy Head way taking a picnic and maybe calling at Drusillas or Paradise Park on the way back to make full use of our season tickets.

Victor? I was sure it would be Jason!
 
Had a really good day today, am feeling very positive about the future, convinced that what we are doing is right and happy with life in general! (and all I bought today was a £1.49 blusher so its not even retail therapy!!)

Out pretty early this morning – by about 9.30am, Teeny had woken at about 4.30 and come into our bed, she got up with Ady at about 6.30 and the first I knew of morning was all three of them appearing in the bedroom and the kids leaping into bed with me for kisses and cuddles. We nipped into town and did some stuff at the bank and a quick in and out into ELC where I was hoping to get the cycle of a dinos life set that E had yesterday, but all sold out 🙁  a few bits from Boots and a quick whizz round Sainsburys to get some french bread, grapes, cheese, sausages and crisps as Monster doesn’t always like the food provided at Julie’s (and as a fussy eater myself I sympathise rather than feel he should eat what he’s given and also want to avoid a scene and a hungry child for the sake of making a point!).

So arrived at Julies a bit late to find her lazing in the sun while the twins ran round the garden, quickly set my two into running mode and joined in with the lazing. A lovely morning had by all. The four children ran round laughing, playing chase, messing about in the sandpit, interacting with each oher and enjoying being happy innocent children – direct constrast to the four children playing yesterday but a different age mix, and two sets of siblings and one set of cousins so not really comparable I guess. Me and Julie sat and put the world to rights, her and I have very similar views on quite a lot of stuff – she’d make a good MudPuddler! Talked to her about my plan for HE come September and we will definately get together once a week which takes up one of my afternoons, another will be meeting Rachel and Kerry (who will both have new babies by then so even when E and EL start full time school in January we will still meet with the new ones! And then Monster will be the biggest!), another will be the local HE group which only leaves two anyway!

Then went to my parents, neither of whom were in but my bro was so we spent a very nice couple of hours with him, the kids love ‘Uncle Frazer’, he’s always got loads of time for them and is happy to wander round with them and play with them for hours.  And I got to have a nice chat with him too. Rang Ady and he came round too after work whereupon my parents rang me from outside their house! Told them we were all at theirs so they came home, the kids had their tea in the garden and we came home for a quick bath before they both fell asleep superfast due to all their out in the sunshine exercise. Oh and Teeny had her finale to the weeks injuried by colliding with a carrier bag Ady was holding with a four pack of Guinness in it, she has a big lump on her cheekbone which hopefully will not develop overnight into a black eye!

Tomorrow is Worthing Festival day – which consists mainly of a market all along the seafront (when I was a kid it was called the mile long market but I think its even longer than that now) and fairground rides etc along the prom. We are planning to take the kids to the open air paddling pool and amusements along the seafront, followed by a wander round town and along the market when it starts at about 4pm followed by fish and chips for tea, which will be lovely.

hmmmmm…does bad behaviour breed bad behaviour?
 
A nice enough day today, this morning was lovely, kids ate well at lunchtime and off we went to Rachel’s house. Kerry, baby K and EL were there too. As we walked in E pointed straight at Monster and said in a very sneery tone ‘He’s not looking at my hamster’ (which was what everyone was doing – gathered round looking at his birthday pressie hamster). Monster tbh seems pretty oblivious to this (I would say) quite obvious dislike of him. When all kids were out of earshot Rachel and I resumed our usual weekly chat about the kids. Apparantly after they left our house last week E was saying how he didn’t want Monster to come to his birthday party, how Monster didn’t want to come anyway (which in theory could have been said – and frankly I wouldn’t have blamed Monster if he did say it in response to something like ‘you aren’t coming to my party’ ‘i don’t want to come anyway’) and how he doesn’t want Monster to be his friend. All he would say when questioned – and apparantly was desperate to change the subject – was that he didn’t like it when Monster shouted at him. Regular blog readers will recall this is what I have told Monster to do if anyone does something to him he is not comfortable with – he has the right to put his face right in someone elses and shout as loud as he can ‘stop doing that, I don’t like it’, in the case of E the something he is likely to be doing is physical violence. (so hurrah it worked!).

Rachel reading between the lines has decided that E’s problem with Monster is that he feels inferior to him. E is pretty bright and apparantly in the main is well used to being the clever one in any group – amoung school peers, other friends etc, but Monster blows him out of the water. Monster (and I am stepping out of proud parent mode and know his other limitations but believe I am saying this objectively 🙂 ) is very bright, he is very articulate, very able to hold an adult conversation, has excellent thought process and is very lucid and descriptive in what he says.  TBH I see this as an occassional handicap in the ‘wrong’ company and this is probably an example of it. What he is suberb in is also his downfall in that I don’t think he always relates too well to other children. Because he does not get much opportunity to be ‘silly’ and ‘schoolboyish’ (in the theorectical rather than literal way) as I don’t tend to tolerate for example ‘Teeny smells of pooh pooh, she is a smelly girl, na na na na na’ type stuff he simply doesn’t really do it, so when it is called for he struggles. Rachel has been watching him quite intently it appears and was able to call up a couple of example conversations where E was apparently left floundering. One was today when he walked in and one of E’s birthday pressies was a set of dinosaurs, one a hatching baby coming out of an egg, one a baby dino, one a fully grown and one a skeleton. Now this just so happens to be a bit of an area of his expertise but he gathered them all up, put them in logical order and proceeded to explain the life cycle to me, he did this not in a showing off way, simply matter of fact cos he has been taught it and he knows it and is used to (and expects) praise from me for repeating stuff like that back to me and demonstrating his knowledge and understanding. Some of his vocabulary on this was beyond the other children and certainly the logic which was apparent to him was lost on them.  This is probably casting him in a bad light – he laughs constantly and is in no way being hothoused or pushed academically by me, indeed him and Teeny spend much of their fay chasing each other round the house and giggling like maniacs – he does know how to have fun and has a great sense of humour, but again slightly more targeted towards older company… So back to Rachel’s theory.. E feels threatened by his ability to vocally and mentally ‘outwit’ him so he resorts to the one chink in Monster’s armour which is that Monster will never, ever hit him back.

Now I am actually proud of this. In our house we have a total non acceptance towards violence. The children are not smacked, Ady and I are not violent towards each other, the children do not watch, read or are otherwise exposed to violence, there are no obviously violent toys, of course they are sometimes rough with each other in their squabbles but they also ‘know’ that I do not find it acceptable behaviour. In the past people have told me I am naive in my attitude here and that violence is a part of everyday life, well it isn’t in my life. I have never been hit and never hit anyone else and sincerely hope neither happens in the future. I would not tolerate violence towards me or my family from anyone. I am aware that it exists and when I feel the children are of an appropriate age to comprehend it they will learn about it, and of course Monster gathers sticks from the garden and pretends they are swords and he is Peter Pan and Captain Hook, but he does appreciate it is pretend, not real. Hence the shouting in people’s faces defence mechanism.

So as a theory I guess it makes sense. Rachel told E that her and I are friends and while she doesn’t expect E to have to be friends with Monster he does need to act towards him in an acceptable manner, and aside from the odd minor hiccup once they had settled down today they all played really well, including about an hour after EL has left when E, Monster and Teeny played really nicely together digging in the garden.

However, Monster did a few things I was not happy with and can’t help but blame ‘the company he was keeping’. Very minor stuff, he threw a bit of a tantrum when E started playing with something – small stuff but a bit overdramatic, he did not come and get his shoes on when I asked ( I even counted to three which has never failed before!) and then although it went unseen he pinched me (not hard) when I picked him up and plonked him down to put said shoes on. I could sense huge sighs of relief that he is normal after all from Kerry and Rachel, but did feel a bit let down by him. We had a chat about it at bedtime and he apologised and we left it there

When I watched Wife Swap this week I was both appauled at the behaviour of the ‘naughty teen’ and also a bit concerned at the too goodiness of the other two, and would not want my two to be without a bit of spirit. I am not overly strict and don’t feel I enforce too many rules and regulations but am not sure whether I am relieved he can be a typical nearly 4 year old and disappointed that he seems to have seen another child getting away with behaviour he himself does not like to witness then  done a bit of it himself. I think my biggest problem with E is not the way he reacts to Monster, its the lack of respect for Rachel when she tries to modify his behaviour, and that is what I don’t ever want to witness in my two.

Anyway, enough musings, still reinforces so many of the reasons why I know we are doing the right thing HEing them. tomorrow we are spending the morning at Chris and Julie’s and will see where the afternoon takes us!

Books, books, everywhere books (said in the manner of Roly Mole)
 
Walked into Lancing this morning and did a quick charity shop spree, but only got one board book on shapes for Teeny (sure Monster knew his shapes and colours by her age – need to spend a bit of learning time with her!) and a Thomas book for Monster which he begged for! Then went into Woolworths and got a few bits – have been longing for a shredder for a while now – we have started being all consciencious about recycling as the council here has a great blue box scheme where you chuck all your tins, bottles, cans, papers, magazines, junk mail etc into the blue boxes they provide (we have four – what does that say about our alcohol consumption eh?) and they collect it on the same days as the bins – its really inspired us to be better about what we use / chuck etc. But I have heard so many horror stories about people ‘stealing your identity’ with no more info that your name and address I really wanted to get a shredder so I can shred anything with personal info on and then blue box the shreddings – also thought that I am about to start producing a bit more paper waste with the magazine – printing off test prints, messing with ads etc and that will be something I won’t want to throw away ‘whole’. So in Woolies they have a 3 for 2 on all the stationery type stuff and a special offer shredder for a tenner, so for a bargain under £15 I got the shredder, some blue tack, some wrapping paper for a pressie for EL, a memo block for my desk and a new notebook for making notes of ideas for the mag – I love stationery!

Then we went to the library for storytime, but as its school hols it was totally packed – there must have been 30 odd kids there with assorted parents – almost like a classroom 🙂 so we gave up on that idea and were just about to leave when I found a rack of ex library books for sale at 30p each – so another £3.00 was invested in the following:

Experiment with senses
My Science book of senses
How do I know its yucky – and other questions about the senses
The way it works – electricity
Hands and Feet – all about how us and other animals use our bodies as tools
shapes, structures and materials science experiments
my science book of machines
how floating machines work
my wonderful body
the body book (this was the one Monster borrowed recently, renewed twice and still didn’t want to return!)

what a stash eh? Tidied the playroom a bit more yesterday and now have a whole out of reach of children shelf of encyclopedias, atlases, books on science, biology, maths, languages and loads on dinosaurs which I will find some time to go through and work some ‘lessons’ or ‘themes’ or ‘projects’ around for Monster to start in September. I am going to take the ‘summer holidays’ off to kick start my mag and think about how we are going to play this whole thing but my plan is to spend a couple of hours each morning setting the kids up with fun but educational stuff to do (no tv!), for Monster following some sort of Nic-designed curriculum which he will likely be unaware of but will allow me to start gauging what we are doing and where his strengths and weaknesses lie – and for Teeny stuff like puzzles, shapes, colours etc. They can do that in the playroom while I work next to them and then after lunch we will go out most days – I’m going to try and build in something to do each day – the HE group meets again in September every Thursday, there are loads of Activeo meetings and lessons we could think about attending and I am determined to start meeting some other like minded folk too so that I feel a bit more supported – maybe even thinking about doing some childswapping once a week if the kids are ready for it.

Right , this was supposed to be brief and now it isn’t! So I’m off to make some lunch, wake Teeny from her nap and we are off to Rachels for the afternoon. Monster is looking forward to it cos EL will be there, and as it was E’s birthday on Saturday and EL’s on Tuesday there will be birthday cake and we have got EL a little gift of some girly glittery makeup (E has his pressie at his party).

Oh, and have just tried my new shredder and its FAB!