arrrrh why does blogger do that? typed loads then it deleted!!!!! grrrr and the hanging gardens of babylon!

forgot to blog that over the weekend Teeny learnt to open the front door all by herself – all alone, without aid or assistance from responsibile grown ups or her big brother. Teeny the adventurer is just too clever for her own good, coupled with a healthy dose of dizzy blondeness she works out how to do stuff very quickly but doesn’t yet know how to anticipate the consequences.

The plus side of this was that having owned this house for over 11 years and we bought it with a fairly newly installed doubled glazed door we have discovered that it has an integral clever locking device on the handle, which involves pushing a button and pushing the handle up. This means Monster can still undo it by himself but Teeny is still a bit too small, given she has clearly been standing on tip toe each and every day waiting for the morning when she can finally reach it, she now has to grown another couple of inches before she can reach it again… however I did buy her a step stool last week for when we do cooking so perhaps she will work that one out by the end of the week.

Wonder (got it right again!) if I can get some specially made child size fly paper to capture her infront of the front door, or could dig a trench infront of it?

shakin stevens, mel and kim, brother beyond, jason donovan, bananarama. oh yes and the hanging gardens of babylon!

right got all that off my chest, now on with what we did today! It was supposed to be hot and stormy and sure enough its been very hot but still not signs of any rain or storms to clear it all. I was up early this morning – and at 6.00am it sure was early! Me and Teeny spent a happy hour and a half before Monster arrived downstairs too, I finally sent them upstairs to wake Ady at about 9.30am. Ady started getting the cold on Friday, Teeny yesterday and I think Monster will be waking with it tomorrow – naturally being boys Ady and Monster are faring less well and being altogether more wussy about it than I was or Teeny is being! Which meant that no one was really in the mood for doing much today. At 11am we decided that if we were going out we needed to do it NOW as Teeny would fall asleep in the car and we didn’t want her to do that too late, so we set off for Worthing town centre and seafront.

Got Teeny some new shoes from Clarks – not the nicest she’s ever had but £12 for Doodles as opposed to £25 for pretty sandals that only last a couple of months – and summer shoes always take a beating in sandpits and sea too but quite pretty bright pink ones with cherries on them – she likes them! Wandered (see how I got it right then!) around town a bit more then down to the beach to eat sausages and chips and ice creams. The kids walked down to the sea by themselves holding hands – not sure if Ady videoed it or took photos – if pics then I’ll blog them later – they looked adorable! They both sat down to slide down the really steep pebble bit, then stood up, took each others hands again and carried on down to the sea where they stood just in the water – bless them! Various grown ups they passed along the way looked on at them with ‘aren’t they cute’ expressions quickly followed by ‘is there an adult with them?’ as they ploughed straight in the sea and ‘oh yes there she is’ as I ran after them! Then a quick walk up and down the pier before coming home to watch Finding Nemo – voted as the most topical! Ady gave them tea and then let them loose in the garden with the hosepipe while I went through their bedrooms and gathered up all the outgrown clothes ready for a car boot sale one day! Makes me all sad and nostalgic to fold away all the cute outfits they will never be small enough for again and I confess to stashing at least one set of clothes each that I cannot bear to part with to someone bartering me down to 50p for! Both were so tired they fell asleep instantly freeing Ady up to go and clean both cars, me to blog all my up in the air feelings and us both to have a bath and dinner at a decent hour. First sunday roast we’ve had in ages for some reason – we are about the only people I know who still have a roast every sunday but having been away or had friends over the last couple of weekends it has not happened, and to be honest its still so hot I don’t know how much will get eaten anyway!

Right off for my bath, going to an Activeo event at the wealden and downland open air museum tomorrow – will post link then, dinosaur place on Tuesday with Rachel and E, Rachel, E, Kerry, EL and baby K round on Wednesday afternoon and you never know we might even get ourselves along to the swimming pool on Thursday – so another busy week..

the great wall of china, the grand canyon, niagara falls and of course the hanging gardens of babylon!

a mothers guilt – warnings (but no apologies, after all this is my blog!) in advance that what follows is likley to be a bit whingy and self indulgent but this is as good a place as any to vent it and while I am aware of having an audience you are likely to be either understanding, able to ignore it and click ‘next’ when it gets too much or at the very least not dwell on it and bring it up if we ever have a row! Am feeling very wrung out at the moment, I kind of feel I am giving everything I have to give and its not enough, and I know why too. Ever since I was 14 I have worked, initially at weekends, then weekends and evenings and after leaving college I worked full time. I had quite a successful career, I was considered to be good at what I did, I achieved a lot, I was well paid enough for us to be one of the better off couples we knew and I pretty much defined myself by what I did for a living. Having been in a happy, fulfilling, wonderful relationship since I was 19 I sort of had that area of my life ticked off and felt able to concentrate on being the best I could at what I did. Then along came Monster. I had just started probably the best job I ever had, I was very well regarded by peers and bosses, well paid and when I found out I was pregnant just one week after starting the job they were reassuring, bent over backwards to accomodate me and offered me pretty much whatever I wanted on whatever terms to keep me after the baby was born. This ended up being me in the office one day a week (Ady’s day off) with working from home and phone support to the woman who took over my role a couple of days a week. This would probably still be going on now, or have evolved appropriately had we not moved up north for a couple of years. Once there I set about thinking about how to employ myself but within a very short time I was offered a job by Ady’s boss once again on my own terms, this became a couple of mornings a week going into work while Lynda looked after the children (Teeny came along during this time) and some more work done from home around the children. Again I was respected by the rest of the team as very good at what I did.

I have always felt that I had children then I should be the one to look after them. This is no criticism on anyone who pays someone else to do it, simply my own personal feeling of responsibility but I also knew that I would not necessarily feel fulfilled myself if I was ‘just’ a mother. I know some of this may be a bit contentious, please be aware that it is not meant to be or to raise any great discussions, these are simply my feelings about me and my family – I do not judge others home / work / childcare set ups as each family is different in terms of their material / financial / personal needs. My job came to an end when we returned to Sussex and I don’t really see myself as in a position to apply for other jobs when I don’t have any real childcare, it would be tricky to start finding it (and probably go against everything I am trying to do HE wise) and my previous jobs have always evolved into being ideal once I have become valued for what I can offer – a brand new employer is unlikley to take me on face value as fab and worth all the working around I would have to ask for.
Lately however I am feeling more and more like I am giving all I have to give, it is not enough and I am not using a large part of the rest of me as it has no outlet. I love my children desperately and know I could not be parted from them, however I do resent being with them every second of every day meeting every one of their needs. I have spent this weekend being a real bitch to Ady and the kids but constantly on the verge of tears, feeling guilty because I want some time to myself without them all but cross with them because I can’t have it. Monster has told me a few times recently that I am cross too much and I don’t play with him enough, both of which are true, but if I try to leave them for a couple of hours then I get guilt trips about that.

I know Ady feels he works hard all week and he either wants to spend time as a family together or do some of his own stuff (like the garden for example which means he needs to be out there alone with his garden power tools while I look after the kids indoors) and he is right, but I honestly feel like I have worked the last four months without a single day off – Ady spends his working week mixing with grown ups, talking work stuff, dressing up in smart clothes and doing a lot of driving, which gives him time to think and be alone and eat his lunch in peace! Me, I get followed to teh toilet and seem to get no ‘headspace’ – if you read my blog a lot you might argue I get too much thinking time but thats why its all on here – a sort of scheduled time each day to spout it all out!
The other whine is that we are pretty desperate for money without any wage coming in from me, I am a spender and having to watch every penny, and feel guilty about not contributing towards the bank account does not sit well with me. I feel like I spend my time sitting around doing very little but am prevented from doing anything much as the instant I come to the computer or pick up the phone I get called by the kids for something or other.

A vicious circle and one which I know will improve over time. Teeny is still very young and does need almost constant supervision, Monster is used to having a grown up at his beck and call whether it was me or Lynda, but back then I felt able to give the kids my all when I was with them as I had done my ‘being Nic’ bit when I was working. I have always said that if I was to be at home full time being a mum then I would need the cash to support the constant round of activities and days out I would have to do to keep myself sane, at the moment we don’t have that and while on a day to day basis I am filling my time with afternoons with friends and their children, Activeo events and such like I do have this nagging fear that MY life is slipping away, I am not contributing or achieving anything and I am getting a bit lost under all the other labels I have – and on top of everything IT’S TOO BLOODY HOT!

the blarney stone, taransay, the hanging gardens of babylon!

quick update on missed days…

Friday – up early but somehow the bermuda triangle that is our house made us lose an hour and we ended up not getting out till nearly 11! Over to Chris and Julies where the four children enjoyed scampering round the garden, eating each others picnics and general playing, while Julie and I sat and chatted, did some more colouring in the kids jumbo colouring books and generally lazing in the sun. Left there and went home via Tescos where they are selling off all their summer toys – got a bucket and spade kit for £1.50, a garden tools set (trolley, assorted spades, forks and flowerpots etc) for £4.50 and a couple of bits of wooden train track for Monster.

Got home to find Ady already here tidying up the garden in preparation of the barbecue. The kids stayed up late and ate their dinner in the garden with us, but Teeny was coming down with the cold I have had all week so she was in bed asleep by 7.30, Monster took a bit longer – I gave him his milk then put him to bed, told him I would be in the garden with Daddy, Granny and Grandad if he needed me and went down to eat my food – within moments he had appeared in the garden but was being so cute he won a reprieve! He stayed up till about 10ish in the end, joined in the chocolate birthday cake eating and had my parents and brother in hysterics by getting all excited then saying ‘calm down, calm down’ to himself (the fact that they all thought it was something to do with that Michael Winner car insurance ad when actually he is always being told to calm down by me and has never even seen the ad seemed not worth mentioning to them!). He finally went to sleep when we came inside the house, but when I went downstairs to join everyone my dad was in an unusually spiteful mood and seemed to be picking on me – the examples are too vague to mean anything but he was quite cutting and I was feeling tired and probably a bit oversensitive too so ended up pretending Monster was still awake and going upstairs to sit on my bed for a bit of a cry – it did strike me at one point that this is MY house, and why the hell was I banishing myself to my bedroom when I could just ask them all to leave but I think I knew myself I was not being strictly rational so dried my eyes and went back downstairs again. I did say something, when I had regained my composure about hoping Dad would be in a better mood the next day and that I felt he had made enough mistakes in his own life not to sit in judgement and be critical of others which I think must have gone in… Ady had foolishly arranged to see them on Saturday and as they were probably the last people I wanted to spend time with I rang in the morning and tried to cancel it but Dad was insistant so on…

Saturday – we went over to their house and then drove down to the local open air paddling pool on the seafront. I did not really talk much to my parents all day – there were two incidents where I really shouted at Monster (both times it was more to get his attention as he was ignoring me or Ady – something I can’t bear) and I saw raised eyebrow looks pass between them – they think I am too strict with the children but they see such small snapshots of us that they really have not got an inkling of how I parent.
We had a nice time at the paddling pool, ice creams, splashing and general summer fun. The home to our house where once all kids were finally asleep we got a takeaway. Ady pointed out that it was Dad’s birthday and as birthdays can often be a time for reflection on what has gone before, and Dad is now 66 so perhaps it was less a reaction to me that just general feeling old and mean and grumpy and taking it out on the nearest person – which I will happily put it down to as I have no desire either to fall out with him, or to start telling my parents all the stuff that pisses me off about them – it will be one of those conversations you can’t go back from and I dont want all that stuff ‘out there’, I’d rather just spout off to Ady occassionally!

Today is as yet unplanned – there are storms forecast weatherwise although it still looks lovely and sunny outside, there is loads of stuff I would like to get done around the house but don’t know if Ady will be agreeable. We have decided to do a car boot sale and all the general rubbish / outgrown clothes / other assorted baby stuff needs digging out from all the cupboards and small loft spaces and the garage it was all stashed in when we moved in and assembling to see what exactly we have got to sell and when we are going to do it. It was all going to be ebayed but whilst ebay was great for getting shot of all my maternity clothes – and I made a few quid too – its so time consuming to photo it, list it, do all the paperwork and then traipse to the post office, so car boot it is – then charity shop on the way home for anything remaining unsold!

I have also done absolutely nothing about my magazine for two weeks – which is terrible! I really need to sit down with it and start to do some serious planning, getting print quotes and selling the ad space, will attempt to order what needs doing in some sort of job list later today to guide and inspire me a bit. This is one of my worst faults – I get all fired up about something, start it and then sort of run out of steam (and interest) so it remains one of Nic’s ideas which was great but never went anywhere – I think I am probably a better employee than I am business woman but who wants to employ someone with sparse quantifiable skills who wants to work from home around her two HE children? My real experience is in management which is always hard to do unless you are on site to ‘manage’ – don’t think there is much scope to do it from home!

Off now for some decluttering – maybe – and to send some emails to arrange next weeks days out and activities…

arundel castle, the hanging gardens of babylon (determined to see that one up in google ad lights!), parachute jumping into the river thames, the millenium dome…

actually did anyone go to the Dome? We did and thought it was fab – but yes probably not worth all the money which could of course have been put to much better use etc..

A good day today, Teeny has (and I know that simply by thinking this let alone typing it I am jinxing it into stopping) slept through since Saturday night so Ady woke me at 7.40am to say goodbye and the littlies were both still asleep so I grabbed another half an hour myself before Teeny started yelling ‘Mummmm-mmmmyyy’ into the baby monitor, got downstairs to find Monster already sat there watching the music channel and ‘waiting for you to get up so I can have my milk’ – that boy is getting so grown up – he even came upstairs to find me this morning with the post, having answered the door to the postwoman to take in a parcel… we made chocolate croissants for breakfast – well Monster did, Teeny got yelled at for standing on his stool and not letting him stand on it too – have since been to Boots to get her one of her own so they can stand side by side next to the worktops next time we do cooking and stuff.

We were out by 10am and on our way to an Activeo meeting for under 8s at someone’s house in Bognor. I used to work in Bognor, years ago as the manager of Clinton Cards, but always loathed the town and literally used to drive in and out to work each day but never explored the place any further than that. The meeting was in a lovely house – really big, airy, ideal for HEing and group meetings with three big downstairs rooms and a nice, big, childfriendly garden. Clare – the hostess has three children, two girls aged 10 and 8 and a nearly 4 yo son – all of whom were lovely children and the best advertisment for HE children you could wish to meet. Clare was looking after a friends four children as well so although we were the first to arrive there were already seven children there – not sure whether these four were school going or HE but they were not such nice children, particularly as it was not even their house or their toys they were refusing to let anyone else look at let alone touch! During the course of the 4 hours we were there there were about 10 adults and 20ish children around, some of whom I had met before, some who were new to me. Sadly none of them live anywhere near us really, Chichester, Portsmouth, Petersfield all of which are at least 40 miles or an hours drive away from us so we didn’t necessarily meet anyone who we could meet up with independantly today but there was a really nice lady with twin girls a bit younger than Monster, another with a son who was just 3 who Monster really got on well with, they spent ages playing on the giant garden trampoline and then went in the house and played with the brio trainsets for ages – although when I asked Monster about him at bedtime I found out he thought he had been playing with a little girl all day (he had longish blonde hair quite similar to Teenys which was enough for Monster to decide it was a girl – rofl!) Julie was also there with the twins for a while but we tried not to just sit talking to each other as that would defeat the object to going to mix with other people a bit – and we are going over there for the day tomorrow too.

Monster had a fairly large scale melt down when we left – which was not great as the reason we were leaving was that Teeny had just had one of her own! They had had a picnic lunch and she had eaten all her crisps, then appeared next to me having rumaged through the bag with Monsters unopened bag wanting them too, I was sitting at a table with all the other grownups so she had a total audience and threw a right hissy fit when I said no, I know everyone understands that this is what nearly 2 year olds do and I am pretty calm when dealing with her really, she doesn’t strop for long and can almost always be jollied out of it but she had not had a nap on the way over in the morning and I was concerned that getting upset would make her all the more likely to fall asleep on the way home, which would have put paid to her going to sleep tonight and cocked up any hope of the good nights continuing – Monster was playing with the train sets and went mad when I told him we were going, he had had fair warning about ten minutes earlier that I would be coming though with his shoes soon to get ready to leave but flatly refused and really cried, he said I was ‘spoiling his fun’ ! We had a quiet chat in the hall and he calmed down and off we went – all forgotten but my two do know how to make an exit instead of an entrance thats for sure! Monster helped me keep Teeny awake for the journey home by singing, tickling her and being generally very noisy. He then ate most of his dinner (fishfingers, potato shapes and beans) and Teeny devoured hers (shepherds pie, broccolli, cauliflower) – amazing! Ady was home late which meant Teeny was not in bed till nearly 8pm and Monster still awake at 9,30 – which may mean the plan for him to stay up tomorrow night and join in Grandad’s birthday barbecue might not happen if he is too tired – we’ll see.

Ady is currently composing the birthday gift of a huge photo montage of all the family and I can’t quite believe thats its Friday again already tomorrow – or and we will be outside all night with my Dad, whos birthday it is and who loathes BB with a passion, which means we will miss all of the last show tomorrow night – anyone following it up for sending me text updates?

the grand canyon, mount etna, hoover dam and the hanging gardens of babylon

Trip to the library went well, we took Daddy’s car which meant Monster got to ride in the front and as I said to him when we got home an hour later he was ‘very good company’ of course I wished I hadn’t as he then required a full explanation with three examples of what exactly that meant but it is nice to spend one to one time with the small people at times – of course it is equally nice to spend time without them too – which I did for a couple of hours this evening when I popped over to my parents and then to Sainsburys!

Ady was super bloke today and after spending two nights in bare, minimalist (if not exactly eye pleasing hues of orange and brown ) Travelinns with no clutter and no crap made us view our home with critical eyes this morning so while I tackled the mountain of washing he ran round with the dyson, did dusting and other such mundane stuff! While we were out he did more upstairs houseworky stuff while Teeny napped and then after a hurried lunch of peanut butter sandwiches (all we had in the house!) I took the smalls off to Rachels and he carried on with mucking out the car and doing garden stuff. The car was truly icky – we had done over 900 miles in four days which was about 16 hours in the car and as I had fed the kids rainbow drops (those little puffed wheat covered in coloured sugar type creations) for the last half an hour in the car last night to keep them quiet, entertained and awake! there was quite a bit of mucking out to do!

E was sort of back to his usual self today, quite boisterous, I think Monster got at least one kick, one wallop and one shove and he also got a whistle knocked out of his mouth mid blow which looked sore too. I am still debating whether I am being fair in subjecting him to this as one of my initial reasons for looking into HE was that I feel he is something of a natural target for bullies and always has seemed to attract that sort of attention from children in groups – but he always wants to go and I am torn between feeling bad that he may start to accept that behaviour towards himself as okay, deciding that he needs to learn to deal with negative stuff and at least this is a controlled environment to be discovering it in and there is nothing happening to him that he can’t handle and worried that he is always quite badly behaved himself for the rest of the day when we have been with E. We are seeing them twice next week, once for a day out and once round here – so one occassion on mutual ground and one in Monster’s own home (where E does tend to behave better it has to be said) I think I will continue to reserve judgement for now and keep asking Monster whether he wants to spend time with E as and when. E will be starting school full time in January anyway so it will be Rachel and new baby we meet with as opposed to E soon. Kerry, EL and baby K were there too – so nice to have access to someone elses baby now I definately won’t be having any more of my own I can actually appreciate and almost enjoy other peoples! A fairly uneventful afternoon really…

Have been reading all the various goings on and following comments on other blogs – I am starting to form opinions and ideas about people without ever having met anyone and at the risk of sounding like a stalker and obsessing about people I won’t make my ideas about what you are all like public – I will wait till I actually meet you and then secretly decide whether I was right or not 🙂 The only thing that does occur to me is that surely one of the reasons we decide to HE is cos we feel that is what is right for us and our children, so as such we cannot be doing it wrong – does that make sense? Merry said something about wandering how her girls will look back on their time as children and how she is to them – I confess to wandering the same a little – although my children are probably the first people ever to inspire that sort of wandering – generally I don’t much care what peoples opinions are of me – I am who I am, I like me, my husband who is a truly wonderful man and must therefore be a good judge of character adores me, I have friends who would do anything for me and I know that I do my very best for my children which is the most anyone can ever expect of me. Monster has accused me a couple of times recently of ‘never playing with him anymore’ tbh I don’t think I have ever been much of a playing with him mummy, I am there all the time (more now than ever before as I have no time away for work at all which i have always previously had) but the time he gets dedicated solely
to him for ‘playing’ is probably less than ever before too – there is now a nearly 2 yo in the house too with equal needs for time and attention, I am trying to get a business started, we have only been here for three months so I am still getting re-settled in the house, trying to make contacts in the HE world and so on. From his point of view I would guess it is a fair critcism, from mine it is probably true but unless i am willing to forgoe any time for me then yes, I do play with him less. This is a trade off – the last four days spent 100% in each others faces, sleeping in the same room, spending hours in the car, going to sleep within about an hour of the kids so having no downtime have shown me just how impatient, intolerant, shouty and pretty unreasonable I can get – I would rather be looked back on as sometimes a bit too busy to play with me than always shouting and being mean to me.

Our children are by nature, nurture or a combination a product of us, they need pretty much whatever it is we are able to give them. I am able – I feel – to judge what it is my children need, wouldn’t have an inkling about other peoples – although of course it is easy to sit and bitch – otherwise I wouldn’t watch Wife Swap and Supernanny! Above all what MY kids need is me, that is my love, my pride in them, as much time as I can give which is quality time given without resentment, me there to cheer for them, dry their tears, urge them that they can be whatever, whoever, however they want to be and I will always love them and cheer for them, try not to put my hopes, fears and expectations on them (but be aware that I do!). When I was pregnant I spent the whole time joining newsgroups, researching pregnancy, childbirth and parenting. My bookshelves groan with toddler taming, what to expect, sibling rivalry type stuff, but TBH I don’t know if anything I have written or learnt will have had any real bearing on what I have done. Rarely do I take a step back from a situation and call upon words of wisdom from Chris Green – I tend to react straightaway in the manner that comes naturally to me. I have often read stuff however and thought ‘oh i do it that way’. I always swore that if i had kids they would not define me (well actually I always swore I would never have kids but still…) but if I had to do the sum yourself up in three words type thing then one of them would be mother. God this is getting way too deep – can you believe Stuart went? and the way he left?
HE meet with brand new folks tomorrow – will report back on evidence of looms, tie dye equipment, yoghurt making and also be vigilant for signs of laminators, hamabeads and excessive scheduling 🙂

ooh, ooh, ohh would you look at my google ads!!

so thats the secret, historical monuments and places of interest – well the challenge is on!

A good day yesterday – spent the morning at Lyndas and then Ady texted at 1pm to say he was finished, so I left the children with her while I drove to collect him and then off we went – probably the best journey south we’ve ever had – just five hours with a stop off. Teeny slept for nearly an hour and they both played up a fair bit, which is horrid at the time but excusable as being cooped up in a car for hours is not fun for us, let alone small people. So home by 8 – they both took forever to go to sleep but by 10.15pm we were back in our own home, eating an indian takeaway infront of BB – home sweet home!

Today we are pottering this morning – need to take some library books back and maybe get some out about the Romans and then off to Rachel’s this afternoon, tomorrow I need to make a phonecall to check but we are supposed to be going to an under 8s play session for HEers at someones house (an Activeo event) and Friday we are going over to Chris and Julies, with a barbecue for my dad in the evening as its his birthday.

So I am feeling all left out when I keep reading about all of the other bloggers getting together all the time – I am seriously thinking about coming along to the next camp – when is it, where is it, can i stay in a static??? as I really want to meet you all in the flesh – and it would be great for the children to play with other HEers – oh and to see Katy and Becca again! The other thing I was wondering about was a general day out meet up somewhere centralish – we are as south as you can get (Sussex coast) but would happily travel a couple of hours to meet up for a day out / picnic / general get together – anyone else up for it or have any suggestions?

Off now to peg out the first of about 18 loads of washing – and then for a wander off to the library before it closes.

I just couldn’t stay away!!

so here i am sat in my travelinn room wired up to the wireless high speed connection at the bargain price of £5 for 2 hours web access! Which sort of sounds reasonable, but is probably daylight robbery and is preventing me from the shower, early night, watch of BB that I should be doing! Have spent the first 90 minutes catching up on the blog ring – god, I’ve missed you all!!

So, an update on life ‘on the road with the Goddards’…. Saturday saw us up and on the way by shortly after 10am – by 1pm we had only done 53 miles 🙁 a tractor had strewn its load of straw across the A24 at Dorking promptly a diversion of about 2 miles which took an hour, then the M25 was its usual carpark type state around Heathrow… Ady ‘drove like the wind’ (I can really notice a change in his driving style since he’s been doing all these miles for work – in 3 months he has clocked up 9000 miles – scary) and with a brief stop at Oxford services and a huge effort to keep both kids awake for the latter part of the journey we arrived at Boss Lady’s just one hour after we had intended. Monster had a very educational chat with me about energy on the way – we talked about as many different ways of getting energy as we could think of – we came up with electricity, wind, sun, batteries, clockwork (being wound up), food, drink and sleep – it all seemed to go in too as he had refered to it a few times since.

We got there and the kids found their second wind and a nice half hour was spent climbing on F (Boss Lady’s 7yo daughter)’s climbing frame, enjoying the view (they live pretty much on top of a mountain – you can see most of the north west from the south side of their house – stunning scenery which is constantly changing with the weather and the seasons.), and letting off steam. Amazngly all three children were asleep by 7.30pm which meant we had a lovely evening getting very drunk, having mad in depth discussions about war, nuclear holocausts, religion (BL is jewish and her dutch hubby converted), parenting and photography. Ady and Mr Boss Lady jumped in their landrover both very drunk and drove up the hill (all private land) with their cameras to photograph the moon – some great shots I’ll blog when I get them onto my PC. Monster woke at about midnight as we went to bed so joined us in our room, Teeny was awake too within the hour and there followed a horrid few hours before we all fell asleep at about 4am ;-( By 7.30am the daughter of the house was banging on our bedroom door before barging in, putting the TV on in the room, dragging the rocking chair infront of it and sitting there talking constantly while me and Ady tried to work out how to leave the bed as we were both naked!

Left there for the journey to Carlisle on Sunday morning slightly later than planned, and then had to stop for nappies, wipes, cold and flu tablets ( I woke up on Saturday morning with sniffles (thanks Victor!) but had to deny it as BL is obsessive about catching other peoples germs and being ill – so wrote it off as hayfever, then had to make excuses for not taking the offered piriton and had to try some of her G&T from her glass as could not think of a decent excuse not to – so hope she is not poorly yet!) and so on. We arrived at 2pm so booked into our room and went off to find Hadrian’s Wall. Photos have been blogged. We found a turret which we all clambered about on and ran around on the nearby grass before heading back to the room for showers and baths and an early for us, late for them dinner. Teeny was horrid in the restaurant – luckily it was 7pm on a sunday night, the place was full of kids, the weather was hot and sticky – which of course excuses all sorts of behaviour (wonder if it could be a defence case in court) and there were plenty of as bad if not worse kids doing the same. Back to the room and we were all asleep by 10pm – and didn’t wake till 8am this morning – best nights sleep in weeks!

Dropped Ady off at the office he was training in and auditing in and headed off with small people to Birdoswald Fort – will see if I can do a link tomorrow – fear my two hours is running out! oog no I’ve done it! which was small but ideal for their attention span. Walked round and over the ruins, got chatting with a lady who was all alone and I assume doing the full Hadrian’s wall walk by her knowledge, used the disabled lift as we had the pushchair (had to mention it as it was a true highlight for the kids!) looked at the stuff dug up from the grounds and then hit the gift shop…. now this is a big deal for me to blog but Monster was really taken with the whole concept of the Romans and we have decided to start doing a project on them when we get home, Ady is also very interested in them and remembers stuff fondly from being a child that he did on them so when Monster spotted the roman soldier dressing up outfit and it was reasonably priced and he pleaded for it I relented…and it consists of a hat, a shield, upper body armour and ahem a sword …I know, I know, I know. So we have had big discussions about the sword, the rules are it is part of the dressing up outfit and will remain in the dressing up box only to be used when the outfit is worn, it is NEVER NEVER to be used against another person unless it is within context of the dressing up and if Monster, Teeny or anyone else gets struck or hurt with it then it is binned imediately. I am still very uncomfortable with the whole idea and Monster knows that and keeps reassuring me about it all. Ady says if he is going to learn about Romans then he needs to know that they used swords, appreciate how they used them etc and as such the sword was a necessity. My own feeling is it will not last the week before being taken away for inapproproate swording – but we will see – in the spirit of letting the kids learn a few of their own lessons which I aiming to do this is the first and very big step…

Ady finished really early at Carlisle so we arrived in Warrington for 4pm. Kids ran around the hotel room like loonies, before having showers and we all went across for dinner at 7pm. Had a lovely meal – spent far more than we could afford but the kids were so well behaved and really good company – all four of us were in fits of laughter several times, one of those occassions when you all really just enjoy being with each other. Nice food and aside from the amount of alcohol Teeny filched from me and Ady (sure she was singing ‘show me the way to go home’ after she had her milk, and she is bound to wake with a hangover in the morning – lucky I will have the heat to blame eh?) it was lovely. Teeny asleep by nine, Monster watched the Pagan thing and fell asleep at about 10 – having started a big discussion about being dead and where did dead people sleep just before he turned over and started snoring, and Ady has been flaked out on the bed for ages. About to go and have that shower and turn in myself. Seeing Lynda (old nanny) tomorrow while Ady works, then the long yucky journey back south late afternoon early evening, so may not be blogging tomorrow, but will be back on Wednesday.

A fab day, although it stretched a bit too far at each end!

Awakened this morning by both children arriving in the bed and bouncing about while singing a rousing chorus of the mummy song (sum total of lyrics – mummy, mummy, mummy) – accompanied by the mummy dance which was Monster bouncing and Teeny trying to put my eye drops in for me while I was actually still asleep and therefore had quite tightly closed eyes! (I wear all day all night contact lenses so first task every am is to drop some eye drops in each eye to refresh them).

Up, dressed, breakfasted (okay Ady did the breakfast) and picnic packed (okay he did that too ;-)) by nine am… and on our way to an Activeo meeting a few miles away. Got to the general vicinity well on time but drove up and down the same stretch of road – which is luckily flanked by a roundabout at either end – at least four times with Monster asking repeatedly ‘why are we going this way again mummy?’ on each occassion before finally finding the place. Have to also add the funniest thing from this morning which was us playing the Monsters Inc soundtrack quite loudly, singing along for the first track then Monster telling me what instrument he thought was playing for all the rest of the cd – was all impressed with our culturedness, what a rich and varied education I was providing for my offspring by seeking educational opportunities at every turn, nurturing their love of classical music, honing their listening skills and creating small musically appreciative folk when I turned to glance at Teeny expecting a peaceful look upon her pretty face as she smiled and gently swayed to the music – nah, she was sitting as far forward as her car seat allows, with her tongue out in the manner of a cat cleaning itself contorted into a position which was allowing her to lick the chocolate off her seatbelt which had melted on there and been forgotten earlier in the week!!

So we arrived and wandered into the venue which is a huge space within a large plot of land where all sorts of parties and events have been hosted. It is an amazing place, the bloke who owns it all makes wooden stuff – carved chairs, huge carved mushrooms etc and it is a cross between the sort of place you expect medieval warriors to come tearing round a corner of at any moment and a place where you can picture virgin maidens and goats being sacrificed and offered to obscure gods! It did have a roof but there had been a fire there and all that remained was the charred timbers creating odd shadows and patches of shade and sunlight underneath, there were huge steps and inbuilt seats all around and a couple of spaces for barbecues (and bonfires for chanting and dancing round no doubt!) – just one of those places you can *feel* stuff has happened at iykwim?!

So Monster, the child who you may recall is shy, retiring and prone to cling to apron strings (if I were to be the apron wearing variety, which you understand I am not!) loved it. He set to clambering about, talked to the other children and when Chris and Julie and the twins arrived was the one encouraging Teeny, M and J to climb with him! Then the main reason for the gathering began – a drama session…

They were both pretty good at taking part, considering we don’t really go to stuff like that much and it was all a bit new Monster was a total star. They did stuff like a ball was rolled from child to child and they had to shout a colour, then an animal out as they rolled it – Teeny loved the whole ball rolling thing and Monster was well up for thinking of the most obscure animal he could! Then out came some instruments – rain stick, football rattles, maracas, tambourines etc, they all had a play with them, then were given one each and had to start and stop when they were pointed at, then we all got up and had to be crawling animals, flying animals and swimming animals – again both kids loved it. Finally we sat back in our circle and the lady asked Monster what his favourite animal was – he said a fish and she asked him if he wanted to come and stand in the middle of the circle and show everyone his fish – and he leapt (like a salmon!) at the chance, he got a round of applause (which totally made his day!) and was ably assisted by Teeny, his glamourous sidekick who stoof up with him and was a fish too!

I then left him there while I went back with Teeny to the car to get suncream and when I returned he was sitting on one of the funny steps but was following the next drama group (aimed at the next age group up) and joining in from his distant seat – think we may have found his thing. He really wanted to stay and do some painting (he had spotted the paints to one side for when the drama finished) and I would have done but the venue was not really suitable for small people – he was fine but it was just a matter of time before Teeny hurled herself from some high surface and there were enough remnants of previous events (bottle tops, rizla packets etc) for me to be concerned about leaving her to her own devices too much, so we headed off back to Chris and Julies for the rest of the day.

The four kids played as nicely as ever in the garden all day long, they made a camp under a huge shady tree with chairs, a kitchen and all sorts and Julie and I sat for about an hour in the sun after the kids had abandoned them colouring in pictures in the colouring books with wax crayons – very very theraputic and quite competitive to see who could achieve the best colour blending with the chunky wax crayons – rofl! I coloured an indian next to his teepee wielding an axe, a lighthouse scene and a vase of flowers, Julie did a vegetable selection and a hillbilly! Should have photod them really as we were most proud of our efforts! Chris and Ady arrived back at the same time and we stayed for a further hour having happy family bonding time – oh and arranged another day over there for next week.

Monster went home in Daddys car and Teeny came with me and despite best efforts fell asleep for about 15 minutes which was all it took to ensure she stayed awake tonight till nearly 10pm – I am sure she had a plan to see who would be evicted from BB – as soon as Michelle was announced she fell asleep!! So plans for packing for the weekend, printing out routeplanners, big tidyup to give nosey parents who will be calling in to feed cats a shock at our newly found tidy habits, bath and blogging of a few random things I have been thinking about have all gone out the window in favour of chinese takeaway, packing in the morning, blogging about today before I forget and going to bed very soon as tomorrow will be a long hot journey – and as we all know the heat can make us all cranky and not nice!

ooh the things children say!
 
at the risk of sounding like a TV clip show hosted by Michael Barrymore (anyone else think that the whole concept of the show I’m a celebrity get me out of here and all previous shows have been working up to getting him on it – he is the ultimate contestant for such TV surely?!) have been meaning to blog for ages a few funny things the kids have said and done, so here goes:

having watched me stick all the numbers on the stairs and been told several times why last night Monster told Ady ‘mummy has stuck numbers on the stairs so that next time Teeny falls down them we know how many she fell down’

when he was trying to get me to take him to bed instead of Ady (I am the softer touch at bedtime and far more likely to read’ just one more story oh pleeeeease mummy’ than Ady is) ‘oh but Mummy you are so lovely and your skin is all bouncy’ (meant to be a compliment – rofl!)

on seeing my mum naked when he followed her to get changed ‘granny you are just like mummy, shes got no willy too!’

‘what are all those cracks in your face?’ to his 79 year old great-grandmother.

gotta go out – will add more later