Monday night we returned home from our lovely time away and discovered that Malice’s remaining eye was infected as the other one had been a couple of weeks ago. I got a vet’s appointment for yesterday afternoon but had spent the morning convincing myself that this was probably the end for her. We obviously can’t afford the further vets bills to have the second eye removed and I had to ask myself why we were keeping going and whether Malice actually has any quality of life remaining.
After talking with my SIL on the phone for a while I had pretty much decided that I would take her to the vets and request that they put her to sleep and end any further suffering for her. I spoke to the children about it and explained about euthanasia and that it is not right to keep an animal alive when they are in pain or dying when there is the option to let them go with dignity. About how it is the duty of a responsible pet owner to make those sorts of decisions sometimes, however uncomfortable the concept of ‘playing God’ might be. So that was crap 🙁 Nothing like trying to find the balance when the two worlds of pet ownership and parenthood collide. Yes I can make it better for my children by responding to their pleas for their beloved pet not to die but am I just prolonging the suffering of an elderly, blind cat who is in pain? Or I can do the decent, loving thing by my pet and take on murdress status in the eyes of my five year old son who sits sobbing on my lap begging that I don’t take her to the vets to die.
We talked it through more and I gently explained it in more detail eventually deciding that if she didn’t come back from the vets alive I would come back with her body and we could bury her in the garden with some pictures and letters from the children. I got my Mum to come over to take me to the vets and Ady to come home to look after the children and they all said goodbye to her.
But I’d not reckoned on Malice’s nine lives at that point.
The vet examined her, agreed that yes the eye does indeed need to come out, giving her no-eyed status and cosmetically making her even less of a showcat, the eye removed last week has split open above the line of stitches so you can now clearly see into the cavity where once was an eye, that will need to be attended to. But he then checked inside her mouth to see how well her jaw had set as she is still not really eating other than rice pudding. And he found a large absess / ulcer on the roof of her mouth. Which rather changes things apparently.
This could suggest some sort of infection generally – which would explain both eyes getting infected. It could be coincidental but would certainly explain her lack of appetite or it could be an unrelated to the accident but likely terminal indication of a tumor.
So we’ve been sent away to consider the options. If we decide to proceed the first course of action is an x ray of her skull to determine what the ulcer relates to. If it is something treatable then the eye will need to be removed, the other eye will need to be sewn back shut and the bill will pretty much equal what we’ve already spent. Or we can end it now, but as the vet feels there is still chance of recovery to a high level despite blindness.
So we came home again to discuss it further with my parents. The final decision needed to rest with them as they would have to fund any further treatment. Their decision is that we have come this far and she deserves every possible chance all the time the only consideration is financial they are prepared to continue. So Mum and I have an appointment on Friday with the chief vet to discuss the x ray option with a view to going ahead and seeing just what we’re dealing with.
All of which made for a fairly traumatic and tiring day really. 🙁
Mum and Dad stayed for dinner, which once we’d got past difficult decision making was quite a nice evening, the children struggled to get used to a proper bedtime, let alone a proper bed after nearly a week under canvas.
Today we are off to the local park with Lucy and Julie. I’m taking the children’s bikes and a picnic although it is threatening to pour with rain any moment so quite how long we’ll be there I don’t know.
I have various other things to blog so I’ll be back later 🙂
Nic…thats awful…poor Malice and you and children x
I have had some horrific things happen to my cats over the years, from one being sliced by some evil person and another having a car accident resulting blindness in one eye. Its worrying, expensive and stressfull.
Thinking of you on Friday x
Comment by Leandra — 23 August 2006 @ 8:35 pm