Sunday We slept in and despite planning to leave for a walk and take lunch with us managed to take so long to get going that we ended up eating lunch before we had a walk. I was finding Scarlett a bit challenging – she is so infrequently hard work (or maybe I am over tolerant of her, although that is something I wouldn’t usually dream of accusing myself of I am aware I can be more indulgent of her than probably anyone else in the world…) that I tend to jump all over her when she does something I consider worthy of a telling off. She was doing lots of whinging, asking for things she knew we couldn’t give her (the rent has been late again this month and we were down to just a few pounds until it went in. As it happens it has now been paid but we were not sure of that so were being cautious and refusing to buy things like ice creams), getting really stroppy with everyone about not getting her own way and being rude and impatient with us all, and instigating squabbles with Davies. It is clearly caused by over tiredness, over exposure to TV / games consoles / huge amounts of adult attention / being able to eat and drink whatever she wanted all of last week but became super apparent once we were back in the tiny confines of Willow. Davies has also been marginally testing – he gets so utterly over fussed by my Mum and was playing on that rather and starting to dwell on what he doesn’t have (as in all his toys, the latest lego, trips to the cinema to see the couple of films currently out he would like to watch) rather than what he does have. So I exploded rather at them and asked them to think about what is important to them and whether they are wanting to carry on with this year or start to head back for home and conventionality again. The replies were speedy reassurances that they want to be doing what we’re doing. We had another incident today which I’ll mention later after which we had another chat and really I think it was the release of the pressure of always being ‘on’ – either with hosts or with my parents, which is pretty intense and I know I struggle with at times so totally understandable. It’s odd doing something like this as you still have the same parenting issues and dilemmas but have to approach them in a different way and quite possible over-think and blame quite normal kid behaviour on their quite exceptional circumstances.
Anyway, once we’d eaten we headed off to the beach. It was the Morecambe Sandcastle Festival on Saturday and Sunday which we’d not explored on the previous day so headed for on the Sunday instead. We walked rather slowly along the beach though, taking in the fantastic bird displays on various railings – there are metal painted seabirds of all sorts all around the town and they are lovely. There are various other art installations including statues of Eric Morecambe and a moonwalk which we didn’t do but looked really interesting.
When we eventually reached the site of the sandcastle competitions that had all finished but we were able to view the entries; some of which were really good, others rather more amateur and this inspired Davies and Scarlett to do some of their own creating a little further down the beach. Ady and I sat on the rocks watching, chatting and listening to the band who were playing as part of the festival entertainment. Their repertoire was rather limited to Ricky Martin songs (most of which they sang at least twice), classic summer songs such as ‘Hey Baby’ and ‘Feeling hot, hot, hot!’ and a few Amy Winehouse tracks which were actually quite good as the female singer had a nice voice.
We ended up sitting there for over 3 hours as the kids first built a very intricate sandcastle and then constructed an elaborate series of walls to try and defend it from the incomming tide. Ady and I had bets about how long it would take and I made a sand ladybird and a sand seagull and a set of markers to time the tide. We also had a very silly game of tag which D&S seemed oblivious to but I was aware of catching the attention of another few adults on the beach 😆 Eventually we pried the children away and set off back to the campsite. We called into the Co Op on the way for some dinner supplies and thanks to the reduced to clear section and a few special offers managed to get some real bargains meaning we could also have a bottle of cider, an ice cream each for the kids on the way home and a tub of cream to go with a tin of fruit cocktail we already had in the van :).
We had dinner, I read to the kids and had a long catch up phonecall with Julie who had been expecting a call last week but I’d not managed it due to no signal. She is coming up with the kids in a couple of weeks and we’re having a few nights camping with them in North Wales before we head to Scotland which will be fantastic – we’re missing them and they are missing us, five months is way too long!
Today We set the alarm and got up, fed, packed away and on the road just after 9. We struggled slightly to find this place but eventually tracked it down and were given a lovely warm welcome from Ruth, Andy and twins Rochelle and Hollie. This is a big (nine bedroom, four storey) house in North Yorkshire (near the border though) sitting in 2.5 acres of land including some woodland, large gardens, a river running through, veg patch, chickens. The original house was a large 70s house that has been extensively extended and changed and is now just stunning. Andy and Ruth have two older (in their twenties, no longer living at home) daughters and are foster carers; currently to five children with a sixth due here for respite care next week, another two or three here unofficially and a grand total of something like 42 children over the last 20 years altogether. The current residents are 13 year old twin girls, a pair of brothers aged 16 and 18 and an 8 year old girl with cerepral palsy who is totally immobile and has no speech. Very humbling to meet a child almost the identical age to Scarlett who cannot even really hold her own head up and is fed by a tube watching my daughter leaping on a trampoline, paddling in the river and wolfing down her food at the table.
Also here at the moment is Ruth’s cousin who has a broken foot so has extended her visit from Amsterdam but is leaving this week, Ruth’s sister who lives in a bender in the garden and makes the most amazing art from recycled and waste materials – in our bunkhouse there is a very cool lamp made with a plastic water bottle base stuffed with plastic beauty product packaging. It’s like staying at the Dumping Ground in Tracy Beaker! There were 14 of us for dinner tonight and various other people dropping in and arriving and coming and going all the time.
We’re staying in a straw bale bunk house just off of the main house. It has a musty, damp smell to it but it’s not actually cold or damp. It has mains electric and lighting, a table and chairs, and a funny bunk bed system of a platform just off the floor with a double and single mattress, then another platform suspended above that with another double and single mattress that can be pulled up when not in use. It is very basic but perfectly cosy and comfortable. Ady is slightly freaked out by the stains on the mattresses but we have covered them with clean sheets and are instide our own sleeping bags, using our own pillows. He is also not liking the no curtains on the windows but we’ll bring some fleece blankets in from the van tomorrow to drape at the windows to combat that. The kids think it is cool and are fast asleep from a full day playing and I am very relaxed and enjoying the idea of yet another interesting place to tick off having slept in.
I think the work here will be fairly random – today we did some mowing and strimming and have already been told there is some painting to do, some wood store stacking and maybe wood chopping, some helping to assemble solar panels, some building and stone walling. But we’ve been told we can make our own hours and work when we like and offered adventures like going caving one afternoon with Andy (caving is one of his hobbies), walks around the area, a trip to the open air swimming pool, going to the cinema etc. so although we will undoubtedly be lacking structure and roughing it a bit with sleeping arrangements we will certainly not be worked to death and there are some really interesting people here to hang out with and chat to.
Ruth and Andy are really involved in the local community and help run the local shop which is co operatively owned by the village and run with volunteers working in it, play music at the local pub and are heavily involved with the church too. At 830pm the wine bottles came out as I get the feeling they may do most nights and they seem very interested in Home Ed and love the fact that D&S were off playing in the river and clambering up trees as none of the foster kids here play like that or ever have done so were quite enchanted by as they put it our ‘swallows and amazons children’ :). I think it will be an interesting one :).