Soundtrack to your life…
When we first got broadband I went into a frenzy of music downloading of all those forgotten fave tracks making cds out of them, and it got me to thinking about how films have soundtracks and we all have soundtracks to our lives. There are songs which can make us happy or sad just with the opening bars, songs which could have just been written about us, songs which remind us of people, places, holidays, times in our lives and so on. Some of mine are not even favourite songs – some I actually quite dislike but when I hear them on the radio I am instantly taken to a memory of mine. I did post about this on a list somewhere (have a feeling it might have been Fluff) but its quite a fun exercise – shows your age and one day I might even get around to making the cd of the tracks:
early childhood – The Carpenters – Yesterday Once More – I so clearly remember my mum singing this when I was very small at the first house I lived in (we left there when I was 3). The Beatles – Octopus’ Garden – similar sort of memory
school age – Abba – Super Trouper – I think this might have been a Christmas number one – I can clearly remember it being on TOTP and Dad (who was not given to such behaviour as a rule!) singing along and being generally silly, Bucks Fizz – Land of Make Believe – I remember the ‘cool girls’ at school doing a little dance routine to this in the playground and looking on all enviously at them for being so cool!
First Pop Idol – The one, the only Shakin Stevens and Green Door – I had this big life sized picture of Shaky on my bedroom wall and used to kiss it goodnight (by climbing up my bookcase!) every night till the big around his nose and mouth got too soggy and disintergrated!
First record I knew all the words to – There probably were others, much earlier but I distinctly recall stopping the tape to write down a line then playing it back to check, then listening to the next line and so on to Matt Bianco – I say yeh-yeh oh and BandAid too.
First record I bought – I know I had Now albums from earlier than this – I distinctly recall getting a walkman for Christmas and a Now album with Fergal Sharkey – a Good Heart on it but the first album I bought with my own money was Rick Astley – so Never Gonna Give You Up would have to be in there!
First Kiss – ah, the memories! The radio was playing in his car and he sang along to Leo Sayer – when I need love before he kissed me…
First Broken Heart – Elton John – Baby’s got blue eyes…
Going out clubbing and being a teenager – sad but true – anything by 2 Unlimited!
Studenty A levels tracks – Sit Down – James & EMF Unbelievable. Top tunes! Oh and They Might Be Giants – Birdhouse in your soul and KLF Justified and Ancient remind me of that same time when I had got my first car – a bright yellow mini which I used to drive with the stereo up full blast listening to these tracks.
Our song! Ady and I got together around the time Gabrielle – Dreams was in the charts and the words sounded appropriate and its a nice tune too!
Wedding song – There was much debate about what to have as our ‘first dance’ song at our wedding. In the end we chose Harry Connick Jnr – It had to be you which I love and sing to the children still now. My one regret is that one the actual night of our wedding we went to a very posh restaurant in Vegas with a pianist playing and singing – we so should have requested he play this for us, but didn’t.
Song for Monster – I sing Every Time we say goodbye to him which is guaranteed to get him to sleep, but his own favourite songs also remind me of him. He has loads, but a selection are: Monster Mash – Boris and someone or other , Ramalamadingdong – Darts , Rock DJ – Robbie Williams , Move Your Feet – Junior Senior, Mack the Knife, Lady is a tramp. Dido’s thankyou – is another one which reminds me of being pregnant and having a small baby.
Songs for Teeny – we went to see Will Young (yes, I know!) in concert when I was quite heavily pregnant with Teeny so that is sort of her womb music! Her getting to sleep song is Que Sera Sera and she also likes swing music like face the music and dance.
Sad songs – one’s which just always create a tear – Queen – who wants to live forever, Sugababes New Year – both played at two very sad funerals I’ve been to where the people had died far far too young.
Probably my favourite songs – if forced to choose my top five I guess these would be contenders:
Rod Stewart – I don’t want to talk about it
Mr Big – Be with you
Meredith Brookes – Bitch
Elton John – Your Song
A ‘real’ Sunday!
That’s what we’ve had today, we awoke and all four of us spent an hour cuddled up in our bed together (mainly cos our guests were still asleep on our lounge floor!) with the smalls watching Peter Pan on dvd on our telly while we sneakily had extra zeds. I came down with the smalls and gave them their milk in the playroom before Ady came down too and Bruce and Jean got up. Plenty of tea and toast later and they set off while Ady rushed round the shop to get the Sunday papers.
He then did a spot of clearing the garage while I pegged out washing and made lunch (we were Mr and Mrs stereotype for a short while there 🙂 ), then we set off for Chris and Julie’s. Teeny had a bit of a ‘moment’ when I put her new boots on her instead of her doodles, she then got nearly hysterical at the prospect of wearing a cardigan so she went out without one under the premise that she won’t freeze to death in September and if she’s cold enough she will come and ask for her cardigan! Unfortunately the moment meant she knackered herself out to such a degree that despite me trying to tickle her and Monster trying to make her laugh she fell asleep in the car on the way over there. She clearly ran around sufficiently to wear herself out as she was still asleep tonight by 7.30pm.
We had a lovely couple of hours over there doing real family stuff – it’s odd cos as Ady and Chris didn’t grow up together and I knew Ady as ‘familyless’ for the first ten years I knew him we were all saying how much we love refering to each other – they bought us an anniversary card with ‘Brother and Sister-in-law’ on it and we were saying how we like talking about each other to other people (see Clinton Cards make a fortune out of folk like us!). The kids all ran around playing together and had their tea together before we finally came home at about 6.30pm. So family stuff and roast dinners – what Sunday’s were made for – oh and did I mention that there is no work tomorrow – or for the next two weeks!
Another one of my ‘Nic is reading the paper and getting outraged about issues’ links.
Well isn’t this just what we’ve been saying all week?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,176-1257318,00.html
Bravo Minette!
Pesky bloody blogger!
I posted last night but when I went round the blogring this morning its not there and it seems to be lost with various other posts in the big black space that is bloggermuda triangle. Grr!
So to recap on yesterday – can’t really be arsed to think it all through again – I had a big lay in cos Teeny had been up loads in the night, then sorted out the bookcase as my big task of the day – I have halved my collection of frothy chicklit down to two shelves – a local bookshop will give me a quid for every three which is criminal compared to the fiver each I paid for them but I can’t really see any other way of getting more for them and it’s better to get 33 p each and be shot of the them than to keep them collecting dust and taking up valuable space in the house. We now have all the photo albums on the top shelf and the kids board books on the bottom shelf. We decided last night that we are going to get a bigger bookshelf from Ikea next time we make a trip that way, then we can have all my Home Ed and parenting books on the shelf too, all the bedtime story books from Monster’s room so that Teeny can start to enjoy them too and all the educational books I have been collecting over the last year – we have a massive amount of dinosaur ones, some on religion, children’s atlas, encyclopedias etc. I really want all the kids books to be accessible to them, and a bit mixed up too so that they can just go and grab whatever book takes their eye instead of segregating them into fun, bedtime or learning.
Later Ady did some gardening while I took the kids over to the doctors surgery fundraising fete, saw our HV there (who is actually very nice and was all interested about HE when I told her although she has probably ratted on me to the LEA!) and bought a couple more books for 10pence each – Aesops Fables and a big Mr Men activity book. While we were out Ady got a phone call from Bruce and Jean – our very close friends who we have been on holiday with and always have a good time with – although those times are rarer and slightly more sensible since we had the kids! And they came over last night. Jean’s mum died recently after a very long and nasty illness – they knew she was going to die, it was just a question of when so they have had a mad couple of months – Jean’s family from America have been staying and the funeral was earlier this week – they really needed a good evening to drink lots, laugh and relieve some of the stress of the last few months – which we were more than happy to provide!
So plenty to drink, a lovely indian takeaway, plenty of laughing at the X factor and lots of silly conversations – they have just left filled with tea and toast and promises to see each other again soon.
Another friend also arrived yesterday afternoon for an hour or so – well I say friend, he is actually my ex boyfriend and one of Ady’s friends – all a long time ago and very amicable now, infact we all lived together for six months a few years ago – but that’s another story! It was nice to see him and catch up on old friends news – we seem to see people he doesn’t and vice versa so that was a good old gossip!
Reading round the blog ring quickly this morning it seems a few people are a bit down at the moment for various reasons – at least two people have commented on how cruel other people can be. One of the things I really want to teach my children is respect for others beliefs and thoughts and ideas and tolerance for those who are different to us. But and its a big but that is sort of not human nature really is it? We are not really very nice creatures are we? Most of us are selfish, as the article I posted a link to a while back talked about we tend to measure ourselves against others and be happier when we find others lacking or less fortunate that ourselves, we gossip, we tend not to think of others feelings or the consequences of our actions in relation to others. Even us watching X factor last night was partially so we could have a good old laugh at all the deluded people who thought they had talent and were so clearly wrong. We love to watch and criticise people on shows like Wife Swap, Supernanny and so on. In the main I consider myself a ‘good’person, I am a good, loyal friend and would put myself out for and do things for others, I try to be supportive and helpful to those I care about and would never knowingly hurt someone either physically or mentally unless really goaded into doing it, but I also know that I am truly guilty of all of the above no so nice traits too. No real answers just a bit of pondering – but y’know us Kermit types can be a bit deep and philosophical like that 🙂
Today (although we are midway through it already!) we have a spot of garage tidying planned although that may not happen, and then over to Chris and Julie’s for a couple of hours this afternoon, then roast lamb tonight – bliss!
and as I would have laid money on, this was Teeny!
You are Animal.You are completely nuts, but fun to be around.
SPECIAL TALENTS:Drums, Women, Food.HOBBIES:Drums, Women, Food.
FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:”Louder!”, “Food now!” and
“Want Woman!”
LAST BOOK EATEN:”The Musicians’ Guide to Drums, Women &
Food”
NEVER LEAVES HOME WITHOUT:An appetite.
What Muppet are you?
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And Monster (done on his behalf by me) is….
You are Sweetums.A hard exterior covers up the soft sweet center of
your soul. And you love to eat humans.
SPECIAL TALENTS:Really big dance steps.FAVORITE MOVIE:”Big”
QUOTE:”Wait for me!”
LAST BOOK READ:”Taming Your Outer Beast”
NEVER LEAVES HOME WITHOUT:Robin the Frog
What Muppet are you? Ady is…. actually quite predictably…. What Muppet are you? ahem, girl’s bits! Hurray, Hurrah, Ady’s on holiday! General ponderings on a mixed day… What’s going on? Ninth of the ninth, ninety nine… In the news today… and this : http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,172-1251796,00.html I am not an activist, I do not feel it is down to me to spread the word but I feel horrified that so few people are aware of HE as an option. There is no pressure on people to choose it, indeed it most certainly would not be right probably for the majority of parents and children but to honestly feel you HAVE to send your child to school – when it gets this serious – is abhorant and needs to be dealt with. I know that it will likely never happen but each and every parent and child in this country needs to know that HE is an option – and a legal one in the same way that we all know you can choose to pay and send your child to private school… From The Times – schools to be 10 hours a day proposal Mmmmmm books! (a cop out I know but needed to list ’em!) Light, laughter and love to all! and then suddenly Monster clutched my arm and stage whispered ‘Mummy, look it’s Boots!’ and sure enough there nestled amoung the grubby soft toys and hand knitted teddies in lurid colours was Boots the monkey – side kick to Dora and arch enemy of Swiper in mint condition for the bargain price of £1.95. So naturally we swiped him and got him to the till pretty darn sharpish! Teeny was thrilled and I forsee him becoming new favourite toy! Monster then found a Mike (from Monsters Inc) Happy Meal toy for 30p which pleased him. We then went into a big newsagents where I got all the various balloons, Guess who’s 4 badges, banners and birthday cards for next week too so that’s that all sorted. We stopped at the bakers for a cake each which we ate in the car and then home. Teeny has fallen asleep which is good as it means she will be nicer to play with the others this afternoon (she gets a bit grumpy around 3pm if she hasn’t had a nap) and ususally bodes well for a decent nights sleep too. So all is well with the world! See how shallow I am! Kids. think thats it, which is more than plenty! As always we have both been collecting bits for a while and putting them aside for his birthday and now there is quite a pile. However some of the of the stuff is things we would have given him anyway but have been keeping back for his birthday instead. Teeny has a Jessie hat – my parents always got us a small gift on each others birthday (very relevant as mine is January 6th and Bro’s is mid May so all my celebrations are over within a fortnight, while his are nicely spaced – Teeny being a December baby has the same thing). I’m going to ask Monster what he wants to do on his actual birthday tomorrow but I have in mind a fairly quiet day – as we have a manic two weeks otherwise – with maybe a family lunch at the local Beefeater or similar where I can bring his cake along too. That would include Mum, Dad, Great Granny, Uncle and us four. Chris and Julie don’t ‘do’ restaurants but we are also planning to keep our usual Wednesday afternoon date with Rachel & E and Kerry & EL and maybe invite a few other small people along and do a bit of a pass the parcel, balloon popping type thing the day after his birthday. I also noticed in Sainsburys today they sell pinatas which given the kids Dora obsession would go down well! I also (and I know its very early) am planning a Halloween party which I am getting quite excited about! More on that to follow! So not the best of days, but one we can put behind us and move forward from. I think (and sincerely hope!) Monster has learnt a bit from all the crap the last two days – I certainly have. Ady is very aware that I am reaching the point of needing him to just get the kids away from me for a bit – the ironic thing is that the instant they are not with me I miss them terribly which proves I am doing the right thing but that I just need a bit more time out than I am getting currently. I really think the next couple of weeks will bring positive stuff – I am doing some work on Ady’s behalf which at worst should enhance and develop his job, at best may just provide me with some work (of the paying variety!) too so that is in the pipeline and I am determined to get at least one issue of my parenting mag out if only to say I had a bash! Tomorrow we are at Rachel’s in the afternoon, at Julie’s on Thursday, Nikki (new HE chum with two DDs) on Friday and then its two weeks off with all the assorted stuff we have organised so the week is all up from here! Off to bed before Teeny awakes 🙂 From today’s Times – how parents are choosing boarding school as the cheaper option compared to childcare – Hmmmmm Juice, Jam tarts and Julie…
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You are Kermit the Frog.You are reliable, responsible and caring. And you
have a habit of waving your arms about
maniacally.
FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:”Hi ho!” “Yaaay!” and
“Sheesh!”FAVORITE MOVIE:”How Green Was My Mother”
LAST BOOK READ:”Surfin’ the Webfoot: A Frog’s Guide to the
Internet”
HOBBIES:Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.
QUOTE:”Hmm, my banjo is wet.”
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I sort of wasn’t going to blog about this, but have just been to a site I used to go to a lot and havn’t been to in a while and it’s there as one of the lead stories (www.badmothersclub.co.uk for interested parties!) and we talked about it yesterday at Julie’s and again the week before and it does seem to come up a fair old bit so I’m going to (blog about it that is).
Firstly the fact that since she has been nappyless for a good part of the day is the fact that Teeny has a tendancy to fiddle, and not just fiddle, she also inserts. She fiddled the other day having eaten some torillas (lightly salted variety) and spent a good ten minutes roaming the house clutching herself saying ‘uh oh, wee-wee, sore, uh-oh’ and today Monster came a running to tell me that Teeny’s no willy was sore, with blood and everything (it wasn’t, but she clearly had been showing him in some detail!). Now when Monster first had access to his previously hidden anatomy he did play for a while, until he came running one day to tell me he had broken his willy and it had gone all hard. So I (wo) manfully tackled the topic in language a two and a half year old could comprehend without the need for therapy or mucking him up for future girlfriends or anything and he has never really been bothered since – he still has the odd fondle but then so do most bloked ten times his age and beyond!
So yesterday we were talking generally and Katy in hushed tones asked whether we had started potty training (her DD is 2 next month) and when I said yes she asked whether she erm inserted stuff, yes I replied in equally hushed tones. She then shared the comedy story of how her DD is capable of picking up and dropping fake pennies in the manner of an asian showlady. We discussed whether this was infact a natural skill possessed by all women but shamed out of us in early toddlerhood and then came onto the inevitable topic of what do you call female genitalia?
The thing is it is rarely referred to – anywhere. In books when there is sex mentioned there are cocks, dicks, willies and even pulsating manhoods everybloodywhere. Women – they sometimes become ‘moist’ but thats about as descriptive as it gets. For boys and men it is quite simple and straightforward – its a willy and the dangly bits well they are balls or testicles. For girls, aside from the whole no universally acceptable phrase there is not even an encompassing graphically and correct term to cover the whole shebang anyway. So we discussed some of the many and varied options we have overheard:
Flower – very nice but also highly confusing.
Twinkle – hmm, again quite cutesty and pretty but gives a whole new meaning to Twinkle, twinkle little start.
Lily – I used to quite like this – mainly cos it rhymed with willy – but I know of a couple of little girls called Lily and its also quite a commonly seen flower which would again cause confusion.
Foo-foo- what my Mum called it, so by definition too cringeworthy to go with, but also summons up mental images of a pampered poodle!
Front bottom – erm, no!
wee-wee – probably not a dreadful one although as we called erm urine wee-wee again a bit confusing although Teeny does seem to have adopted this as her own!
Tuppeny – has simply too many prositute-y connotations for my liking
Fanny – just don’t like it, I would never call mine my fanny and it always makes me giggle when I read Famous Five books cos of it!
Downstairs / parts / girls bits etc – just too wide and not descriptive enough.
No-willy – our term of choice at the moment – coined by Monster when he first came to supervise a newborn nappy change of Teeny’s. He watched as the nappy was removed and the wipes and lotion applied before gasping and exclaiming ‘Mummy, Teeny’s got no willy!’ and it stuck, and its sort of accurate and frankly unless someone can come up with or convince me otherwise its probably what we’ll stick with!
Ladies and gentlemen I throw this one open! Now that doesn’t sound right but having typed it and giggled I feel it only fair to let you have a giggle at it too. Unless you are all too mature and grown up and tutting at our silliness already.
A good day today really all things considered. After going to sleep like a perfect angel last night Monster has been a perfect child (well as close as he’s ever going to get!) all day. By contrast Teeny has been a little testing but no more so that the average nearly 2 year old, and frankly she pretty much deserves her turn – she has waited patiently taking copious notes all week while Monster played up!
We have not left the house all day and although I have endeavoured to make myself a bit more available to them – I think every time they have come to find me to show me something or to ask me to join in I have left whatever I have been doing and gone along for a short while before coming back to my own tasks – I have certainly not spent the whole day at their beck and call either. They have both eaten well all day which always serves to make me feel like a virtuous ‘real’ mother too.
Dad has been around for most of the day putting up a fence with a gate in the garden and attaching some picket fence to the wall to make it a more Teeny-proof garden space. It would not prevent her from ever getting out of the garden again by any means but will certainly mean she won’t be running onto the road again anytime soon. Which is a relief. So he joined us for lunch and was climbed all over by both children – which was nice to see and they all enjoyed – he doesn’t do nearly enough granddaddy stuff like that with them – probably not comfy under the eagle eye of my mother!
So we have played with the wooden train track (he is due a fair few more bits of it from various people for his birthday which he will be thrilled with), the wooden blocks to build houses and other bits to go round it, the puzzles (which Teeny is getting really quite good at) and did a small amount of book reading – we have got various bits and pieces of Letterland stuff which was not really a conscious decision but having read a couple of the short books today I quite like them and think they will be good for letter recognition and so on for both of them. I am starting to guide what they play with a little more, very covertly of course, but we were getting into the realms of them choosing either the same toys day in day out and never getting the value of the huge variety of toys we have cluttering the house, or getting everything out creating a huge mess and not actually playing with any of it. So I am sort of rotating the toys and bringing out a box of two of stuff early each day and seeing where that takes us. This morning it was the wooden train set which led to the wooden blocks coming out and Monster went and fetched the puzzles himself sparked off by something we talked about (can’t remember what!). He seems to have been a bit more challenged and focused today and I am also aware he has put in a huge effort to behave today as he has asked me several times if he is being a good boy and whether I am proud of him and if so then how proud. Bless 🙂
Ady is now home and off for two whole weeks, which we have loads planned for. This weekend and Monday we are going to try and tidy the house up a bit, the walls seem to be closing in on us so some stuff needs to go (also to make way for birthday gifts for Monster next week, Teeny in December and then of course all the new stuff which will be here at Christmas 🙂 ), Tuesday is his actual birthday and we are going out for lunch with my parents and brother and grandmother, then on to buy him some pet fish. Wednesday we are having a few children over for a bit of a party and then on Thursday we are off to Windsor for a couple of nights – taking in Legoland on the Friday and maybe a few other attractions if I can manage to find some places of note on the net. We are back late Saturday and then off again on Monday to London for two nights. We have a trip on the London Eye booked and plan to do a tour bus, the Natural History museum and maybe Tussauds – my parents are coming with us. Then it is the twins second birthday on the Thursday so Marwell Zoo has been proposed and that will be the two weeks all but gone! The following week is the MudPud London meet (with TV cameras!) which I am really, really looking forward to – even had a jumbled dream about meeting you all the other night, except it was set in the house we lived at in Manchester – the only person I can clearly remember was Jax, but as the only picture I have seen of her is the doctored bald one I am guessing she may look a little different in the flesh!
So fair advance warning that blogging will be a bit random for the next couple of weeks – with no doubt many many pictures as and when it does happen. I will of course be taking the lap top and using the TravelInns fab high speed net connection so I’ll still be about.
Over to Julie’s today, but as we were out the house before 9am (I know, see we could even do school!) we went over to the local Matalan to their house on the hunt for further ponchos! Rachel has decided that she wants one for the new baby and Julie would like one for Maisie. Ady had surprised me with a massive chrome stand full of lavender (my total and utter favourite) bath and body stuff for our anniversary despite us agreeing we wouldn’t do pressies so I also wanted to get him a token something. No ponchos but I did get a pair of perfect boots I have been searching for without knowing what I really wanted for me and a couple of really nice shirts for Ady – oh and a new pillow for me too (lavender scented, naturally!) before heading off to Julie’s. We arrived to find Katy and her two children there – who we have met before at an Activeo meeting once although they didn’t join in the end – it happened to be the meeting that Ady came to and Katy’s DP was there too and they chatted for a while too.
Katy has a son a bit older than Monster and a daughter a bit older that Teeny, and a third one on the way. She is very sweet and fitted in well with me and Julie – as did her two children. The six of them played really quite well together with fairly few minor spats – mainly between the three sets of siblings instead of with others anyway. However Monster has again been nagged and nagged by me today – all for lots of things I can’t even really recall now so nothing serious but all behavioural things which he knows better than and I expect more of him than and even worse he knows that. I would actually be very grateful for any tips or ideas on this, particularly any reading or theories anyone has had any luck with. I am more than prepared to concede that it is my own behaviour or expectations that require modifying as well as his and could probably do with some technique or idea to refer to to help keep my calm. At the moment I seem to be spending my time either nagging, shouting at or threatening him while he spends his time being definant, repentant or clearly attention seeking. I had thought it might be a bit of competition with Teeny but weirdly when she is out of the equation not only is he better he is less likely to hassle me – twice this week when she has gone for a nap and I have expected him to want to spend time exlcusively with me while he has the chance he has not wanted it and would rather spend the time playing alone, but if I try to take her away to do something with her and leave him alone he comes along and disrupts whatever we are trying to do. I am sure this is all blatantly clear to some child psych expert but its baffling me! I have also considered that maybe it is not just coincidental that this is the age he would have started pre-school at and perhaps he is ready to be challenged more or to learn something new – one of the tasks I have set myself for the next couple of weeks while Ady is off is to start preparing some small lesson type things for him to do. He does love to acquire new skills and feel he has learnt something and get all the associated praise for it so maybe I have shied away from formal stuff when it is something he does need albeit in small doses.
Anyway, whatever happens something needs to change, I am getting crosser and crosser which results in guilt and way too much introspection when he goes to sleep, he is getting nagged and being shouted at way too much and I do believe that often bad behaviour can become a self fulfilling prophesy and don’t want his behaviour to become a problem just because it has started to appear like it might. Ady has said he will focus a bit on Monster over the next couple of weeks and spend some more father son time with him which might help, but I think we need to have a firmer set of reward and punishment guidelines for him as at the moment the usual one, two, three is getting a bit ineffectual. I an sure part of this is that I had a false impression of what his and other children of his age’s behaviour was like. Until we moved here we didn’t mix with lots of other children really and Monster was almost adultlike in his manner, so I think a consequence of mixing with lots of other children over recent months means he has learnt to behave like one!
I have managed over this week to seperate the issue from being a HE one – it so isn’t and my threats to send him to school at various points have in retrospect been foolish – a) its not gonna happen anyway and b) what would that prove or help? The one thing that oddly has not been compromised is our relationship (mine and Monster’s), he is at great pains, even when being really told off to check the mantra that even when I am cross with him I still love him. He is always repentant and always desperate for physical comfort – cuddles, kisses and so on (he is a very demonstrative child that way, especially with me) and tonight when Ady put him to bed and told him that he is compromising his amount of Christmas presents by being naughty as Father Christmas is always watching, then told him (he went to bed and to sleep like a perfect angel tonight) that he had redeemed himself and won them back he said he didn’t care about the presents he just wanted to know if Mummy was happy with him. Emotional blackmail I know but I do tell him that he makes me very sad and disappointed and lets himself and me down when he behaves badly and if he really is naughty then I do withold cuddles which he hates.
This is all quite deep and I am reflective about it rather than desperately unhappy or worried, in general life is good and I can’t wait for our two weeks off, I just wanted to get it documented and maybe even get a bit of feedback or tips. I just remember my mum shouting at us – highly ineffectually- a lot and even saying that she got sick of the sound of her own voice. That is not the way I want to be, to be viewed by the kids or others, or the relationship I want with them. I know they are children and as such will have their moments but a better way of dealing with it at the time then putting it behind us would be nice.
Anyway tomorrow Dad is coming to fix the fence up to prevent Runaway Teeny from escaping onto the road if she does break free from the house, which will be a relief – and also means we can play in the garden without me constantly on my feet chasing her, Ady is planning to finish early and then that’s it – HOLLLLIIIIIDAYYYY! 🙂
a wedding pic as promised 
With my blog? All the posts start half way down the page. Don’t like it, don’t want it, don’t know how to change it…Grrrr
Nena (ninety nine red balloons), The Nolans…
My last alliterative heading – mainly cos they were drifting away from being alliterative anyway and I had gotten bored. New game to commence with next posting.
So 09/09/99 – five years ago today and the day we got married. Very self indulgent I know but it is my blog so I’m going to have a short reminiss about the day… feel free to skip it if you have an aversion to other people’s romance and stuff…
Five years and three weeks ago we had two weeks holiday booked off work and didn’t know where we wanted to go but we wanted to do ‘something different’. We’d been together for six years and already had a house and two cats together and had a random idea about getting married someday somewhere somehow (never had the down on one knee, asking my dad first or engagement ring mind you!). So I think it was maybe inspired by Friends going to Las Vegas we came up with it as a plan. Went to the travel agents and were totally sold on the idea of a certain wedding package in their catalogue – get married at one of the chapels, take a limo to the airport, go to the Grand Canyon by helicopter where you land and have a champagne lunch followed by a helicopter trip back over the Las Vegas strip before landing and returning to the hotel by limo again. We had always said that when we did get married it would be a day about us, not about the 150 odd family and friends and distant relatives getting a free lunch (and £15 a head or something even more ridiculous) while we ran around worrying about everything else and ended up tired and needing the honeymoon as a recuperative holiday from all the stress! We are not religious so it would not have been a church wedding and I have been to several dos at the very unromantic local registery office so it was Las Vegas or Gretna Green for us!
We asked my parents and brother if they wanted to join us, they did so back to the travel agents we went to book it up, only to find they were booked up for that particular wedding package (clearly they only allocate so many to each booker) so we booked the flights and the hotel through them and came home to find out more about wedding packages on the internet. We found the package we wanted and booked in online! (very modern and new millenium I know!) the date was pure coincidence – we were flying out on the 7th and thought we would want at least one day there before the wedding so it was only as I typed in the date that I realised it was an exceptional one – on the news in Vegas that day they were saying that it was the busiest day of the year for them so far.
Anyway, I would recommend a three week arrangement time to anyone – no time to worry about losing weight for the big day, had to go and find the dress (not weddingy at all) in a short space of time, Ady hired a tux out there as he would have no occassion to be wearing a suit like that again ever! We booked a party for friends to come and celebrate with us after we came home which was a fantastic night and the whole thing from start to finish was romantic, lovely and special.
Anyway, enough of all that, I will dig out a pic to blog in a bit just to complete my happy anniversary tale and apologies for the gooeyness of all this!
Today we are off to Julie’s and I cannot concentrate anymore as the kids have the instruments box out and Monster keeps yelling into the microphone thingy ‘Ladies and Gentleburrss, welcome to our show’ before whacking the hell out of the xylophone, Teeny is bashing a tamborine with a jingle bell thing and the noise level is generally preventing me from typing any more!
was this article:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-1252247,00.html possibly the most personally disturbing article I’ve seen on the whole tragic situation.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1252764,00.html
I was discussing this with Rachel today – even though her son does go to school. She used to be a nanny for wealthy parents and arrived before the child woke up and then the mother would arrive home after the child was bathed and pj’d in time to give him his last bottle and put him in his bed.
I don’t wish to be judgemental and appreciate that (although they drive me to absolute insanity!) I am probably at the complete other end of this spectrum but I would love to see some research or surveys into exactly what motivates people to decide to have children today. Because in our world it is a choice – there are probably only very few ‘accidental’ pregnancies nowadays, and while I understand that not everyone has the luxury of giving up work to be a full time stay at home parent I do wonder what people feel they get out of having children they are so rarely around to see. This was also inspired by the article yesterday about boarding school being the cheaper option than school plus childcare. We no longer have children just because that’s ‘what you do’ once you grow up and get married, it is often a conscious choice and while I don’t think you should totally give up your life once you reproduce I do think that children deserve more than simply becomming an additional expense each month and wonder how much enriching of your life is possible with weekend only access to them…
Michael Jackson, Mike and the Mechanics…
Just got home to find my order from The Book People sat on the doorstep – hurrah! So below is the list:
Letterland age 2-4 set of five books to start with Teeny and get Monster aquainted with the Letterland folk
Letterland age 5-7 set of five books (not sure why I didn’t get the age 3-6 instead but I didn’t so I guess these will have to do, or if the first ones are a success then I might place another order for the middle set)
Letts English Basics two books for ages 3-4 / 4-5
Letts Maths Basics – two books for ages 3-4 / 4-5
Letts Fun Learning series – count to 20, Letters, Words, Add up and take away, First Alphabet, First Words, First Numbers, First Counting
Letterland – set of six workbooks on various things
DK Eyewitness books set – Whale, Shark, Volcano, Rock & Mineral, Space Exploration, Castle, Viking, Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt, Weather.
What a haul eh?!
Now I know I said I had seen the light as far as autonomous learning goes and indeed I have; but I still think it would be nice to set up a proper library for the kids with lots of reference books. Monster also actually really enjoys the odd workbook (very extrinsically rewarded child that Monster!) and I really think a bit of ‘set’ stuff would do them both good at this stage. Currently we seem to be totally emersed in the socialising side of stuff – which is grand, but I also feel I am maybe doing Monster especially, a bit of a disservice by not doing anything in the way of edging towards reading and writing when he is clearly showing signs of being ready.
In amoung the things I will include when I do my joblist over the next couple of days is to list all the many books I have acquired over the last few months and put them into some sort of organised library for them. I think I may even clear the bottom shelf of my bookcase so they are accessible for them all the time – I think given my current state of mind about all things HE / school I would feel better if I could have some evidence that we are achieving something – sure I will change my mind again (with the weather – lol!) but that’s todays feelings anyway!
Lionel Richie, Limahl, Lulu…
Thought I would post while I am feeling all happy, upbeat and positive about everything just so my blog doesn’t turn into one long moan! The eagle eyed amoung you may spot a bit of a pattern to my moods (i.e. they improve when I have been shopping!).
Up early again today – Teeny slept through the night and although Monster ended up in our bed at some point he simply snuggles up and goes to sleep so you don’t really notice he’s there. I kind of assumed he might end up with us last night as whenever him and I have a fall out it tends to affect his sleeping (he probably has nightmares of me standing looming over him shrieking poor lamb!) and with no particular place to go we ended up in Broadwater – a very small area of Worthing with a bit of a high street and a fair few charity shops. Last time we were there (while waiting for the car to be fixed) we saw a great big box of about 50 reference books all do to with the human body – a sort of series for kids with ones on muscles, blood, the brain and so on. It was only £15 which was a real bargain but for various reasons we talked ourselves out of buying them – I didn’t expect them to still be there but had earmarked that shop as somewhere that someone with stuff like that obviously donates to.
Anyway, there was nothing in that shop, but in the next one in the 10p for all kids books box we picked up:
Katrina and the waves, KC and the Sunshine Band, Kool and the Gang, Kajagoogoo, Kylie Mingoue (ooh its a veritable feast of K acts!)
So today got steadily worse really. Monster ended up being screamed at on average every ten minutes. In retrospect I should have simply given up and gone and played with them as it was all classic attention seeking behaviour, but hey there’s no point beating yourself up retrospectively and I’m sure I had good reason for standing my ground at the time! We did make up before bedtime and both apologised and promised a better day tomorrow so with both of us learnt lessons from the day I think we move forward from here with springs in our steps or something!
So, good stuff… the cottages we are staying in are only a 20 minute drive (according to AA routefinder which has been inaccurate before!) away from HESFES, and as the rates for May this year were super cheap if its a nice venue then I think we will be booking it for HESFES next year. Have also joined the MP Camp list and have intentions of coming to Melrose next year too.
So after the small people retired for the evening (note I say evening rather than night, with Teeny nothing is ever a given!) I drank copious amounts of wine, peeked at them both sleeping and was overwhelmed with love for them both and have spent the evening talking birthdays and holidays with Ady. Monster is four next week – so far he has the following gifts:
Justin Heywood, Johnny Hates Jazz and The Jam…
Last night – after managing not to inflict serious injury on either myself or one of my children (no mean feat I can tell you!) Ady finally got home at about 5.30pm whereby I escaped to get changed and then Julie arrived. By the time we set off for Croydon both kids were bathed and pj’s and looking cute, innocent and totally unworthy of all the shouting they had been on the receiving end of all day! Monster asked to come with me as he said goodbye and the weight of motherhood seemed to drop from my shoulders as real as taking off a really heavy winter coat as we got in Ady’s car – very different to be cruising up the M23 in a nippy little Golf as opposed to driving in my great big MPV with CHILD ON BOARD and EO stickers, two car seats and a permanent loop of Peter Pan and Carnival of the Animals on the cd player!
We arrived at Ikea, went to the loo and as I got on the escalator I felt really naked without pushchairs, small hands to hold, questions to answer on why the escalators move and how they work, a big handbag containing nappies, wipes, juice, bribes to be quiet, savlon and so on (I believe I may have mentioned how extensive the contents of my bags are before!). Instead I was able to walk where I wanted unhindered and with just some cash, a credit card and my phone in my jeans pockets – bliss!
I was remarkably restrained in my Ikea purchases – a little over £20 including a few bits in the food section and we were back just before 10pm to find Ady had got both kids asleep long since, tidied the house and cooked a lovely (late) dinner. We had hatched a plan to take each others purchases home to tell the other one’s husband that the other one daren’t take it all home, then swap over on Thursday when we see each other but there was no need!!
We had a really good chat in the car both ways – on the way up there I got all off my chest about Monster being probably no different to any other 4yo, but most 4yos getting diluted by the rest of the class and behaving to a teacher instead of their mother, we talked about siblings, parents, gender differences, having a favourite child or at the very least treating your children differently, the pros and cons of having twins and loads more. On the way back we talked about Chris and Ady, how alike they are despite being brought up seperately, how we think their childhoods have affected them as adults, loads of stuff about their (sadly now dead) sister and more. I feel really close to Julie, and we both said how much we are looking forward to the holiday next month. Julie can’t wait to enjoy a glass of wine of an evening with me (Chris doesn’t drink so she tends not to bother) and Chris can’t wait to eat dinners with us containing meat (Julie is a veggie so he tends to eat what she has instead of cooking two seperate meals) – we joked about how now we have corrupted the twins with our crisps and cakes on picnics we can now start corrupting them!
Today – after a very crappy night with Teeny Ady let me sleep in till 9am so he was late getting off to work which means he will be later home 🙁 I was going to do the food shopping tonight but decided that I would tackle it with the kids today instead – cue a Jax type rant about supermarkets and me doing my best whisper rant at the kids to stop messing about. They insist on both sitting in the trolley side by side and always start off well by putting alternate things in the trolley for me before they get bored and start being text book siblings by nudging, leaning, accidentally on purpose poking and generally winding each other up – they then get progressively louder with a screaming contest usually the end result and I get more and more embarrassed and harrassed and always end up forgetting various essential things necessitating a return visit anyway – grrr! Cue another chat with Monster about behaviour, school and so on. I do think it does have a certain amount to do with his peer being Teeny as opposed to same age children – alone he is mature for his age, is actually very good company and I really enjoy our conversation, with Teeny he regresses to baby stage and does anything to get a giggle out of her (not tricky really!).
Home and we have all calmed down a bit. I bought some kiddy but not quite so safe scissors for him in Ikea which I have been using with him to make paper people chains out of the Sunday Times sport section, he is now scattering various cut out bits of card and paper around the house which on balance is not too hard to clear up and is keeping him both quiet and out of my hair so I guess he can carry on with that! Teeny is marauding the house, terrorising the cats with a toy hammer which she is banging on every available surface – I probably need to stop this before she puts it through one of the door panels!
I’m still feeling a bit overall pissed off with life and know that it could all be so much better but with Ady off for two weeks from Friday I will have a bit more me time and maybe get my life feeling like its back within my control again.