I don’t want to change the world…

Lots of model Home Educating Mama behaviour going on here again today. Of course in my usual totally inconsistent parenting style I have also done stacks of ‘against all the rules’ type stuff too 🙁

First thing we did milk and breakfast and Backyardigans viewing. When I went to head upstairs to get dressed I put Class TV on to which Davies had a fit and followed me upstairs demanding Nick jr went back on. I told him it was on channel 618 and if he wanted it then he better sort it out himself. And having checked with me on a calendar in our bathroom (Ady got about 7 freebie calendars from various work contacts and we seem to have one in every room of the house!) which was 6 which was 1 and which was 8 by pointing at them all he set off downstairs and managed it. Not sure whether to call that Maths and tick a box or to be in despair really! 😉

When I came back downstairs Scarlett and I made up two batches of dough and then brought them in the lounge to knead. Scarlett didn’t really get very far with hers but Davies was very effective and chucking it about and beating it up – there was nothing to differentiate between his and mine by the end of ten minutes. My Grandad was a pastry chef at Harrods for a time so clearly baking is in the blood 😉 We shaped 15 rolls and a loaf of bread and the children each made a few small baby rolls too. We covered them all up with muslin and left them in the lounge near the radiator to prove then headed off to the library. I had a couple of books to return, the next book for Reading Group to collect – which I’ve not looked at at all yet but is Graham Swift’s Last Orders – anyone read it? – and I wanted to have a look at a few reference books to chase up a few ideas I have tossing about in my head and see if I can summon up any enthusiasm for them.

Our local library is very small but does have quite a community feel to it, there are always loads of old people sitting round reading the papers and the children’s area is quite nice and inviting. The staff are always really friendly and helpful too and it is just small enough for me to let D&S go and be in the children’s area looking at books and browse the paperbacks while keeping a distant eye on them. So we had a quick look round the fiction but nothing appealed to me, then we headed upstairs to the reference bit where I grabbed a few books and then back downstairs to the books for sale area. I chose a couple from there (which I was really pleased to discover at the counter were all at 10 pence, just as well I hadn’t realised earlier though or I might have selected more!) then we settled down in the childrens’ area for a while. Davies had said he wanted books about bugs and insects so he chose a couple of nice ones including one with some ideas of bug related projects like learning how worms move by handling one, the cheap version of observing life cycles of caterpillars (i.e catching them yourself in the garden and keeping them rather than paying a couple of quid per caterpillar from Insect Lore!). Then they both chose two stories to be read to them there and then and five story books each to borrow. As we were leaving Davies spotted Robin Williams on the front of the video Flubber and recognised him as Peter Pan from Hook so we picked that up too. I did try to dissuade him as I was not really sure it would be his sort of film from reading the back of the case but he was adamant.

Once home we bunged the (by now very well) risen rolls and loaf in the oven, the children settled down to watch Flubber and I pottered until the rolls were done then we had those for lunch with cheese and grapes. The film was not great and didn’t fully captivate either of them all the way through like some films do, indeed plenty of the storyline was a little beyond their comprehension but they watched it to the end and then Davies asked for it again and proceeded to watch it more intently the second time. I think he particularly likes Robin Williams actually so I might try and track down some more of his work – I’m thinking Mrs Doubtfire and Mork & Mindy might appeal, rather than Good Morning Vietnam or Dead Poets Society 😉 .

While they were watching it Davies was asking for some playdoh so he could make flubber of his own so I took it a step forward and Tarly joined me in the kitchen to make some real flubber. Davies was thrilled and set about chucking that about on his table and smashing it up then glooping it together again while watching the film.

Scarlett then had a complete melt down with me about my insisting she got some clothes on. Now Tarly likes to be naked, always has done and generally I have no issue with it. She has gotten better about staying clothed while at other people’s house with a few notable exceptions where the hosts are cool with her nudity (and indeed one particular house where they often join in 😉 well the children anyway!) and manages to stay fully dressed at soft play centres, the supermarket and the library, but once home as soon as she uses the toilet off come all clothes never to be put on again. Normally I let her get on with it, I think it’s probably very healthy both for her to remain unselfconscious for as long as possible, for her and Davies to be used to seeing each other naked and be aware of the differences in their anatomy and it saves me loads of washing 😉 but it is bloody cold here today and she was all goosebumpy and shivery. I told her to get her clothes back on and she went off to get some pjs. Retrospectively I simply cannot tell you why this was an issue for me or indeed why I continued to make it one long after even I had realised this was one of the battles I had picked unwisely, but having made the point and wound her up to tantrum status it became more important to not give in to her by then bad behaviour. She was eventally persuaded into trousers and a top and we kissed and made up. I know it was a stupid argument, I know it was a mad thing to be making a stand over, I generally don’t let her ‘have her way’ on every mortal thing but whenever possible I do try to listen to the children’s voices – wearing pjs in the house is something I do after a bath every night (although the children don’t know that as they have gone to bed by then!) so what on earth I was doing insisting that she put clothes on I really do not know! I have noticed of late that both the children talk to each other in a really nasty tone and Scarlett particularly is quick to shout, which I am all too aware is a reflection of my behaviour. The shouting is something I know I do and make attempts to modify but sort of accept but the nasty tone is something I am going to work really hard to stop and hope they follow as it is very unpleasant to hear in small children. 🙁

So Davies was happy with his flubber and his Flubber, Tarly came and sat with me and we read some books together, one of which was The Big Book Of Little Children which is a favourite here and has a couple of mentions of ‘school’. Davies as ever piped up about not going to school and so Scarlett asked what happens at school. I didn’t want to do a hatchet job of it but neither am I desperate to sell it particularly so I ran through a few activities and things one might do there, explained that you stayed while mummies left, there are lots of ‘friends’ there to play with and so on. Unfortunately she picked up on her favourite thing in the world which was one of the activities I stupidly mentioned – painting! So now she wants to go to school on the basis that she’d get to do painting there! Davies was horrified and desperately tried to convince her that it would be awful and listed all the things that would be awful about it (which was both accurate and amusing, if a little one sided!) and we ended up deciding that she can go when she’s five if she still wants to! 😉

Then they both played with flubber for a bit and watched some Nick jr having gotten too wriggly to stay on my lap anymore after The Gruffalo and The Smartest Giant in Town had been read to them. I made them some tea, they assisted in the tidying of the flubber at which point my patience with them ran out about 15 minutes before Ady came home so he got to witness the end of what was predominantly a very nice day and got a very clouded view of what it had really been like by them running amok and me being grumpy and shouty 🙁 . They both just about won a reprive from the 6pm bedtime I had planned and watched Animal Park and Masterchef Goes Large with us instead – the downside of this is that they are both still awake, the house still needs a major tidy up from the day and dinner is far from planned let alone started. But anyway…

Been thinking today (in the background to everything else) about blogging and diaries, what the difference is and how much my computer is a tool of communication over and above anything else. Even on a day when I don’t speak to another adult in real life I interact with about 30 online on a daily basis via blogs, IM and email alone – more if I am reading or posting to lists or forums. I mentioned elsewhere that the urge to blog is waning slightly, actually that is not strictly true. The urge to write with constraints of knowing who is in the audience and sometimes censoring what I write accordingly is waning but to lose my voice by not blogging would be something I would struggle with a lot I suspect. The word of the day is incommunicado – I’m not going to try and cleverly pull it in – it’s one I know and use anyway and it’s a state that when enforced upon me is one I struggle with hugely.