We’d arranged to visit Caz and Bid today and had initially planned to go over there for lunch but just as we were slowly galvanising ourselves into being ready to leave the house there was a knock at the door and my Dad was here. I text Caz to say we’d be arriving after lunch rather than before and got the kettle on :).
Both my parents have now accepted that we really are going away next year and are dealing with it in their own ways. My Mum’s is to see as little of us as usual but gush about how she doesn’t know what she’ll do without us whereas my Dad has the rather more measured reaction of just turning up slightly more often and hanging out. He tends to have a new question each time, just the one which he then goes away and processes once I’ve answered. The thing with my Dad is he spends about 80% of his life alone, his days are spent in a fairly solitary fashion, he only has one close friend and he and my Mum don’t seem to even come close to discussing things in a rational fashion so almost by accident he has become a thinker, a ponderer. As such when Dad does say something you know it has been thought through, considered, turned over in his mind before it ever reaches you.
We talked about next year, about living in the south east, about where we would like to live and about the prospect of all living together. I would love that. For all my parents drive me mad I could see massive benefits to having them close. I would love Davies and Scarlett to have them on hand as additional adults who love them, I would love to have their perspective on day to day stuff, I would love to know that as the balance of power subtly shifts and their need and dependance on me grows I am there to take that on board. I have always viewed my Dad as a future incarnation of myself and enjoy having that around to bounce off of. It would not be perfect and I am very cautious of the implications of being close to living with them again and all their fighting and other crap but I think the positives would outweigh the negatives. All a long way off just yet but nice to think Dad is thinking ahead and has a similar vision to me of a possible coexistance one day sometime.
Dad stayed for lunch and then we all left together. We went to the post office to finally post a couple of parcels – they were late in paying (a full week after the auction ended in one case, a full fortnight and a dispute case started in the other) and then I was really late in sending them so fully expecting some sort of negative feedback on those ones 🙁 but at least they have been sent now. Then over to Caz and Bid’s.
I was very brave about the fact one of the dogs appeared at my car as soon as we pulled up – I think trying to get over my dog phobia will be one of my bigger challenges next year, it’s certainly a personal hurdle I am well aware of needing to tackle. Davies and Scarlett were instantly lost to Archie and Eliot and we didn’t see them for hours as they were off playing. Bid commented that A & E tend to get involved in their most imaginative play in the company of D&S and also view the whole living where they are the most positively after spending time with D&S who are incredibly enthusiastic about the place. I often get told what amazing imaginations D&S have and how creatively they play and do wonder if this is a direct result of their lifestyle with still no structured learning or dictating how they spend their time. Certainly I don’t fret that their DSing and Xboxing is stunting them in any way. Davies at ten could still happily spend hours entertaining himself making up stories for characters represented by his own fingers to act out and I view this as a huge positive as I think storytelling and exploring imagination is one of the most precious skills there is. Leaving aside all else, literacy included surely the power to entertain and enthrall is a treasured one?
I spent time chatting with Caz and Bid about all sorts of things and then we began clearing some nettles growing within a disused polytunnel. I quickly got distracted by the possibility of wildlife – prime snake territory I thought although it may have been a little damp and then the wealth of nettles. I have been wanting to have a go at nettle cordage for ages so we all gave up on nettle clearing, grabbed a Ray Mears book and had a bash at nettle cordage instead :).
It wasn’t totally successful and it is very time consuming but I like the idea and will get the Ray Mears dvd out again so I can study it further and have another bash.
Friday has been declared Fire Night round there so they were cooking sausages and potato parcels on the fire along with beers. Ady came and joined us which was lovely but did mean as we were both there in cars we were not able to partake in beers but did manage a sausage or two ;).
We finally left around 7pm with a real feeling of having dragged ourselves away but needing to get back for putting chickens and ducks away before dark. I do love spending time with Caz and Bid, it just all feels so very natural and right.
Back home the kids both had showers as they were filthy, Scarlett hit upon the idea of wearng a swimming cap to prevent her hair from getting wet which I thought was quite genuis 🙂 They went to bed and Ady and I caught up on chatting about all sorts of things.