Very good week so far – Mum and Dad came for the weekend – some pretty heavy discussions on the topic of HE. We first talked about it a few months back when we went down to stay with them and it was still a germ of an idea – I said that it was something I had found out about and was gathering information on with a view to considering – so very much non commital!! Since then of course I have found out loads more and have really got into the idea -so much so that unless something very dramatic happens I have no intention of sending Monster to school at aged five. Mum came up to stay a few weeks ago and I told her that we had pretty much decided this – she asked all the usual questions about socialisation etc and listened to everything I said – she has since mentioned it a couple of times of the phone but has always been clear to state ‘I agree with what you are doing and I support you 100%’ but then she does like the dramatic statements my Mum. She does keep chucking questions at me and saying things like ‘well you will have to do some socialising with Monster otherwise you will have problems with him’ so it is apparant that she is not as behind the idea as she would like to think! Anyway up they came and they have obviously talked about it at home as she was desperate to bring the topic up and have my Dad air his views. Which are in a nutshell that the kids should go to school, it will harm them by not letting them have contact with others, they will be over protected and over mummied, he went to school at 4 with kids aged 4 to 14 and it never did him any harm etc etc etc!’ so we had the long discussion about why we want to do this, why we feel it is best for OUR children, rubbished the ‘is it legal’ questions (although he remained unconvinced despite seeing it in print and his final word on the matter was ‘well why are parents getting jailed for their kids playing truant then?’) talked at great length about how i will ensure they are ‘socialised’ although the argument about that is not really one i agree with anyway. My mum was at her worst – she veered between agreeing with me and then agreeing with Dad, basically putting herself on the side of the person with the last best point – at one point i accused her of not actually having an opinion and asked her point blank ‘do you think Monster should go to school – yes or no?’ she really struggled but ended up saying ‘not at the moment’ and then proceeded to drag Ady into it. He was good and said that ‘it is not something Nic has decided on a whim, she is doing it with the kids best interests at heart, she has looked into it and i agree with her reasons, however if something happened to her and i was alone then the kids would go to school.’ My Dad seconded this and said that if something happened to both of us and they looked after the kids then they would go to school – so bascially i better survive to ensure what i think is best for the kids happens!!!
I asked Dad to read some of the books or leaflets that i have got and said i felt he was arguing from a position of ignorance and i would value his opinion more if he was prepared to be more educated about it but he declined and we agreed to disagree. Having spoken to a couple of people on Muddle Puddle and Fluff I feel that I am no different to anyone else who embarks on HE in that no one seems to get instant support and understanding and at least Dad can see that i am doing what i believe to be best for Monster – and to be honest I am confident that in ten years from now any doubts will be blown away by looking at the happy, confident and succesful teenager i hope to be a mother to!
Took the kids out for lunch before Mum and Dad went home and Monster was child to be proud of in the restaurant – Teeny had a bit of a fit about being in the highchair but once she started eating my spaghetti carbonara she soon cheered up!!
The rest of the week I have worked and Lynda has been in – we did the christmas shopping on Tuesday – lovely to be just me and Ady without kids for a few hours even if we were just shopping for and talking about them! Monster has been doing a fair bit of arty stuff this week and some hama beading too!
Today was great -we went to K’s house (someone I met from Muddle Puddle) and spent a few happy hours with her and her daughter R. R is 5 months younger than Monster but is a really bright little girl and I would say an ideal match for him peer wise. They played nicely together and despite a few tantrums (new for him really, thought i had got away without them – wrong!) and an initial refusing to go in their house he was good, Teeny just sat and mashed up sandwiches and mince pies but seemed happy! So nice to meet someone in the flesh with a child of similar age intending to do the same as us. K is really nice and we have arranged for them to come to us next time. Looking forward to it!