One word? When seven would do…

A lie in this morning followed by a rather doomed attempt on my behalf to make pancakes for brunch. Frankly using the word brunch is almost always likely to end in tears, strops and slammed cupboard doors. It means you have missed breakfast due to sleeping or tardiness and are too hungry to wait for lunch. It does not mean croissant crumbs on painted red lips, freshly squeezed orange juice from a shiny silver kitchen gadget or crisp white bedsheets strewn with Sunday papers. That’s only in books.

Other than using the last of the milk and three of the remaining four eggs and failing to get it all to combine so the first pancake was more like bad scrambled egg and ended up in the pig slop bucket and the second one looking like it might go the same way so me swearing and backing away from the hob telling Ady he better take over it was all very successful.

Davies lego advent calendar got kicked again for the 400th time since 1st December. I am struggling with the clutter in the van that the log burner and Christmas means. My bookcase has been butchered and is now propped up with various things on top of it and a huge pile of books stacked infront of it. The tree is where Bonnies crate usually goes, half a sofa is taken up with advent calendars, the kitchen worktop is home to a tower of plastic boxes containing mincemeat, Christmas cake, ginger star biscuits. Various things are draped around the bookcase and crate drying. Oh it will feel HUGE again when everything gets taken down in a week or so 🙂 I consoled Davies by suggesting the flat green lego base get brought in and the advent scene being fixed to that. Three years of use means the playmobile and lego advent calendars are pretty tatty and we’ve nowhere really to store them so we’ve said the kids can have them to play with now as I suspect next year would be the last they’d want them anyway based on other kids attitude to advent calendars as they get older.

Somehow it was 2pm by then. After a morning of lots of wind and rain it had cleared up a bit so we all went for a walk down to the village. We put a battery on charge, called on Mad Ben the Fencing to report the lashing rods done and tell him how much he owed us and then home again collecting firewood as we went. Not long after we got in and had settled down with cups of tea and the start of a crocheted Christmas stocking for Davies Vikki appeared with Christmas presents for us. She stayed for a cup of tea and cookies and then went home.

We tried and failed to watch Mr Stink as the internet was too slow for streaming and kept buffering – we’ll try again in the morning. I cooked – a cold busting stirfry with garlic, chilli and ginger for clearing sinuses and passages! We watched a dvd of Scrooge instead and I did some more crochet. It definitely feels very hibernate-y when it is dark at 4pm – 7 hours after dark really does feel like bed time even when it is only 11!

this looking after myself with my cold business didn’t it…

This morning Ady went off to meet the boat (we were expecting diesel and needed to send off some venison) and then hook up with Sandy to do some wood collecting. I went off to do some more fencing. The pigs tail things are called lashing rods and I’m pretty darn good at them now having done a full fields worth of them top and bottom. My watch battery has died so I only know what time it is by my phone which was in my jeans pocket underneath my oilskins. I thought it was about 1230pm but it was actually 2pm when I got home. I had been expecting Ady to appear really so called in the house to shed oilskins and went off to find him. The kids were very busy tidying rooms in preparation of new stuff arriving and wanting a sleepover on Christmas Eve. It had rained on and off all morning so I was runny of nose and a bit soggy round the edges but made the foolish decision not to put my waterproofs back on as it had stopped raining.

It only stopped until I got to the bottom of the croft and then started again with a vengence meaning I was soaked within about five minutes. I should have double backed and got changed really but I didn’t. I then walked around a bit looking for Ady and Sandy before spotting our car outside Jinty’s. Bonnie was in the car, as was our turkey (taken out to defrost) but no Ady. It was raining heavily by then and nearly half an hour walk back to the croft so I decided to sit in the car for a while and see if the rain stopped. I’d only been there about ten minutes when Sandy pulled up with Ady. They were chopping the wood up smaller with the chainsaw at Sandy’s and I stood there shivering until Sandy sent me indoors to see Fliss for a cup of tea.

After a bit Ady and Sandy came in and we left. Back home to feed animals and then I went back down again to collect the veg box. I ended up staying for three drinks as Fliss came along and it was a nice evening with a few people out. When I got home Ady had tidied up, got the fire lit and the dinner on so it was lovely to come home to. Damp bedroom aside the static is lovely and cosy now. We watched Outnumbered and had dinner and it was bedtime for the kids.

Tomorrow we need to catch up with Fencer Ben to get paid and collect some venison from the freezer for Mondays dinner, I want to ice the Christmas cake and make some mince pies and I have some last few bits to wrap up but we are looking forward to lie-ins, pancakes for breakfast and the woodburner lit all day.

But I just wanted to be sure the world wasn’t going to end so I thought I’d see the day out…

The cold is ebbing and flowing really, I feel just fine now but I’m sitting on the sofa with a dog at my feet, the log burner chucking out heat, candles lit and a glass of amaretto beside me so I’d have to be pretty ill to feel anything other than fine really.

Ady went off this morning to do some fencing with Mad Fencing Ben while I stayed home to take the phonecall for my interview for the school job. The call came just as I finished ordering a card from moonpig for Mum & Dad so I took that, was offered the job and then listened to Popmaster with the kids.

I left them and went to find Ady and help him with the fencing. The job is putting on the twirly pigs tails things that secure the line of fencing wire to the fencing mesh and is very fiddly. We both have very sore fingers now. But will be another £50 or so better off by the end of tomorrow for doing it 🙂 It was nice to be outside in the fresh air too. We got to 1pm and Ady went home to have a shower and gather the children while I headed down to the hall to start mulling wine and give the hall a bit of a tidy up ready for the kids party.

8 of the 9 children on island came along – Joss and Elena both 3 (on the same day bizarrely), Eve – 4, Scarlett -10, Davies and Cara 12, Nell 13 and Sorcha 15. Baby Andrew didn’t come along, not sure why. Fliss had organised games and music and prizes so she did all that, everyone had brought food to share and we had two sets of visiting grandparents along too so it was a nice full crowd. Santa (Ranger Mike) appeared at 4pm loaded up with a sack containing carefully selected presents (Ali ordered books for all having asked what everyone would like, I asked for the Deadly 60 annual for Scarlett and the latest Andy Stanton for Davies so they went down very well :)). And a good time was had by all.

We came home, watched Sister Act which we’ve been trying to persuade Scarlett is a good film for about a week. Had pizza and now the world has not ended I am starting to slump a lot so am off to bed.

Yesterday was another productive day – packing up venison in the morning, wood collecting in the afternoon and a quick call in to Fliss & Sandy’s to meet Sandy’s parents who were over for a couple of days and Sandy particularly wanted to introduce us to.

In the evening I started to feel my throat thickening and snot gathering and by the time we’d eaten dinner and watched a film I was fairly sure a cold was on it’s way. For once I went with sensible and took myself to bed before midnight. The cold that became a chest infection back in the summer really scared me and given the levels of damp in our bedroom I am desperate for it not to turn into something more sinister this time so will be looking after myself much better to try and see it off as a simple cold.

I slept okay but woke at 7am which is really early for me, but clearly my body only needs a certain number of hours sleep and is used to waking up after them. It was still pitch dark so I snuggled up in bed and read. Ady got up and made me a cup of tea and got the fire lit so by the time I did get up it was lovely and warm in the lounge. I had a steamy shower which helped to clear my head and then rang my Dad as I had a favour to ask and some news an old friend of his had emailed me to pass on. That was nice – I do miss my Dad.

Ady and I went to meet the boat – we had CoOp food shop coming off (six boxes – lots of twiglets and festive fayre!), the winkle money arriving (£715 hurrah! So over £1200 for all the winkling in the end, well worth it), empty petrol cans to go off. Neil said he’d been contacted by one of our venison customers to ask if we could send her meat off today so Ady went back to the second boat to send it off. Loads of islanders left today for Christmas; Claire, Steve, Lesley, Paul, Marcel, Mark, Doug (both Mark and Doug left for good, they have been seasonal ghillies), Coryla. Sandy’s parents went and Sean’s parents arrived. Vikki has her parents coming on Saturday, Neil’s family arrive on Monday as do Jinty’s Dad and sister. The school boat brought the three girls home for Christmas so a rather different feel to the island just now.

Two more boats before Christmas left but if they both get cancelled it doesn’t matter now to us. Tomorrow I have my phone interview in the morning, Ady is doing some fencing work for Mad Ben the Fencer (he reckons 4 hours at £10 an hour) and then it’s the kids Christmas party. Weekend spent wood collecting and then we’re there.

A day of great efficiency. After sending off most stuff yesterday in the post (secret santa for an email group I’m on, all the Christmas cards we’re sending (not many, if you get one then consider yourself very special indeed!), a crocheted hat for Robin) the remainder went today (some Christmas decorations I’d sold to someone who reads the blog, cards I didn’t have addresses for but had tracked down since yesterday). As did the winkles. Animal feed arrived today. The kids have a DS game each still to come, Ady has a photomug, I think both of the presents Ady ordered for me are still to come, other than that everything is here and wrapped. Photobook for Mum and Dad has been despatched and the tablet we got for Davies has been fully charged and I’ve set him up an email address and some apps and shortcuts already on there for him.

We booked the holiday cottage for Monday – Thursday at £50 a night, cheaper than the travelinn AND we get 3 bedrooms, a bath, kitchen, TV with sky, washing machine and of course things like electricity! We debated doing five nights rather than just three but decided it would be too long to kennel Bonnie at the vets (she is being spayed), too long to leave the croft and ask for favours to feed the pigs and birds, more expense in hiring the car and the cottage and actually what we’ll save in not having those 2 extra nights will pay for the big food shop we’ll do. So our plan is a day trip to Inverness to do a big clothes shop, a day in Fort William to do food shops, three nights of lazing in the bath and watching TV and then home again. I think 3 nights will be enough! Also booked the car hire and Bonnie into the vets so all of that is now sorted and organised 🙂 We should get the rest of the winkle money on Thursday so we’ll know how much we have for our shopping trips.

Still to do is some baking of mince pies for us, the Christmas cake to marzipan and ice (but I have the marzipan and icing sugar), some bits for the kids Christmas party on Friday which I’ll do with the kids on Thursday. I have a phone interview for the school job on Friday morning. Tomorrow we’re packing up venison for a few orders we’ve had on and off island and there will be more wood collecting. We were planning this week to be pretty quiet and restful, somehow it doesn’t seem to be panning out that way…

Winkling got finished. I gave myself a shake after my tough day and was fine for the last couple of days. We’re sending off nearly 43 stone tomorrow. Not sure what the price will be but we’ll definitely clear over £1000 for our winkling altogether which will pay for our off island jaunt next month. The plan for next year will be to pay for something amazing – it’s a good cash in hand bonus for this time of year. We have venison money to come too so all is well financially which is an odd position to be in!

In other news we had the Christmas party to exchange secret santa gifts. It all started a bit rubbish with no one really there and not much festive feeling but people arrived, bearing wrapped gifts, we made paper chains and blew up balloons and brought in Christmas tree trimmings and suddenly it was all beginning to look a lot like Christmas :). I love it here for that. We had a lovely few hours, wine was mulled (I am the Rum queen of mulled wine although Jinty puts Buckfast in hers and it is classed as Mullered wine which is different). We left around 530pm and came home for dinner.

I think we have most of the Christmas presents here now, nothing important is outstanding anyway. I’ve done the big wrapping session and we have one last food shop to order in from the Co Op and then we’re done, It’s been pretty low stress all told.

I really struggled with the cold today while winkling. It was raining when we arrived and it was horrid, cold, sleety rain that dripped down my hood and onto my nose and surface water was sitting on the sand which meant every time I knelt down I got very wet knees. I put udder cream on my hands to protect them but it had been in the car overnight so was really cold and I think just sealed the cold in rather than protecting them from it. And my feet were cold today too. So cold really… normally I battle through just fine but today I just wussed out and it meant I was nowhere near as quick at picking as usual. Still half a bag though, so even £60 at last weeks prices, hopefully more if the price goes up, but £15 an hour at worst which is more than I think I ever earnt at work.

What I should have done was go and work next to Ady earlier as we would have buoyed each other up I think. With under an hour to go I did just that and he commented on how cold it was too and then drew my attention to the peaks which were totally snowy – on ground just slightly higher the rain had fallen as snow. That made me feel a bit less wussy. I’ll be better tomorrow (and wear more layers).

We went into Fliss and Sandy’s for a cup of tea and also had a bowl of soup too. Sandy had been out picking today too so was also cold and wet. Davies and Scarlett had very sensibly stayed home due to the rain so we then went home to catch up with them. Our post had been delivered and bunged in our car which contained a large amount of various Christmas presents – I think most things are here now.

I had a shower and sat infront of the log burner and slowly defrosted. I went down to the shop to pay for this weeks veg box which we’d collected on the way past earlier. Fliss was there so I stayed for a beer and a chat and felt fine while I was there – I was chatting with Fliss, Ross, Jinty and Ali and it was really nice. But the walk home again finished me off and I could have easily curled up and gone to sleep rather than eating dinner. We watched Cool Runnings and everyone but me is now in bed, and I’m about to head that way myself.

A lovely week so far. I really enjoy the winkle picking, especially when it is dry like this week has been so far. Bitterly cold of course but cold always seems to equal beautiful here – hoar frost making everything all crystally and sparkly, clear skies meaning loads of stars, sunny skies and gorgeous watercolurs smudged across.

We’ve done well with our winkles so far – I reckon we have five bags of approx five stone each so far. Based on last times price that is 25 stone which is over 3 hundredweight at £120 a bag and word is it will be £150 a hundredweight this time. So nearly £500 already in our first three days. We’ll only get another three in as we’re doing the Christmas Party on Sunday. We might get an hour or so on Monday afternoon and then we’ll get them off on Tuesday. It should definitely pay for our short off island break in January which we need to get booked tomorrow. Hurrah 🙂

In other news finances are generally looking healthier for next year. It’s pretty certain I will get the school job so that will bring in cash (and mean I start paying NatIns again which is good, I have no idea whether there will be any sort of pension scheme by the time I retire but I’d like to be paying in something anyway), Ady is now cleaning the loos at the hall for £10 a week which covers the cost of our petrol and diesel more or less and we’re hoping to buy the shed which Ben the fencer is working out of at the moment. He has kitted it out with a double bed on a sort of mezzanine and a wood burner so it will make perfect quirky accommodation for WWOOFers and as a little holiday let. What with that and the tipi we’ll get up and any tents we can start collecting we have the start of our campsite / eco / off grid breaks ready to launch for next year. Small steps but definitely in the right direction :).

What else? Erm another lovely surprise parcel arrived this week, this time from Julie – chocolate, hand cream and a book about smallholding. It came without a note but from the contents I guessed it was from her and when we had our weekly phonecall last night it was confirmed. She said she’d been meaning to send it for ages and got to the post office in the end ‘it’s not for Christmas, it’s a just because parcel’ she said which made me feel all gooey :). Oh that love that’s arrived in parcels this week 🙂 🙂
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We’ve been watching more Christmas films on lovefilm instant which is always heartwarming. The log burner is going well, we collect wood for less than an hour each day from the woods just above the croft and that is keeping it going for many hours a day. The hard frosts are doing a great job of meaning we can walk up and down the croft, I’ve dug out my icewalking shoe things though because the hill next to the culvert is an icerink, I actually skated down it in my wellies tonight! The cold has been freezing our water and also played havoc with our gas the last few days. We have now lagged the valve and covered the bottles so hopefully that is now sorted. No rain is fab and the freezing conditions do make for a very gorgeous Rum but not without it’s own challenges!

More time lost unblogged… erm, weekend has been nice. Lots of outside time collecting wood (we found a place just above the croft with loads of dead trees which have plenty of branches we can pull down and are nice and dry and seasoned, and we get to carry wood downhill which is always better than uphill!). I took Tinker for a short walk yesterday but now Mike is back and looking after her so we are only on chicken and cat duty at Fliss’. Ady cooked a nice curry last night, I did a lovely roast dinner today along with some more mince pies.

Yesterday we put our tree up and considering we have no Christmas decorations with us it looks lovely. I’d bought some candy canes online, got some chocolate decorations from Jinty, swapped a few of my crocheted bits for Fliss’ crocheted bits and had dried out some orange slices on the logburner. We got some battery powered fairy lights which are working really well and then on yesterdays ferry Christmas camp arrived in a box with a whole heap of tree decorations! Our star is made of willow wound with orange garden twine and looks perfect topping the tree that is the start of our new Christmas traditions, customs and fresh start here on Rum. In the loft of Osborne Drive languishes our artifical tree and the various plastic sparkling things Ady and I had gathered over Christmasses past but we’ve not missed them at all :). I love that it has something from old friends, something from new friends, things we made ourselves and was chopped down from a spot I can see from the sofa.

Tomorrow we’re back to winkle picking. After a fair bit of stressing we got our last lot sent off and the cash sent back – we made £550 which is pretty good. We’re hoping to make at least the same again this week and maybe the week before Christmas and then that season is over. I sent off my application for the school job and we are trying to sort out the details of a mainland visit in early January. Bonnie has had a nasty skin issue on her back which we think was caused by getting and stayed wet, it seems to have dramatically improved with the woodburner which stacks up with the theory it was damp related.

I’ve pretty much done the Christmas shopping for the kids, just need to set aside some time to do a photobook for parents I think.

Hmm, I’ve not been here this week. I’m glad everyone had a good best Christmas camp ever but am feeling ever so slightly not very nice about it so on the basis its better to say nothing than say something not nice I’ll leave that there 🙁

I’ve lost track of where the days went this week – erm, plenty of wood collecting, lots of online Christmas shopping for the kids, still need to think about parents, brother and a couple of secret santas but at least have sorted Jack, Maisie and Lorna and my own kids (more or less) out. Its tough to have the pressure of no chance of last minute dashing out to stock up on a few more bits and Scarlett has one large gift whereas Davies is after nothing specific so will have actual things wrapped up for him.

Today we were Tinker, cat and chicken sitting for Fliss and Sandy who are off Christmas shopping for a long weekend so we got to sit in their house and watch telly and have a bath. Reminds us of how differently we live and how much of daily stuff is pretty tough when you sit on a real sofa and just plug things in… in many ways we are still in prolonged campervan living really which although vastly improved with the log burner is still tough with large areas of the static we can’t use (wardrobes, whole corner of the lounge, certain cupboards) due to condensation. Much though I love living a simpler life and collecting wood and water because it reminds us to be sensible about usage of resources there are still times when it all feels harder than it should. A real house is such a firm goal to have in sight but I am also very aware of how much of a journey it will be to actually get to that point and when simply doing all of those keeping things ticking over duties takes all our time I don’t feel like we are making enough headway towards getting the other things happening. It would be very easy here to run to stay still. Better time management required once we hit January.

Am bored of my own blog post now so will hit send and post something more cheery about Scarlett’s birthday instead to push this down the page.

Yesterday I was up, showered, stuff gathered and down at the shop buying mulled wine ingredients by 10am. I got into the kitchen, got the kettle on and the wine mulling and then set about getting We hhall set up before Fliss joined me. It all looked fab and by midday we had Christmas songs playing, the smell of mulled wine was wafting out of the doors and the table was groaning with our handmade stuff for sale.

We had eight entries for the mince pie competition and Ali brought along some jams to sell, Izzy brought some shortbreads but most of the stuff for sale was Fliss and I. We did really well – Davies sold a fivers worth of his cards (at 50p each), Scarlett sold one of her needle felted decorations, I sold various chocolates, decorations and a scarf but the biggest hit was the mulled wine and mince pies. We made over £100 altogether, £70 of it mine 🙂 So that was a good morning.

Mostly though it was just lovely to be doing something so festive. Sitting and chatting drinking mulled wine with friends I didn’t even know a year ago, having people exclaim over and buy some of the stuff I’d made, the moment when we realised it was snowing and the kids went dashing outside shrieking. It all felt very festive and community like. Doug the ghillie judged the mince pie competition which was a great finale of coming together from everyone with a big group of us gathered laughing and joking. It’s times like these that I know we have totally made the right move coming here, we are so at home 🙂

We packed up and I walked home with the kids and dog while Ady drove all the stuff back. Then I realised we’d not taken anything out for dinner from the freezer for Sunday so I walked back down to collect something. I did static to freezer (in the workshop right down in the village) and back up to static door again including feeding Tom and Barbara as I went past in under 30 minutes which I though was pretty darn good. I’ve just plotted it, it’s almost exactly a mile from our door to Sandy’s workshop so that’s two miles in 30 mins with a pretty steep uphill at the end :). When I had my peak flow measured by the doctor on Thursday he said mine was about the same as his which as he is a man and quite a bit taller than me is pretty good. None of that means much to me but I do feel pretty healthy and fit these days 🙂

I cooked pasta bake and we watched Outnumbered before early nights all round 🙂

Today we wanted to get various things done including collecting wood, getting the washing dried (we’d left it down at the castle in a queue for the washing machine yesterday but Rach had said she’d stick in in after hers), selecting our Christmas tree and juggling things around in the static to fit a tree in. We had pancakes for breakfast (we’re getting random duck and hen eggs every few days which is keeping us going more or less) and then I emptied a unit which houses the battery and invertor and internet stuff. We moved that into the hallway, we’re hoping to run the internet off the powerpacks rather than batteries for the next month or so as they are so much more portable to cart up and down the hill to charge up now the solar panel is not giving much charge to the battery. Bonnie’s crate has been moved into that space and we’re putting the tree infront of the door we usually block with the crate. I think it’s the best arrangement with our very limited space.

That done Ady and I headed down to the village to collect stuff from the freezer and sort out washing. Rach had kindly put it in the castle tumble drier for us (free!) so it only needed another ten minutes or so and we hung on for it. We came home and the kids came down to meet us and we went to select a Christmas tree.

It’s very lovely to choose your tree and chop it down within site of your house :). Ady and Davies took it up the hill while Scarlett and I carried on collecting firewood. Ady came back and the kids went off on a wander while Ady and I took down a dead tree I’d spotted right next to the river – perfect firewood, seasoned while still standing but dry because it’s not been on the ground rotting. We’ve already burnt most of it!

Ady took the wood up the hill while I took the car back the right side of the river (which is good because we almost didn’t bother and it’s rained for a good hour now so it would have been stuck!) I do love driving over a river and not worrying about whether the car will ever get through a MOT again! Today has been a real loving my life day 🙂

Back home to light the burner and get dinner on. I cooked, Ady sorted out the moving of the crate and tidied up. The kids washed and dried up. We ate watching Attenborough and then the kids watched something on youtube before bed. It;s been a real proper day off Sunday :).

It’s been a busy week this week and we’ve not managed all that we set out to do either. Wednesday was another early start in the larder processing a beast. We made some burgers and it went pretty well – we were done way quicker than expected.

Home for lunch and then I went down to Fliss’ to make a start on chocolate and sweet making.

Thursday was winkle picking day but that was along with about four hundred other things – Ady and I went down to the post office at 10am, called in to see Neil and helped box up the venison we were sending off to a restaurant in Mallaig, got our washing on at the castle, met the boat to collect some deliveries and send the venison off, back to Sandy’s to drop pff some of their stuff, changed to do a 90 minute stint of winkle picking, then changed again to go to the doctor who was over for an asthma health check and swap the washing over into the dryer. Then back to Fliss’s to do more chocolate decorating and some willow wreath making, then to the shop to collect fruit and veg, then home to cook dinner. I fell asleep over my laptop hence no blogpost.

Today was slightly more paced but still pretty busy. This morning Sandy came up and he and Ady did some sorting out teething problems on the woodburner while I helped Davies and Scarlett mind Joss and made pastry, pizza dough, bread dough and soda bread for lunch. I made a taster batch of mince pies, sang songs with Joss, talked to Davies and Scarlett about kids tv, coping with toddlers and why a 3 year old is far more full on than a 12 year old. Sandy and Joss left, we had lunch and then I went down to finish off the chocolates etc. I bumped into Lesley and Neil on the way and debated some issues with venison processing and got the low down on Richard who has been signed off sick with stress til next year. Broken island, broken people…

Fliss and I finished off all our bits – I have made chocolate truffles decorated to look like Christmas puddings in little handmade boxes, chocolate orange cream hearts, chocolate peppermint cream discs. They all look beautiful, I have no idea if they will sell. I walked home and got stuck into mince pie making and finishing off my crochet Christmas tree decorations. Then dinner and bread in while we watched Fawlty Towers on lovefilm instant.

Tomorrow is the Christmas Fayre and I am looking forward to sitting and chatting, drinking some mulled wine and listening to Christmas music regardless of whether we sell a single pennies worth of anything! And then on Sunday I am looking forward to having nothing at all to do!

which could mean so many things but as a facebook friend correctly guessed was infact referring to putting venison through a grinder and into vacuum packed bags. Odd to have a comment from an ex boyfriend on that post commenting on how much I’ve changed. Even more so as I was only thinking about him the other day. Weird how people flit in and out of your thoughts and then your life.

Today was up at stupid, middle of the night, still dark o’clock to be in the deer larder for 7am. We did get to see Saturn and Venus looking amazing in the sky though as we bobbed along the path with our headtorches past still slumbering animals. We left the kids in bed with breakfast laid out and instructions to feed the animals once they were up. I woke Davies as we left because I know he can snuggle back down to sleep again whereas Scarlett would rouse properly and then not want us to leave.

They had a good morning playing, listening to the radio, feeding the animals and watching films.

We had a productive morning skinning, butchering and processing a hind. We have an order for a saddle and 3kg of venison mince so did that the rest was minced, diced and cut into steaks to go in the freezer. Tomorrow we are hoping to do the second one and sell all of that on island. Neil has done a fair bit of it before so he led Ady while I set up all the new equipment – mincer, knives and saws, vacuum packer. We all then did some butchering stuff off the bone before mincing some and then packing everything up and weighing it. We finished earlier than planned which was great, hopefully we will tomorrow as well.

We cleared up and packed everything back into our car then Ady and I called round to see Sandy. He was the wrong side of a few drinks so we had a cup of tea with him them came away planning to go back later again. Back home at the planned time for lunch with the kids. Scarlett and I washed and dried up and then Ady and I went back out to collect some firewood and nip back to see Fliss and Sandy. Arranged to go round tomorrow to make fudge and truffles for the Christmas fayre on Saturday. Then we came home. Julie rang just after dinner so I caught up with her. We watched Mannequin on dvd which was a film Ady used to love but the kids only classed as ‘ok’. We’ve promised next week will be less out of the house for Ady and I and far more time together.

Saturday We seemed to spent a lot of time backing and fowarding to the village. We met the boat and called in to the workshop to drop off a battery and collect stuff from the freezer, then again to collect some more stuff. The woodburner is leaking a little which was originally rain but we suspect now is condensation which may need addressing. Ady is on the case.

It was Rachel’s birthday and cake and singing was planned for 6pm. We had all intended to go but we are poor due to all the purchasing of logburners and waterproofs and Scarlett’s birthday plus all going out after dark feels like a big production (hell, it is a big production with torches and hikes up muddy hills and stuff) so in the end I went down on my own and Ady and the kids stayed home and sorted dinner. I’d made Rach a scarf and Davies had done her a lovely card, but of which were very appreciated. I stopped for a glass of fizz and singing and had a chat with Fliss, then walked home for dinner.

I decided it was close enough to Christmas to start watching festive films so we watched Nativity on Lovefilm instant which I don’t think I’ve ever seen all the way through despite having caught bits of it when it’s been on TV. It was pretty good actually, we all enjoyed it.

Sunday A trip down to the village to collect stuff from the workshop and drop off some post. Jinty and Leslie were at the shop so I stopped to chat to them for a while. I like them both lots but have not really gotten to know either of them very well so it was nice to stand for a natter for a while. Back at home I went off to collect wood – I’ve been making faggots, little bundles of twigs for firelighting so was very happily collecting bits to make them with Bonnie ‘helping’ in that way that a stick loving puppy can only assist when you are trying to put sticks in piles and sacks and she would rather run off with them 😆

Vikki and Rachel wandered up as they were out for a walk and we are often a good destination for not very strenuous walkers so they called in for a cup of tea on the sporran. Then we got dinner on. Davies and Scarlett both did lots of needle felting Christmas decorations to sell at the fayre at the weekend. We watched the second Attenborough thing on iplayer – cannot believe how old he is having checked online. Scarlett took a deep breath at one point and said ‘maybe one day I’ll have seen as many things as him’. She definitely has wildlife TV presenter high on her dream job list or at the very least someone who gets paid to go and see as many creatures as she can. I suspect the actual being on TV is pretty incidental to her, especially if she’d have to brush her hair!

Today – We went down to the castle as I was hoping to catch Fliss and also wanted to check what time some training I was doing this evening was happening. We’d missed Fliss but did have a cup of tea with Vikki and a quick chat with Neil to make arrangements for tomorrow. We came home for lunch and then Davies did the washing and drying up, Ady went to deal with the toilets and Scarlett, Bonnie and I went wood collecting. Back home for a cup of tea and then Ady and I went down to collect equipment for tomorrow and load it into our car ready for the morning. I stayed down at the village for my training and Ady came home to get dinner on. I chatted to Norman and he bought me a beer, then I went in the hall to help the trainer set up. It was business plan development training for the IRCT directors but I was along as a Rum Enterprise director. I didn’t get a lot out of it to be honest as it’s stuff I’ve covered before in various jobs or learnt about when we wrote our croft business plan but it’s always good to get free training even if you only take a very small amount of new knowledge away from it.

We finished that slightly ahead of schedule so I was home earlier than I’d expected which was nice as tomorrow is an early start – 7am at the venison larder, which is an hour earlier than I am even normally out of bed let alone up and working! It will still be dark and everything. The children will be left in bed with breakfast laid out and will go and feed animals once it is daylight and we’ll be home for lunch.

Yesterday the ferry was like the Goddard delivery express from Mallaig with our waterproofs and the log burner on it 🙂 Oh how happy we were! We collected Sandy & Fliss’ stuff from the boat and dropped it round to them to share the good news. Sandy, who is possibly more excited about progress on our croft than we are unpacked it with us and said he’d come up in the afternoon to have a look at it with us. We went home for lunch and tried on our new waterproofs. Huge but with erm, growing room, or space for jumpers underneath or something.

Sandy came up and did the whole thing in two hours from ripping out the old fire and closing off the gas to installing the new burner. I do love him! We burnt it very low last night as it needs to be seasoned but could already tell it was going to make a huge difference.

We watched Forest Gump which we all agreed was a good story but the kids, particularly Scarlett found a little too sad to be watching so close to bedtime.

Today its been wild wet and windy again. I had to go to the Whitehouse (SNH HQ) to sign the paperwork for the venison processing at 11am so Ady came down with me which was just as well as we needed a witness for the signatures. So he did that. Back home for lunch and then I went down to crochet with Fliss. We had a really nice afternoon and then Ady came to collect me. Sandy had hoped he’d bring the kids so we could stay for dinner but they had stayed at home.

I’d made pizza dough earlier so a quick stop at the shop to buy some peat blocks for the woodburner and then home. Scarlett has been experimenting with old candle wax in making candles including using string to make wicks so she was excited to show me what she’d done. We watched Nativity on lovefilm instant which was perfect for laughs and light hearted entertainment.

Tomorrow is collecting wood 🙂

Either it will all get here and we’ll be warm from the log burner and dry from the oilskins or it’ll be spring.

Ups, downs and all over the places today really. I made both children cry earlier by shouting at them for squabbling. There is a toll now of being in such a small space for days on end with limited access to distraction methods. The need for outside time is apparent in all of us and we need to be better at finding the window to get outside and make the most of daylight. I remember telling people this was my plan to combat the dark winter days, I just don’t seem to be quite so good at making it happen. Today I told the others that I worry they will all end up hating me for making them live here if they are struggling – Scarlett sobbed and begged ‘don’t make me leave here. I LOVE IT so much’. Which is good in that at least I know she is in the right place. Ady also was able to remind himself of all of the things he loves about living here. Davies and I had a chat about the next five years and how he needs to start thinking about which direction he wants to go in so that I can help him with that. I am perfectly happy for him to drift along at his own pace as long as he is happy and fulfilled, I just need him to be aware that the being fulfilled has to come from him rather than anyone else. He said he does miss friends but is very realistic about the amount of time he spent with friends anyway and how scattered his mates were / are. I know this is the toughest winter we will face here and it is fine for us to be hanging out waiting for the next stage in moving stuff forward but it is all too easy to spend a whole life projecting forward looking towards the but stage rather than living in the now and loving that. I know finding joy in mud, wind, rain and damp is tricky but there still needs to be sufficient pleasure in what we’re doing now for its own sake otherwise the testing bits are just not worth it.

We all went out for a walk round the coast road while the washing went round in the machine and chatted to Ben and Margaret who are here for 3 weeks living in a shed doing fencing work. They are very hardcore crazy folk who were all excited about their shed and woodburner and said their shed might be up for sale at the end of the 3 weeks. We are very interested in that and will speak to them more about it, particularly as they think they could get it up onto the croft. It could be a compost loo housing or a shower block or even just a drying room and another space. Maybe more on that soon.

Back home for lunch and further parcel chasing which I can’t even be arsed to blog about now. Then I left the others to collect the washing. Unfortunately it was not dry yet. I found another £1 in the car so shoved that in and went to the library for half an hour but it was still not all dry after that and I had no more money on me. I debated nipping into the castle to find someone to borrow couple of quid from but decided to take home what was dry and either come back down or leave it til the morning. By the time I got home carrying half the washing in the dark I was not really up for going out again so it will need finishing off tomorrow but as we are the only ones using the dryer and it was damp rather than sodden as long as I fully dry it tomorrow it should be fine.

Home for dinner and a good catch up phonecall with Julie who infused me with lots of positivity.

And I think that is all.

This morning I had grand plans to make a little bag for Joss’ birthday present. I cut out the material and got out my sewing machine but it is missing the little foot thing that you feed the material through. No idea if it is here somewhere or go lost along the way but I decided I would probably spent more time trying to find it and potentially not doing so anyway than just hand sewing it, so I did. Davies and Scarlett made a card each and then Ady and I went to meet the boat.

It is super windy and has been raining for much of the day so we got wet on the way down. We stopped at the castle to shove some stuff in the drying room and then to the boat. Our CoOp food shop came off, as did Vikki and lots of her stuff which we’d offered a lift to so we ran her home. Then to check for post – none. Then to drop off the frozen food shopping in the freezer and deliver Joss cards, bag and a comic we’d ordered too which had come. We checked our winkles and one of the bags had come a bit adrift so we secured that more.

Back to the croft for lunch. I sorted out the veg for dinner and then as it wasn’t raining I persuaded Davies and Scarlett to come for a walk down to the village with me as they have not been out in days. Ady stayed behind to do a few things (mostly tidying I think ;)) and we walked down to the village, bumped into Mike for a chat, returned some dvds to the library and picked up a few books and came home again before it rained. Result 🙂 Outdoor time is the key to sanity here definitely.

I made some bread and got the rest of the dinner sorted then checked up on parcels online – The Book People are definitely getting the order returned to them and they can then forward it to me here so that one is in hand. The oilskins are missing in action I think but the man is chasing them. The log burner was not collected by Yodel once again so it now supposedly being collected by Parcelforce tomorrow and delivered to Calmac on Thursday, which now means Saturday delivery to us. Maybe. Please, please let it be worth all this grief when it actually does get here.

No boats tomorrow, but I want to get the washing done and probably will spend at least some of the day parcel chasing :rolls:

All restored. 🙂

Still no refund from Maplins but they promise it is coming, parcel from Book People still out but now showing as being returned to supplier, log burner still not collected from supplier but complaining email resulted in a change in courier if it’s not collected tomorrow. No idea where our oilskins are – they should have arrived on Saturday, will chase them tomorrow if they don’t come on the boat. Assuming the boat comes of course… the weather is dire.

But it’s all back to being able to be taken in my stride again now. This too will pass…

Today I made leek and potatoes soup and soda bread for lunch and did lots of crocheting Christmas decorations. They will be for sale at the Christmas Fayre on 1st December and then go in the craft shop, if not sold then we’ll hang them on our own tree – win:win 🙂

The kids are struggling with lack of outdoor time and insufficient indoor space or stimulation to keep them sane. Squabbles which are so not characteristic of their relationship are tedious for all of us. I think tomorrow may have to be a donning waterproofs and getting outside for a while regardless of the weather sort of day. Tough when we have no where to hang stuff to dry really but necessary for everyone’s peace of mind.

Ady and I got out – we met the ferry (nothing for us) and then Ady did some work with Sandy helping to tidy the workshop. I had a cup of tea with them and then walked home again to do some more crochet with the kids. Scarlett sewed a little present decoration, Davies did some more Christmas cards. They both played with the lego and did some drawing. I bullied Ady into doing some stuff with Davies too rather than just tidying and mopping up condensation.

I had a long phonecall with my parents and Frazer last night and a flurry of email exchanges with Lynda who is being very mother from afar and worrying about me. nice to feel so loved :). Sandy is spending more time planning and researching our house plans than we are at the moment so we’re feeling very supported from here too which helps.

I’ve emailed the local library to see if they can help supply us multiple copies of books for the reading group I am setting up, sorted out on island secret santa and distributed names and am generally ploughing through my joblist. No meetings this week which is nice, they drain so many hours with getting to and from the village.

A tough few days.

The ongoing saga of the returned powerpack from Maplins. The replacement finally turned up after having sat in Inverness for five days. The refund for the returned one has not happened yet despite a flurry of emails back and forth. Hopefully it will happen soon – that’s £50 tied up in something we sent back nearly 2 weeks ago.

The ongoing saga of the log burner. Ady was ringing the company twice daily to get the measurements and weight of the packaging to sort out a courier. Finally they did it on Wednesday so I booked a courier online to collect it on Thursday, deliver it to Calmac on Friday and it should be here Saturday. Except it didn’t get collected yesterday, no reason given. It’s been rebooked for Monday, which means the earliest it will be with us is Thursday next week. Another week without it. And money tied up having paid for it and the delivery.

And then last night I managed to do a Book People order and send it to Sussex. Arse. Fingers crossed it’s been stopped and called back and will get refunded, then I can order it again. Except I am rapidly losing confidence in things getting to be where they are supposed to be and refunds happening.

The ongoing planning permission stuff. I am currently quite happy to ignore the whole business and come back to it next week. But having kicked off about it I am now getting ‘help’ from people suggesting links to look at online, people to talk to and even the idea of a planning consultant has been put forward. I’m being ungrateful I know but I’d quite like to pretend there is no such thing as planning permission just for a few days.

The ongoing winkle picking – another good days picking today – we have 10 part filled sacks (as in put more in we’d not be able to lift them, probably the equivalent of 7 sacks I reckon. Currently they are worth £92 a sack, apparently if we wait the price could increase to £180 a sack) – there are two more days of tides on our side and then it will be 2 weeks before we can start picking again for a week. This could definitely pay for a nice week in a holiday cottage in January. Somewhere with a bath, electricity, TV, lots of space, no condensation. We’ll get Bonnie spayed and day trip to Inverness to get clothes shopping, look in charity shops and generally stock up on stuff. My knees hurt. All three pairs of wellies I have are wet inside, Scarlett cried today because she says she hasn’t seen enough of me this week. I can’t justify it to her as worth it for the money because that goes against everything I believe in about extrinsic rewards! And actually I do enjoy it, if I hated every minute I wouldn’t do it. I’d just quite like a cloning machine.

And while I had a cloning machine I’d get a Nic to do the Rum Venison Processing stuff really well, another to set up a business to apply for the tender for the deer cull next year from SNH. A Nic to come up with a shit hot events plan for next year, another to do a really good job on the IRCT website, one to attend the Rum Enterprise meetings and another to sit on the Rum Visitor Management group, oh and all the things I want to do on the Wondering Wanderers blog and write a book. Another to spend lots more time with Davies and Scarlett helping them with all that next stage stuff I know they are ready for. I’ll have a Nic to get all the croft admin in order, get grants and funding applied for and start planning the layout for the planting next year and working on project planning the house build too. So that’s about seven Nics then. One Nic, when seven would do….. 😉 Vikki said to me this week that she thinks I take on too much, possibly she is right. I think the solution is better apportioning of time to ensure I do actually get everything I want done in the order it most needs doing, putting stuff I enjoy first and stuff I’d feel guilty about not doing next with everything else falling into natural order afterwards.

As soon as I have a spare hour I’ll get that done then! This not working lark is bloody busy 😉

And I’ve got my period so I am utterly irrational, stroppy, ready to hit people one minute and then cry because they don’t like me for hitting them the next.

My final straw though was a text message and load of pictures from Frazer of the new baby. I just know my parents will be being crap at supporting and helping him and Kat. They are so rubbish at being grown ups and I’ve always sort of felt I was Frazer’s grown up when he needed one. Wish I was there to be it now, I have a feeling he could use a grown up at the moment. I think the problem is not trying to do too many things, it’s not feeling I am doing any of them properly. Except maybe the winkle picking, I’m pretty good at that.

So this afternoon I dripped on Fliss a bit and she cuddled me and made me cups of tea and told me if it ever all gets too much we can just all go and live with them for a few days and have baths and watch TV and plug things in. I needed that 🙂 We won’t, but knowing it’s there and getting a real life cuddle from a friend, one who I’ve cuddled when she needed it, meant a lot. It all sort of glued me back together again.

It’ll all be alright, balance will come. Some stuff will fall off the to do list, the wood burner will get here and warmth will happen. Refunds will get actioned, winkle picking will stop and I’ll have a good few days of quality time with the kids. Except I don’t want to be wishing away time, I want to be finding things to celebrate every day. So today I celebrate friendship with Fliss, making pizza for dinner with Scarlett, a conversation with Davies about ways to earn money in which he came up with some ideas for earning cash himself, our new candles that burn for two nights plus unlike the ones we had before which went in about an hour.

Monday – Ady and I cautiously went down to Fliss and Sandy’s waterproofed up and in many layers. We’d not heard from them since Saturday morning despite me emailing Fliss to check everything was ok with them. Fliss came out as we arrived, gave me a kiss for my lovely email and reassured us that all was well.

We gathered net bags and off we went: Learning all the time! Way easier to fill a bucket than a bag, you just log ’em in without faffing about holding the bag open. Bag is good to decant once you get a full-ish bucket. Lots of layers is a bad idea. It’s not cold while you’re moving about and lots of wet layers is way worse than one wet layer. You will get wet. Hats and hoods are a bloody nuisance. Wind is possibly worse than rain if you have to choose one or the other. Nail varnish gets chipped really quickly but wearing gloves hampers your speed. My new wellies leak. Kneeling in water for any length of time will always mean you get a wet knee no matter what you are wearing. Crawling over rocks will result in bruised knees and aching backs.

So, winkle picking – educational and fund raising!

I suspect two mornings at it is not enough to form a proper opinion but so far we’ve quite enjoyed it. It makes us very grateful for our warm shower, fire, dry clothes and hot cups of tea, cheese on toast, home made soup etc. It is mindless, mundane stuff but kneeling next to someone else to chat to and laugh with and having that amazing view to look up at every time you pause for breath makes it worthwhile. Plus it will be cash in hand – Christmas hopefully paid for in full. Our plan is to earn £1000 which will buy the kids the couple of things they want each for Christmas and give us a chunk of money for a mainland visit in January to get Bonnie spayed and stay somewhere nice (with electricity, baths and TV!) and have a bit of a shopping trip to Inverness and stock up on stuff. With a goal like that in mind this feels like perfectly acceptable work.

So we did that until the tide started to come in, had a cup of tea with Fliss and Sandy and then met the boat which was supposed to be in early because it didn’t go to Muck but came in late due to weather. This was the only down side of the winkle picking as we were both soaked to the skin and having stopped for over an hour were starting to get shivery and chattery of teeth. Also there was nothing on the boat for us anwyay (despite us expecting lots of things) so we came home a bit fed up.

Good humour was quickly restored with showers, dry clothes, cheese on toast and cuddles with children.

We have two other ongoing things winding us up just now which are chasing a replacement delivery of a powerpack from Maplins which had been sat in Inverness for 5 days according to the live tracking and getting a refund of the returned one sent last Monday and getting dimensions and weight of boxes of the woodburner we want to buy so we can arrange a courier to collect it as the company do not deliver to the highlands and islands. Neither was proving straightforward and with limited internet and phone it was all getting very frustrating.

After a fairly unsatisfactory afternoon trying to sort that out we went down to the hall to meet a couple of representative from the planning department. We’d taken a few images of the house we are hoping to build along with a map of the croftland to show where we were thinking of building. We wanted to know if those all looked acceptable and then what issues might face over materials, ground works, power and water. We were utterly unprepared to be told that actually the croft sits outside of the designated development area so we may not be able to build at all and if we can then it would all be subject to various constraints including possibly needing to have vehicular access. Argh! We came out feeling hugely pissed off at the world in general but specifically the IRCT for once again doing a halfarsed job of things. Crofts should have been let with outline planning or at least the agreement that they would be eligible for building on. The access track should have been investigated further to check if it would pose a problem or not. Sigh.

We came home fairly pissed off but had a very nice curry which helped and we watched Attenboroughs Ark which also helped. Lovely, soothing David 🙂

This morning was an even earlier start but further rain meant we left the kids home. Fliss and Sandy have lent us their oilskin waterproofs and what a difference they make. Am now investigating the price for a set each for Ady and I – oh for car boot sales and charity shops rather than ebay. The tide was not low enough to start so we had a cup of tea with Sandy before we got going. We only did an hour or so today thanks to tide times and ferry coming in. Sandy did offer to collect our stuff from the ferry so we could carry on but we’d promised the kids we’d be back for lunch so we did our hour and then went to meet the boat. We still did about half a sack between us, definitely getting quicker. Tomorrow we should get about 4 hours at it so hopefully an even better haul. We’ll do it again Thursday and maybe Friday depending on weather and tide times. If we can manage to work in a couple of hours each day without it impacting too much on the children then we will do so.

The boat was far better today with our powerpack coming, my ebay salopettes which will be no good for winkle picking but were fantastically warm and cosy and dry for walking down to the village in later, my new headtorch and some more business socks for everyone. Also our animal feed from Harbro. Phew. We stuck the powerpack on charge and came home for lunch.

I got an email from Vikki asking for some proof of ID to send off for my directorship of Rum Enterprise so as there was a break in the rain I took the opportunity to try out my new trousers and walked down to see her and drop off the paperwork. I had a chat and she reassured me that they’d spoken more to the planning bods and been told that actually there should not be a problem with building on the croft aslong as we adhere to certain guidelines, that they are going to turn a blind eye to the static not having planning permission but that we would be well advised to speak to Building control regarding what they would say about stuff like the access track. I got home to find an email from Lesley saying much the same thing. Being gobby at the shop about how pissed off I was last night certainly paid off with lots of people jumping to try and sort stuff out. Word had got all around the village (and I’d not even been THAT angry in public, wonder how much people would jump if I really lost my rag here) and Mike came up to check we were okay this evening.

Oh swings and roundabouts. So lovely emails today from Gav and Laura (new crofters), Maplins power pack turned up and they are now looking for the returned parcel. Winkle picking went okay, log burner people finally got back to us with weight and size and I’ve found a courier for about £20 which is nowhere near as scary as I’d feared so we may even have that here and fitted by this time next week alleviating the while damp and mouldy issues. Planning stuff will no doubt be a further headache to deal with but we are at least being supported and backed up here and the leaping to our aid when we kicked off a bit was very heartening. Let’s see what tomorrow brings – I know it will include winkles and a meeting with various people in the afternoon as I attend my first Visitor Management Plan steering group which I am a new member of.