Either it will all get here and we’ll be warm from the log burner and dry from the oilskins or it’ll be spring.
Ups, downs and all over the places today really. I made both children cry earlier by shouting at them for squabbling. There is a toll now of being in such a small space for days on end with limited access to distraction methods. The need for outside time is apparent in all of us and we need to be better at finding the window to get outside and make the most of daylight. I remember telling people this was my plan to combat the dark winter days, I just don’t seem to be quite so good at making it happen. Today I told the others that I worry they will all end up hating me for making them live here if they are struggling – Scarlett sobbed and begged ‘don’t make me leave here. I LOVE IT so much’. Which is good in that at least I know she is in the right place. Ady also was able to remind himself of all of the things he loves about living here. Davies and I had a chat about the next five years and how he needs to start thinking about which direction he wants to go in so that I can help him with that. I am perfectly happy for him to drift along at his own pace as long as he is happy and fulfilled, I just need him to be aware that the being fulfilled has to come from him rather than anyone else. He said he does miss friends but is very realistic about the amount of time he spent with friends anyway and how scattered his mates were / are. I know this is the toughest winter we will face here and it is fine for us to be hanging out waiting for the next stage in moving stuff forward but it is all too easy to spend a whole life projecting forward looking towards the but stage rather than living in the now and loving that. I know finding joy in mud, wind, rain and damp is tricky but there still needs to be sufficient pleasure in what we’re doing now for its own sake otherwise the testing bits are just not worth it.
We all went out for a walk round the coast road while the washing went round in the machine and chatted to Ben and Margaret who are here for 3 weeks living in a shed doing fencing work. They are very hardcore crazy folk who were all excited about their shed and woodburner and said their shed might be up for sale at the end of the 3 weeks. We are very interested in that and will speak to them more about it, particularly as they think they could get it up onto the croft. It could be a compost loo housing or a shower block or even just a drying room and another space. Maybe more on that soon.
Back home for lunch and further parcel chasing which I can’t even be arsed to blog about now. Then I left the others to collect the washing. Unfortunately it was not dry yet. I found another £1 in the car so shoved that in and went to the library for half an hour but it was still not all dry after that and I had no more money on me. I debated nipping into the castle to find someone to borrow couple of quid from but decided to take home what was dry and either come back down or leave it til the morning. By the time I got home carrying half the washing in the dark I was not really up for going out again so it will need finishing off tomorrow but as we are the only ones using the dryer and it was damp rather than sodden as long as I fully dry it tomorrow it should be fine.
Home for dinner and a good catch up phonecall with Julie who infused me with lots of positivity.
And I think that is all.
The preteens all seem to be getting into ff and skype – Elijah was talking to Alex and Beth last night – do you have enough internet/electricity for Davies to do that? I know Lije likes getting Davies’ messages through the letterbox (? Whatever it’s called) on the ds – he told me you’d had snow the other day 🙂 – so more of that sort of thing might help. You’ve got us, and new Rum friends, but I guess they’ve mostly got just you (at least when they are feeling hard done by and pathetic!).
Comment by Alison — 23 November 2012 @ 1:03 pm