Davies has decided he’s going to always get up and dressed and make his breakfast now. Fine by me, until he proudly told them at Badgers tonight ‘I get up before my Mummy and get dressed and make my own breakfast’. This when I was being told off for sewing Davies’ badge on wonkily ‘do you think Mrs Goddard you could sew their badges on before you have a bottle of wine next time?’ I replied with ‘well I’d have to make a start on that very early in the day then!’ – never sure if I’m just one step away from them ringing social services on me really. They’d been standing peering at Davies, Scarlett and I running around on the grass outside as we got there early so had a rowdy game of tag which degenerated into chucking grass at each other and tagging people by chucking a Badger uniform hat at them. I’m not very good at being ‘proper’, or at sewing straight 😆
So Davies was up and sorted and Scarlett wasn’t far behind and then were off out into the garden. I resubmitted an assessment for my online course that I’d not done a couple of question fully enough on and had sent back, done several loads of washing and hung it out and then the food shopping delivery arrived. I took it all in and put it all away, made some lunch and we walked along to Brooklands. In the book we’re reading at the moment the hero has a rucksack packed with various emergency supplies, which ties in well with them both wanting penknives and rucksacks anyway from Forest School so they’d both packed a bag to bring with them. I overheard them going through the contents with each other and they had some very interesting emergency supplies. Scarlett asked me ‘when we’re older Mummy do you think we can go off and have an adventure?’ I assured her I thought they probably could 🙂
Scarlett had packed one of my old bags which has a far too long shoulder strap for her so we’d not walked far before it became apparent she was getting fed up with it so we double backed to drop it off home again.She insisted on bringing ‘her’ mobile phone which is one of my old ones, minus sim card that she likes playing the games and listening to the music on.The battery was dead so she couldn’t even do that but she said she likes pretending to send text messages on it so wanted to bring it anyway 😆
We walked quite briskly the mile or so to Brooklands, only pausing on the railway bridge to watch a train go underneath us and arrived at the same time as Lucy and The Rs.The four children went straight off to clamber on the trees and rocks and Lucy and I sat in the sunshine chatting. Tasha, Toby and Vinnie joined us about half an hour later and we carried on sitting and chatting while the children carried on playing, coming over every so often for food. The sitting and chatting was great, the in the sunshine bit wasn’t so great and I now sport a very glowing face, cleavage and arms. What makes it worse is I even had suncream in my bag. I always seem to get burnt once at the beginnning of summer, it seems to catch me unawares every year.
We were then joined by another local HEor and her 11 year old son who I knew of but hadn’t actually met before. She is obviously struggling and poured out all her woes to us which was slightly uncomfortable as we were all strangers to her really and she was telling us some really personal stuff. The lad played really well with all our kids which she seemed surprised about and she was very negative about him which is always hard to hear. I don’t think we’d want to spend too much time in her company as she was pretty draining but she obviously needs some support and whilst I hope she finds the right place to get it I don’t really think any of us were able to offer much other than sympathy really 🙁
Lucy and The Rs headed off as Lucy had to work, Tasha and I took our four to the cafe and they had ice creams before we went our seperate ways and headed for home. I was a really nice few hours and the kids all got on so well we’ve planned to meet up again on Friday.
Back at home Davies and Scarlett carried on playing in the garden while I got their dinner on, our dinner on and ate a load of pomegranate seeds. I’ve done loads of brisk walking today, and eaten my full 5 fruit and veg portions and had a smallish dinner. If it weren’t for the skin cancer risking sunburn I’d consider myself almost health conscious 😉
I called the kids in for their dinner and then they got changed and we headed off to Badgers. As mentioned earlier as we were early we had a riotous game of tag on the lawn outside and then I left. Ady met me and we had more brisk walking for an hour before it was time to collect them.
A topic of conversation was Scarlett and a day trip to Drusillas with Rainbows that she wants to go on. It’s a full day trip and I’m having all sorts of wobbles about it. First of all it’s a trip in a minibus. Other than a very short trip with Lucy and once with my parents the only people who have ever driven D and S anywhere is me or Ady and I’m twitchy when they’re out with just Ady. Rationally I know that they are no safer with me driving them than anyone else but it doesn’t stop me being irrationally fretful about it. Then there is the whole getting lost, getting hurt, feeling sad stuff to deal with for her being off for the whole day. At the moment if either of the children hurts themselves or just needs a reassuring kiss and cuddle they can come and get it from me straight away. They don’t tend to and they’re certainly not clingy but I still wobble at the idea they might need me and I won’t be there. However I have always maintained that in the same way I will follow their cue as to when they are ready to not need me I will also let them go and have their freedom and independance as and when they ask for it. And she’s asking, so I have to let her go. I’d just about come to terms with this while chatting to Ady and we arrived back at Badgers for a far greater test.
We went in and Scarlett was looking upset. Davies was trying to communicate with his own special brand of sign language what was wrong with her when Julie the leader said they’d been talking about St Johns summer camp and could those who wanted to go put their hands up. Davies’ hand shot up with Tarly looking ever more upset. It turns out they’d been discussing the full week long summer camp for Badgers and Cadets. Tenting, cooking, doing activities like swimming, canoeing, raft building and loads more in August. It’s only actually about 10 miles from here, costs £130 for the week and is only open to over 8 year olds.
Davies has the forms, agrees that he is desperate to go despite knowing he will be away for a whole week, it costs about as much as a Wii (kids currency : electronic game consules) and he will have to eat what is cooked and put infront of him. He is likely to come back hungry, filthy and very very tired. I’m already utterly dreading it and having just come to terms with the idea of Scarlett doing a one day trip this feels like a major leap. But all the above rings true again, all the reasoning underpinnning my parenting choices is about giving them their wings and helping them learn to fly away when the time is right for them, not me. I have to consider this a success really.
Scarlett is devastated. Not that she can’t go but that Davies will be going. She really, really, really doesn’t want him to go and says she will cry the whole time because she’ll miss him so much 🙁 I think we’ll try and invite a friend to come and stay with us for at least part of the time as even the promise of one to one attention from me won’t cut it for her in replacing Davies.
So there you go, sunburnt cleavage and children spreading their wings big style. Eek!
Eek – a week does seem a long time for that young (but I guess he won’t be far off 9 – eek again, lol!). Stay strong 🙂
Comment by Alison — 30 April 2009 @ 12:24 am
My goodness – scary reading but good too.
Would Scarlett like to come here for a sleepover one of the night’s D is away or would that be just weird for everyone?
Comment by Ali — 30 April 2009 @ 12:36 am
Wow a week is a long time when he’s never been away before. You’ll have to pack lots of peanut butter sandwiches for him 😉
Day trip with rainbows sounds fun though, could you go with them if you’re worried about the bus, i’m sure they’ll need parent helpers.
Comment by Liza — 30 April 2009 @ 12:56 am
I think a week *is* a long time for an 8yo to be away somewhere like that – it sounds like fantastic fun though. But really – at school the residentials start in Y3, and then they just do one night. Y4 usually do a 3 day, 2 nighter, and Y5 and 6 then do Mon – Fri. That is plenty long enough.
As a compromise to both you could investigate whether Davies could go just for some of it?
Rainbows trip sounds good though 🙂 Minibuses aren’t that bad, honestly!
Comment by Sarah — 30 April 2009 @ 5:59 am
Violet’s doing 3 days/2 nights away with school in July and they’re hyping it up like it’s Round the World in 80 Days, lol! Don’t think our local primary schools do anything like that. GB/BB have a policy of no under-10s under canvas. Our Junior camp (8-10) is a weekend indoors, and then at 10+ they can go to Senior camp for a week camping.
Maybe Davies could have a couple of sleepovers somewhere before you have to pay for this, so he can see whether he thinks he really would be ok with it? Does it depend which other kids go too?
Comment by Alison — 30 April 2009 @ 8:57 am
H was his age the first time she went to MotB. I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. She hadn’t even met any of the other kids, and till then stressed if I was out of sight for more than 5 mins unless either Bob, granny or Flora was there. She wasn’t even staying at Brownies by herself, had never had a sleepover etc. I was horrifed when she hatched the plan to go, but like that, she was just suddenly ready.It did change her, and it certainly marked the start of the next phase, but it was the right thing. Last year of course she went for two weeks and didn’t even phone once. Be brave 😉
Comment by Joyce — 30 April 2009 @ 11:07 am
He wants to go. So he should have the opportunity of going. He’ll be with people he knows and it sounds fab.
Have to say, C is now having wobbles about PGL (7 nights away!) in August. Revolving around not being able to go to sleep, not finding anything she likes to eat and missing me. I know she won’t wash but she doesn’t anyway at home. I said I’ll put fig rolls and a loaf of bread in her bag and the first night would be the worst and they’ll have so much fun stuff going on that she’ll be tired enough to just drop off.
I think she will do a sleepover at Merry’s before then.
I was 8 and my sister 5 when we first started doing week long residentials. It surely depends on the child rather than their actual age? Bit like readiness for wanting to go to school, some are ready at 4, some are ready at 6, some 11 and some may never be.
C is away 8th – 15th Aug. It’d be funny if D has the same week. Very hard on Tarly though :-(.
Comment by Michelle — 30 April 2009 @ 10:50 pm
Thanks all. I was imagining everyone would tell me I was being far too overprotective and should get over myself so nice to have some eeks!
He’s just as adamant today that he wants to go so I’m sending in the booking form and the £20 deposit tomorrow. The balance is due about a month before the camp so it’ll be closer and more real before we have to pay the biggest lump of money.
It is just down the road, Ady and I will take it in turns to stay teetotal so we can collect him in 15 minutes any time if he needs us and I’m hoping he can take a phone so he can call us if he wants to. It is the biggest step in a slow but sure pulling away and being independant over recent months and just like Joyce said about Hannah he is suddenly ready even if I’m not.
He’ll either have a ball and it will be the start of the next phase or he’ll hate it and come home early and try again when he’s ready, either is fine really I guess.
Ali, that’s really kind, Tarly says she’s not ready yet though. She’d love any company the week Davies is away though so if anyone wants to come and stay with us 15-22 August she’d love the company :). Mich, it’s the week after Chloe is away so I’ll be there for you first and then you can support me the following week ;).
Joyce, thanks 🙂 x
Comment by Nic — 01 May 2009 @ 12:51 am
Oh no. I was hoping it would be the same week. Now I’ll have to be all bright and breezy about it so I don’t make you even more jittery for the following week.
Comment by Michelle — 01 May 2009 @ 1:16 am