Still playing catch up

here is yesterday!

Davies and Scarlett have been going to play (read being looked after) at Caz and Bid’s house every other Wednesday morning so I can go to work and it’s been working really well. They have two boys A and E who are almost identical ages to D and S and the four children get on really, really well with each other. I always have to prise Davies and Scarlett away from the house when I go to collect them and never hear anything which gives me anything to worry about while I’m at work. So the other week we ‘returned the favour’ and Ady had A and E here for a few hours one morning while I was at work and then last week Caz asked if I could have them yesterday for the whole day.

It was Pulborough Brooks monthly HE meet up so I picked A and E up on the way and we went there. We were slightly late so started to walk round at a fast pace and it all went well although I’d perhaps rather have been a bit more leisurely to actually spot some wildlife the children were getting on well playing Ben 10 (A and E are also big fans) . About halfway round we caught up with another family who I’ve met a couple of times – she has 5 boys, 4 of whom are HE’d. I then rang Katie who organises the meet up to ask whether she was there or not and it turned out she’d been sitting in the park waiting for people to arrive. We met up with her and her two just after the start and as it was nearly midday she decided to forgoe the walk too and joined us in the play area for lunch.

I felt slightly under siege trying to accomodate the requests of four children, manage their picnic, ensure all their rubbish ended up in the bin etc while attempting to chat to Katie and Vicky too. Scarlett played well with Katie’s little girl and Davies and A were having a nice time but E kept nagging me to leave (which I was in no hurry to do, I’d have stayed at the park all day if I could). Eventually all the children were wanting to leave so we all left together and we came home.

The car journey was like a Baby Rhyme Time gone wrong with stereo four children singing ‘1, 2, 3, 4, 5, once I caught an X alive’ with X being substituted by more ridiculous things each time :rolls:. Davies and Scarlett were clearly delighted to be ‘getting away with’ the sort of silliness I wouldn’t normally be prepared to listen to – and knew it as they keep casting glances my way but I concentrated on driving.

Once home I filled a pool with some water and aside from a never-quite-got-to-the-bottom of set to between the 3 boys they played mostly nicely in the garden. They did all come in and watch cartoons for a while, loudly, with A and E squashing next to me on the sofa while I tried to ignore them all but when I turned it off again after Ben 10 finished and refused to get any more food for anyone after they ate most of a loaf of bread in toast and then seemed to be racking their brains for more things to ask me for they gave up and went to play again.

I really am crap with children. I adore my own, I like plenty of children as individuals well enough and there are several I could sit and chat to for hours. I don’t mind leading a group of children in a proper activity but just being responsible for other people’s kids, out and about, in public, struggling to find the balance between my own standards of what is and isn’t okay behaviour for children with what they might be used to acting like at home, maintaining some protection for my house and my kids stuff without coming across as a complete control freak is just painful for me. I spent the whole day with a ball of fear about something going wrong – what if one of them got hurt or lost or wanted their mummy. Should I cuddle them if they were upset? tell them to shut up when they were being rowdy and annoying? I can just about maintain the act of being a grown up for Davies and Scarlett – well actually I don’t bother, they are in on the secret that I’m not one and indeed sometimes help me maintain the act for the benefit of other people :lol:.

Anyway, Ady’s offered to be the one to return childcare favours next time rather than me. Know your strengths and don’t set yourself up for failure with things you just can’t pull off I guess. I won’t be offering to host kid only sleepovers any time soon anyway!