On the last day of five…

This morning we loaded up the software Davies got from Ali for his birthday. My old laptop – the one which died after being knocked off the arm of the sofa and was replaced on the house insurance by the lovely little one I am using to post this – has not got a working disc drive but having realised recently that the external disc drive Ady has for his work laptop would probably work and tested it to find indeed it does, so we were able to set it up using that. The software looks to be one of those which despite coming with full instructions – both in leaflet and onscreen – is easier to work out by just playing and fiddling. So with an occassional audience of Tarly that is just what he did. I didn’t actually see any of what he was doing but he certainly seemed to be enjoying himself and I’ll have a better look at it myself soon. So that was a Hit. 🙂

I baked some brownies to take to Lucy’s house, tidied up a bit and managed to be on the way to Lucy’s arriving a mere half hour after I’d planned and slightly before Julie. As ever we had a very nice time there, the children just get on with it and Lucy, Julie and I enjoy chatting about all manner of things, tossing ideas into the forum and generally enjoying each others’ company. Today there was some party post-mortum chat to be done and topics as far reaching as reusable, washable toilet wipes, cruel to be kind ‘breaking in’ children to situations they initially resist and more.

Davies was in the frame of mind where he seemed to be ‘looking for trouble’ – which is where him and I so often clash. He is not ‘naughty’ as such and the instant I tell him not to do a specific thing he will stop, but I feel as thought I spend the whole time nagging him as he stops doing one thing and moves straight onto another. All the while celebrated by his younger posse of followers as some sort of junior superhero. 🙄 Today I had something of an epiphany as I realised that actually what is bothering me is not what he is doing, but my fear of what other people will think and how they will judge him. I am able to see that while it is very frustrating to steer him constantly away from antics such as collecting sticks, finding muddy water, exploring how he can cover a table top in mud using only a stick to paint with or mixing together toilet roll, soap, toothpaste and shampoo in a sink full of water (an example rather than something he did today, I hasten to add!), it is actually not him being deliberately naughty at all. I put quite a lot on Davies and when I look back into the past at what five (or as it has just struck midnight now six) was like it was a time of wonder, of not ever thinking in advance what the consequences might be for actions, of exploring, investigating, of having an idea or notion and carrying it out straightaway. Of wondering ‘what if?’ and just going right on ahead and finding out. Of actually nobody expecting you to know any better because after all you were only six and how would you ever learn unless you did it and found out anyway? So while I still won’t be letting him paint friends’ houses with ash mixture, dig up prize flowers by the roots, block up their plumbing with plaster of paris down the sink without a ‘What were you thinking?’ Go and say sorry right now!’ maybe I’ll try and give him a bit of a break on the whole assuming it was all premeditated and done just to piss me off side of things. Perhaps we’ll work more on the listening to what I say rather than the expecting him to have such a strong sense of responsibility and take it from there.

Julie left with Jack and Maisie so Lucy and I decided to take the remaining children out for a walk. We chose the beach over the park on the basis there is a small playground area there too. Davies and Scarlett pretty much imediately kicked their shoes off and headed for the sea. I started to protest at Davies going into the water but actually it was a really nice day, warm and sunny and we were headed straight for home afterwards anyway so I gave up and let him do his thing. He clambered on rocks, paddled, splashed, waded and crawled around in the sea and had a whale of a time. He has utterly fallen in love with the ocean this summer and given that I too have been in the sea this year having not done so since teenage years I can quite see the attraction. Tarly spent some time digging and building using a shell as a scoop / spade which she then brought over to show me and explain how she’d used it. I told her about how cavemen used things like stones and shells as early tools and then sent her to find a bit of driftwood, a sharp edged stone and some seaweed to lash it together and made her a little axe type tool. The seaweed was very brittle and didn’t really hold it all together, so we plaited it to make it stronger like a rope. It still didn’t really hold but I showed her how much tougher it was to pull and break a plaited thread than a single strand and we talked about that. We also looked at how the tools might have worked and what they could have been used for and I told her that if we’d hit two stones together in the dark we might have seen the sparks created. A lovely little impromptu education session 😉 Then we made anklets from the seaweed before she ran off to play again. All the while having a conversation with Lucy about Home Education 😆

Eventually R had had enough with us not agreeing to her request to go to the park – although in fairness I imagine if we had gone to the park she might have been upset about not having been at the beach – she had reached irrational levels of tiredness as 3 year olds are so often prone. We walked back, Davies stripped off to sit in the car and we came straight in the house for them to have a bath while I cooked their tea. Ady arrived home while they were still there and I was still cooking so I made Davies’ cake too ready for icing in the morning.

An early-ish night for the children, allowing me to make a card for Davies, Ady to blow up several balloons, presents to be unearthed from hiding places and wrapped up and a heap assembled on the lounge floor ready for the morning. Tarly made a card in bed for Davies and did some very nice writing inside – no real concept of what she is ‘writing’ but she copies letters very well and is good at forming them in a ‘proper’ manner rather than the series of sticks and lines that Davies, despite being able to form all the letters still does (e.g circle, then lift the pen from the page before going back in to make a tail to form an ‘a’ giving it more of a capital Q like appearance).

And now, with thoughts on my mind of the agony I was in this time six (SIX!!!!) years ago right now I am off to bed. Scared myself today to realise I will have a five year old again by the end of next year, except it will be Tarly. And if Tarly will be five then Davies will be seven!!! 😯