Right you lot can you not detect sarcasm and irony when you see it?! I’m not *really* a housewife. I’m Nic, you know, Nic, gets her cleavage out a lot, drinks too much and leaves all the housework to her trusty Adybloke.

And as for leaving recipes here I am disgusted with the lot of you! 😉

But to answer your question Merry I use the recipe I was taught by my very old fashioned home ec. teacher at my all girls school (before I went off the rails) which is half fat to flour – so 8oz SR flour with 4oz fat (use stork in foil for pastry normally), sift flour, add fat in small chunks and rub in til it resembles breadcrumbs.

Add a splash of water at a time, mix in with wooden spoon until bonded then knead it with your hands – secret of good pastry is as little handling as possible and to keep it cool, so I bung it in the fridge for 15 mins or so before using. (today I made two batches and then went to paint my nails, normally I would go and sit down and drink wine while I’m waiting!).

Mincemeat is the cheapest I can buy and then in flusher days I used to leave it soaking with brandy and add in chopped nuts and cherries (cheaper to buy them and add them yourself than to buy the luxury mince meat – and feels more authentic!).

I have no pastry cutters but pint glasses make the bottoms and skinny glasses make the tops – or as today I used the forbidden word shapes instead, prick with a fork, brush with some milk and bung in the oven. Drink more wine while they cook.

When they come out I sprinkle icing sugar over them with a sieve which hides any imperfections and gives them the buxom wench feel – serve with more wine! I was even complimented by a small child on them today! 😉